Homestar Fantasy
by Serious Cacodemon
Summary: After being thrown into the World of Balance, it's up to the gang to stop the Empire lead by the King of Town and the ChildrenArrowed guy to get home. Chapter 7 is now up. Minor fixes for Chapters 3 and 6. Please R&R! Has other cameos in Chapter 6
1. Welcome to Cheatshe

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Squaresoft, or rather Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
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This crossover may occasionally have characters from other shows, games and stuff, and you'll know when the copyrights area has them.  
  
Anyways, enjoy the story :)  
  
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The War of the Magi. Actually not just The War of the Magi. It's The War of the Magi and 20X6 and 1936. Thousands of years ago there was a great war, and there brought great devastation and stuff. Of course, these thousands of years was when before even Homestar Runner and the others were even born yet. The world was layed to ruins, and magic seized to exist. The war costed many lives, and caused devastation to the world. Luckily, the world was rebuilt, and thousands of years have passed, and Iron, Gunpowder and steam engines have been rediscovered. Unfortunately, there are those that would enslave the world by reviving the dreadful destructive power, known as "Magic". It could also do the opposite of destruction, but it hasn't been found out about... Yet. Can it be that those in power could be on the verge of repeating the sensless and deadly mistake? Only time will tell, and pray that the world doesn't get annihilated altogether...  
  
(Somewhere in the mountains)  
  
Biggs and Wedge, and some person were up on a mountain, at the sighting of the town called 'Cheatshe'.  
  
"Here it is. The town." Wedge tells Biggs.  
  
"I can't believe there's still an Esper frozen there, after the thousands of years in the War of the Magi and 20X6 and 1936." Biggs said.  
  
"Why did the war last thousands of years anyways, and why was there opposition from 20X6 and 1936 anyways?"  
  
"I'm not exactly sure there, Wedge. I'm glad we're not in that ridiculous war anyways."  
  
"Yeah, but I'd like to know why they call that town 'Cheatshe'. I don't even know why it's called that!"  
  
"I don't know either Wedge, And considering that this thing, which this man from a comic called 'Teen Girl Squad' says his name is Homestar Runner."  
  
"Uh, what?" Homestar questioned.  
  
Wedge was a little confused. "Biggs, was it a good idea to not put on a Slave Crown on this guy's head?" Wedge asked Biggs.  
  
"What's the point of doing that Wedge?" Biggs replied, "Homestar already has that hat with the propeller on it and well, he's pretty dimwitted, especially when the Poopsmith gave him a million pounds of Bum Candy. He'll obey us any day. Besides, there doesn't seem to be a slave hat with a propeller on it anyways, and that lazy King of Town doesn't want to do something about it. All that oaf cares about is food!"  
  
"Ah yes, you're right Wedge. That King of Town is awful. No wonder nobody likes him, and not even the Children/Arrowed guy likes him, even though he works with him. Anyways, we are very close to 'Cheatshe' anyways. We just have the rest of the way to go in these uh, whatever they are."  
  
"I think according to Final Fantasy 6 terms these are Magitek Armors."  
  
"Dammit! Thanks for reminding me there. What bugs me here though is what Children/Arrowed guy said about Homestar being able to destroy 50 of the punting dinos in under 30 seconds. How can someone like Homestar Runner be able to do that? It's unbelievable!"  
  
"Uh, you're referring to the dino that kicked 'What's Her Face' in Teen Girl Squad are you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay. Don't be so sure though. There has been heavy evidence, and even the security surveillance shows the truth. Homestar actually did it. He's going to be the key to winning this war!"  
  
"Yeah! Well anyways, lets get down the mountain and head towards Cheatshe, from the East! Move out everyone!"  
  
Homestar asked, "Uh, I'm sorry, what?"  
  
"Biggs means we're going down this mountain and heading toward the town, Homestar. Get moving!" Wedge reminded Homestar.  
  
"Uh, I'm tawking about this so called war. How come thewre is a thowsend yeawr war or so against the Makgi and 20X6 and 1936, and then there's this war between the Empire andz da Strongbadia?" Homestar questioned again.  
  
"*sighs* Well this war has been going on before you came along. Anyways, get your butt moving and come with us!"  
  
"Oh uh, Okay. Homestar Runner will be behind you!"  
  
"Good. Lets move out!"  
  
The three then go down the mountain path and move towards 'Cheatshe'. How Homestar Runner ended up being brought here and working for the Empire is unknown to him, except for the vortex that formed back at his own world. Homestar remembers the events that lead to what happened....  
  
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Homestar Runner was looking for Strong Bad, asking if he could use his Fonte Pot again, but could not find him anywhere, and was not even at his Compy 386 either. It seemed really quiet. Homestar then went down into the basement, only to find a disgruntled Strong Bad groaning and throwing hissy fits as he keeps on losing.  
  
"Hey, Stwong Bad? What ya playin?" Homestar asked.  
  
"None of your freaking business Homestar!" Strong Bad replied, "I'm too freaking frustrated to put up with this than to put up with whatever crap you're gonna tell me right now!"  
  
Of course, Strong Bad's attention to Homestar Runner only got him annihilated at the first tier, and Homestar saw the word "Annihilated" on the screen in the upper left corner of the TV. Strong Bad got so furious and freaked out that he looked at Homestar with a twitchy eye.  
  
"THAT'S IT, HOMESTAR! YOU'RE SO FREAKING DEAD!" Strong Bad shouted, as he starts chasing Homestar up the stairs to the main floor, and out of the apartment nearly everyone resides at. Homestar runs by Bubs' Concession stand and stops there.  
  
"Hey there Homestar! How can I help you?" Bubs asked Homestar.  
  
"Oh hey Bubs!" Homestar replied, "I don't have enough time to talk, because I'm trying to get eway from Stwong Bah..."  
  
"YOU'RE SO GOING TO BE HURT BIG TIME," Bellowed Strong Bad as he ran towards Homestar Runner.  
  
"What's going on here?!?" Bubs asks Strong Bad.  
  
Before Strong Bad could even explain one bit of the mishap, Homeschool Winner comes running by and accidently collides into Homestar Runner. Homestar got up, his head a little sore.  
  
"Owwwww, What's your prublem Howmeschewl?" Homestar asked Homeschool.  
  
"Sorry about that Homestar," He replied, "But there's a cursed copy of Final Fantasy Anthology around here and whoever plays through and loses far too many times will get sucked into a world that is mostly Final Fantasy 6! The Disks glow blue a lot if you don't know what they look like."  
  
"WHAT?!?" Strong Bad shouted.  
  
"Well, the copy of Final Fantasy Anthology I sold to Strong Bad was awkward looking," Bubs tells Homeschool, "It was all weird and glowing and stuff, glowing a heavy blue might I add. Strong Bad didn't seem to mind the glow, but I just couldn't stand it!"  
  
"Gah!" Homeschool shouts out, "We've got to find it before something really terrible happens! Homestar and Strong Bad, lets go!"  
  
So, Homestar Runner, Homeschool Winner, and Strong Bad make a run for the basement at the apartment. Unfortunately, the three of them are too late, as The Cheat was already playing through his file and Pom Pom, Coach Z, and Strong Mad are watching him play it.  
  
"The Cheat, stop playing that before it's too late!" Strong Bad shouted out.  
  
"MEEEEEEEEH MEH!" (NO WAY!) The Cheat replied.  
  
"What's the problem thiere boys?" Coach Z asked.  
  
Homeschool replied. "Well, that copy of Final Fantasy Anthology is cursed and if losing enough times to anything will cause all of us to go into a Final Fantasy 6-like world!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (That's ridiculous! Games can't do that!), Pom Pom said.  
  
Strong Mad was still watching The Cheat play, and unfortunately, The Cheat had the toughest time battling the MagiMaster at the top of the Cult of Kefka's tower, and his party succumbed to Ultima. Unfortunately, it was too late now. The game shut off on The Cheat, and a vortex opened up, sucking The Cheat in.  
  
"HOLY CRAP! IT HAS HAPPENED ALREADY!" Strong Bad shouted, trying to hold on to the couch for dear life. Unfortunately, Strong Bad lost hold of the couch and got sucked in. Coach Z, then Homestar Runner got sucked in.  
  
"AGH! NO I CANNOT BE SUCKED INTO THIS!" Homeschool Winner shouted as he held onto Pom Pom's leg. Unfortunately, both Homeschool and Pom Pom got sucked in next.  
  
"NOOOOO WAY AAAAM IIIII GOOOIIINNNGG!!!" Strong Mad uttered awkwardly, being in his tantrum-like mood since finding out that the Super Bowl was over 4 hours ago one time. Eventually, Strong Mad got sucked in as well, and somehow, the others got sucked in too. Strong Sad, Bubs, Homsar, King of Town, Marzipan, Poopsmith, Blacksmith, and many other characters, which include Sir Strong Bad (1936 Strong Bad variation), Stinkoman, Pan Pan, Fat Dudley, Teen Girl Squad, Trogdor, Kerrek, Eh! Steve, Talking Wheelchair, and others among those. Then, the portal closed behind them. All of them have been sucked into a world like Final Fantasy 6's world.  
  
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Before Homestar Runner could remember the rest of what happened which lead him up to this point, Wedge notified him and Biggs that they are now at the town of Cheatshe.  
  
"Well we're better off having Homestar be at the front point. Forward!" Biggs commanded.  
  
"Okay then," Homestar replied as he went on ahead in his Magitek Armor.  
  
The three meet up with some of Cheatshe's guards and their guard dogs as well.  
  
"Magitek Armor? Dammit Cheatshe does not seem safe anymore!" One of the guards shouted, before he got blasted with a fire beam attack from Wedge's Magitek Armor. Homestar didn't even know what to do.  
  
"Um, what's this button do?" Homestar asked as he pressed the button and unknowingly shot off a Tek Missile right into the other guard. Unfortunately, he accidently hit Biggs as well.  
  
"Dammit Homestar watch your aim!" Biggs yelled at him, while putting up with the guard dogs, before he was able to overthrow them.  
  
"Ooooh, Sorwy," Homestar replied, "This thing is so impossible to use! Dumb muchine!"  
  
"*sigh*, Lets just keep going," Wedge reminds them both.  
  
The three continue on, and of course, they come up to some more guards, who brought some of these mammoth-like creatures called Vommamths. "We must protect the mines from these people!" One of the Guards shout out. Homestar takes down the Vommamths with Tek Missiles, and the guards are fried by Fire Beams from Biggs and Wedge.  
  
After they're defeated, the three enter the mines. Inside these mines, the three move on forward through, dealing with the little opposition they have. "According to our sources we received from the Arrowed guy and the King of Town, the Frozen Esper is just down this mine shaft." Wedge tells the others, as they approach the gate barring the way.  
  
"Stand back, I'll handle this gate," Biggs tells Wedge and Homestar. They both back away as Biggs charges through the gate, destroying it. Of course, this was short lived, as a guard was waiting back there.  
  
"We will not hand over the Esper! Sick em, Whelk!" The guard shouted out.  
  
"Uh, whut is this Whelk person?" Homestar asked Wedge.  
  
"Well, it's this ridiculous snail thing that can absorb electricity and stuff. Biggs, remember our training!" Wedge replied.  
  
"Yeah, and we should attack it when it's head is sticking out, otherwise we'll get a major shockage!" Biggs replied.  
  
Unfortunately, Homestar would learn the hard way, as he attacks the shell instead of the head, and gets volted seriously.  
  
"Um, I think you should have told that to Homestar as well there Wedge," Biggs said to Wedge.  
  
"Owwww, those things are bad for you, Whelk!" Homestar told Whelk, after getting over the voltage he received. Homestar decided to yank out Whelk's soft body and then whip it around and also against it's own shell. Twirling Whelk around, Homestar Runner tosses him into the air and then finishes him off with a Tek Missile. Biggs and Wedge were shocked at the sight.  
  
"Holy Crap!" Wedge said, "From dumb to intelligent in just a few short minutes! He's learned really fast!"  
  
"Oh it was nothin' really," Homestar replied, "Whelk is far too easy for his own good, and I showed it who's boss. Now lets get this frozen Popsicle up ahead!"  
  
"THAT'S FROZEN ESPER YOU DOPE!" Biggs shouted.  
  
"Knock it off Biggs!" Wedge shouted at Biggs.  
  
Afterwards, the three finally make their way towards the frozen Esper. It was glowing errily blue.  
  
"Wow, that's got to be the most best looking thing ever, Seriously." Homestar said.  
  
Unfortunately, the glow got more bright.  
  
"What's happening?!?" Biggs shouted, "AGH NO!!!!!"  
  
Biggs disappeared, leaving only Wedge and Homestar Runner there. Soon, Wedge disappeared by another bright flash. Now Homestar was left alone. Strangely though, the frozen Esper used some sort of beams on Homestar and continued on doing so until the space that Homestar was in got bigger, then Homestar blacked out, the last thing he remembers is the Esper using those beams on him.  
  
Homestar woke up. He got up, and saw that he was no longer in the mines of 'Cheatshe'. "Wow, you finally woke up," an old man tells him.  
  
Homestar took one step, but felt a little naucious. "Ooooh man, I drank one too many glasses of Melonade," Homestar replied, "And I blame that oversized Popsicle for my condition too."  
  
"Something is really going on here," The old man tells Homestar, "That frozen Esper you and the others went to is dangerous, and somehow you haven't disappeared from view at all."  
  
Of course, there was some shouting outside. "Hey! Open up and hand over that weirdo and his Magitek Armor right now!" It was the guards again.  
  
"You better get out of here, uh, whoever you are," The old man tells Homestar.  
  
"Oh uh, my name is Homestar Runner," Homestar replied, "And I'll get eway frum these people you talk of."  
  
So, Homestar was lead out the back door, and Homestar went on from there. The guards saw him up on the bridge and run off elsewhere to get a way up to Homestar. He continued forward, dealing with a few Were Rats, Vaporites, and Repomen, which he swiftly defeated with his baseball bat. Homestar found some interesting items inside, like a tent, and other items as well. Unfortunately, as Homestar got to the left bend, the guards of 'Cheatshe' got him cornered, and unfortunately, part of the floor was weak, causing him to fall through the floor. Homestar was laying on his back, and he got up. He takes a few short steps before he falls down and becomes unconsious. Of course, he has a small extra flashback...  
  
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Arrowed guy grinned as he spitted arrows at one of the soldiers that tried to escape with Homestar. "Hahahaha! I spit arrows, drive a children truck, toss MSG-filled Spring Rolls, and Cerebellums others with an oversized brain with an Eye patch!" Arrowed guy taunted the dying soldier, "Nobody will get Homestar out of here! He will win us the war! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" After the taunting, Arrowed guy finished off the soldier by a final spitting of arrows.  
  
Arrowed Guy glared at Homestar. "Don't try to escape from Vertex Homestar! You cannot evade us and you'll be working for us! You and Marzipan are excellent additions to our army! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"  
  
Homestar would be angry, but unfortunately, he's more scared of the fact that Arrowed Guy is now a reality and not just a mere character in Strong Bad's 'Teen Girl Squad' comic. Homestar quietly walked back, not thinking of what just happened to the soldier who tried to help him out of the city of Vertex.  
  
Later that day, the King of Town proposes the speech.  
  
"To this day, we shall see the start of magic being revived, and me eating all this food to my right. But of course, this reviving of magic will be a breakthrough, and one giant step for the Empire! All hail the King of Town!" The King of Town announces.  
  
"Long Live the King of Town! Long live the Empire!" the soldiers cheer, despite that every single one of them doesn't like the King of Town.  
  
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Back at the old man's house, the back door opened. "About time you got here, Mexican-mask wearing loonie!" The Old man said.  
  
"Hey! That's Strong Bad to you!" Strong Bad replied loudly!  
  
"Okay," The Old man replied, "And how do you type with those Boxing gloves on?!?"  
  
"Hey I don't like that question Arvis! I've had enough of that question from my E-mails! So anyways, what's up?"  
  
"The guards of 'Cheatshe' are after Homestar Runner, and if they manage to get their hands on him, we're done for!"  
  
"WHAT?!? HOMESTAR IS LIKE THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON EVER! HE FREAKING GOT ME LOSING AND CHASING AFTER HIM!"  
  
"Still, you're the only one who can save him. You need to head the same way Homestar went and find him."  
  
"Fine then. I'll do it. Anyways I admit, Homestar is not as annoying as Homsar anyways."  
  
Strong Bad runs through the same path Homestar Runner took, and finding the hole where Homestar fell through. He jumped down. Sure enough, he saw Homestar lying on the floor, unconsious. Strong Bad looks ahead and sees the situation.  
  
"Oh crap! Those guards are extremely terrible. Those mammoth freaks and that stupid armored leader. What am I going to do?"  
  
Strong Bad then hears something familiar: "Meeeeah Meeahh Meeeh!" (We can Help!). Strong Bad looks back, and is surprised by who he sees. "The Cheat! You're here! Oh man, things are really getting out of hand here. The freaking guards are after Homestar for some reason. We've got to put a stop to them!"  
  
"Meeeh meeeaaheeh meaahehe meeeh meeha Meeah Meh." (There's more of me as I found out, Strong Bad.) The Cheat replied.  
  
Behind the Cheat, there popped out 10 more Cheat critters. "Okay, lets kick some 'Cheatshe' guard butt!" Strong Bad shouted out. Strong Bad takes one group of Cheats, while the Cheat takes another, and another 4 occupy the last group. The Cheat goes ahead to dispatch some of the guards, via capers such as 'prank call!' and 'sworded', while the other Cheats attack with their weapons. Strong Bad attacks a few of the Vommamths with his boxing gloves, not realizing how strong they are. The guards were then defeated by the Cheats in Strong Bad's group. The lone Cheat group without 'The Cheat' are on guard, preventing whatever opposition from reaching Homestar Runner.  
  
Meanwhile, Strong Bad's group continued moving forwards to the leader of the opposition. The Cheat's group following behind. They finally reach the demented leader. "You're trying to prevent us from getting that fiend, are you?" The leader said, looking at Strong Bad.  
  
"Yeah, and we're gonna freaking pulverize you as well and there's nothing you can do about it!" Strong Bad replied, "I suppose I'm gonna have to get you DELETED!"  
  
"You're so dead there, mister!" Growled the guard leader.  
  
The vicious guard leader runs forwards and knocks Strong Bad backwards. The other Cheats attempt to fight back, but they too are knocked back, and towards Strong Bad. The Cheat was horrified at this fact and decides to get back at that guard by projecting a couple of Knights (The ones from the Trogdor game), and of course, they manage to get the guard leader 'sworded'. Unfortunately, he was damaged a little. "Oh, what a pathetic attack there you furball," The guard leader said to The Cheat, "But I cannot die by getting sworded that easily!"  
  
The guard leader kicked The Cheat away, and looked back at Strong Bad, who got up. "You're all pathetic! You cannot beat me! All your attempts are defeated and I'm invincible! Hand over that freak or die!"  
  
"You're ruthless man, ruthless!" Strong Bad shouted, "What makes you think you can have Homestar that easy! Only myself will get into stuff that involves stuff towards Homestar that could otherwise put him in a lot of pain and stuff, and you're not gonna have him!"  
  
"Well die you fat-stomached freak of nature!" The guard leader replied, with an evil grin on his face.  
  
Strong Bad thought to himself what could happen to him, seeing as he is about to die at the hands of a psychopath who couldn't be sworded whatsoever. The guard leader was ready to finish off Strong Bad, ready to strike where it will mean a fatal kill. He charged towards Strong Bad, aiming at his forehead targetted by the blue gem, and was almost about ready to strike, when a blast of fire came towards him, frying the guard leader and sending him flying backwards. The guard leader was shocked when he saw whoever used fire on him. "You leave Stwong Bad alone there!" An angry Homestar Runner told him.  
  
Homestar, along with the Cheat and the other Cheats, marched towards the guard leader. "But this can't be! How could you have possibly used magic on me! Oh crap! I'm doomed!"  
  
The guard leader attempted to run away, but of course, Homestar was quick with the bat and hit where it hurt, and the guard leader dropped like a fly. "Well, dat's the last of them," Homestar said, "And thanks, The Cheat. I've had eenough uf the dreams I've seen."  
  
"Holy Crap Homestar," Strong Bad replied, "You know how we freaking got here? If you do, then Oh man, what a big mistake in my part for even getting that ridiculous glowing copy of Final Fantasy Anthology."  
  
"Meeeeeeeh Meeah," (It was my fault actually), The Cheat tells them, "Meeeeah meefh meeeeh meeeeh meeeeh" (I shouldn't have bothered playing that game).  
  
"Oh it wasn't entirely your fault there, Cheat. I didn't know that it was cursed to begin with. There's no time to resume what went on. We should head straight to Bubs' Concession castle."  
  
"Okay." Homestar agrees.  
  
Homestar, Strong Bad, and the Cheat leave the cave through a passage. The switch they found that leads out of the place is noted by Strong Bad when any of their friends needs to backtrack through there. The Cheat told the other Cheats to stay and guard the place while he is gone with the others. With determination, the three leave 'Cheatshe' and get ready for their long trip towards Bubs' Concession Castle.  
  
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So far this is turning out to be one crazy fanfic. Next chapter they will all meet Bubs at his Concession Castle, then be on their way to the Returners' Hideout. 


	2. The way of the Concession Lands

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Squaresoft, or rather Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
Chapter 2: The way of the Concession lands  
  
(At the fields away from Cheatshe)  
  
Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, and the Cheat just got away from the most tempting place ever, Cheatshe, barely escaping with their lives. They definately couldn't get back in anyways, with the heavier security going on now. They are moving through the fields, and of course, having to deal with opposition along the way, mainly monsters like some leafers and stuff. Strong Bad managed to pound the leafers with his boxing gloves, and Homestar burned the other enemies accompanying the leafers. The Cheat threw some bad animation at a group of leafers and were all annihilated by it. The three continue on, and into a desert.  
  
Of course, this Desert was incredibly big, and it would be impossible to find the Concession Castle. Homestar was sweating but still standing, the Cheat fainted of over-exposure, and Strong Bad is sweating and walking low, as if he were ready to collapse of over-exposure to the heat.  
  
"Oh man," Strong Bad complains, "This desert is so freaking huge and I can't stand it!"  
  
"Uh, why are we going through here anyways?" Homestar asked.  
  
"Hey shut up Homestar!" Strong Bad snapped back, "It's bad enough Arvis talked me into rescuing a moron like yourself. Boy you're absolutely stupid!"  
  
Strong Bad always has been harsh towards Homestar, like the whole time. Unfortunately, since he is forced to travel with Homestar, he might as well put up with it. The Cheat was still resting inside a knapsack Strong Bad found near a skeleton, and as well getting tons of goods which surprisingly are in good condition still.  
  
Homestar Runner and Strong Bad continue walking along. Strong Bad couldn't take it anymore and collapsed. "Oh man, why did Bubs decide to have a Concession Castle in the middle of this freaking desert? Why?"  
  
The Cheat got out of the knapsack to answer, "Meeeeaaeeaah Meehiaaheee" (Didn't you bother checking the automap?)  
  
"Oh Crap!" Strong Bad replied, "Why didn't I think of that before?"  
  
Strong Bad pulled out the Automap. Apparantly they were wondering around the border for like, forever. Strong Bad pinpointed the location of the Concession Castle. "The Concession Castle is to the North-east of where we are."  
  
"Okay," Homestar said.  
  
The three then walk in the right direction to the Concession Castle, when they stopped to find many Sand Rays popping out, as well as Areneids. The Cheat climbed out of the Knapsack. "Meeeghahahga!" (Time for flameage!) The Cheat shouted out as he used another Cheat: Grand blaze. The fire toasted the Sand Rays, but the Areneids evaded it and one struck The Cheat. Strong Bad got angry and decided to grab one of the offending Areneids. The Areneid attempted to sting Strong Bad, but unfortunately, Strong Bad's boxing gloves protected him and couldn't get hurt. Strong Bad crushed the critter between the gloves and tossed the dead, crushed body of the Areneid at another, and that one died as well. Homestar finished off the last one by hitting it hard with his baseball bat. Unfortunately, there were more where those came from. "This duz not look good fur Homestar Runner, Stong Bah, and The Cheat," Homestar said.  
  
"For one I agree Homestar," Strong Bad replied, about ready to run away from them.  
  
The three all run away from the chasing Sand Rays and Areneids. Strong Bad keeps looking at the Automap and tells Homestar and The Cheat which way to go to next. Finally, the three lost the critters that have been chasing them for the previous 10 minutes. They finally see an awkward looking place. The bricks that constructed the castle were all a bunch of awkward colours, such as red, blue, green, and yellow. Strong Bad approaches the Concession Castle guard.  
  
"Who do you think you are?" The Concession Castle guard asked Strong Bad.  
  
"For your information there, I'm Strong Bad, and this is Homestar Runner and The Cheat. We're friends of Bubs'. We need to see him right away."  
  
"That's what everyone says these days. Take my advice and get lost!"  
  
A familiar voice came from behind. "Hey! You still keeping out guests again?" It was Bubs. "Hey there Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat. I apologize for the uptight guards at this castle. It's just that there have been many thiefs trying to break in and go off with the goods inside. Anyways, come on in!"  
  
Bubs looks back at the Concession Castle guard and says: "And if you don't do something about that paranoid attitude, I'll have you fired!"  
  
The Concession Castle Guard now shook with fear. He didn't want to be fired, so he went back to his post and tried to remain calm afterwards. Inside the Concession Castle, Bubs leads Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat to the throne room, or should I say Concession Stands room. "Whoa, Bubs!" Strong Bad comments, "There's loads of stuff here, in fact much more than at the Concession Stand back on our world.  
  
"What world?" Bubs asked, "I thought we were still in our own world!"  
  
"Nope. Homestar had some flashbacks before I even came along, and even though I really hate Homestar, I'm gonna have to agree. I hate to say this Bubs, but we are in the World of Balance."  
  
"Well now that makes sense Strong Bad. Me and my squadron searched the whole world for our Apartment, but there doesn't seem to be an apartment anywhere, and not even Strongbadia isn't around! So, I guess we must be in the World of Balance! Anyways Homestar, what mishaps were occurring at the Empire before you evaded them?"  
  
"You don't wunna know," Homestar Runner replies, "But, I'll fill you in. When I woke up after the freaking glowing thing sucked us all in, me and Marzipan found ourselves in Vertex..."  
  
Then there was another flashback...  
  
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Homestar Runner got up. The pull from the Vortex which the TV created got everyone separated, and in a different world. He went to investigate. Everything was quiet. Also, the place was extremely ugly, and composed mostly of metal. Homestar continued walking forward, up the stairs, and decided to check out the Castle. Continuing forward, Homestar walked by the machinery, and watching Imperial troops taking some sort of creatures to another room. "Uh, what's goin' on here you guys?" Homestar asked.  
  
The Imperial troopers looked back, and sighted Homestar. "INTRUDER! GET HIM er, IT!" One of the Imperial Troopers shouted.  
  
"This does not look good for Homestar Runner..." Homestar said to himself, as he prepared to run from the troopers. They chased him through hallways, up the stairs, and Homestar needed some place to hide. Finding a nearby door, he enters it. He was in one of the Crew quarters, and of course he decided to check the place out. Of course, he notices someone is there. It was Marzipan, still unconsious and laying on one of the beds. Homestar went towards Marzipan and shook her to wake her up.  
  
"Uh, what? Where am I?" Marzipan said. She woke up to see Homestar Runner. "Homestar, is that you?"  
  
"Yep, it's me, Homestar Runner."  
  
"Homestar, please explain why we're here."  
  
"Blame Stwong Bad and The Cheat for playing a cursed copy of Final Fantasy Anthology."  
  
"What the crap? I told them not to touch it, because I was concerned about going blind by the glow from there than winding up in this world."  
  
"They didn't even know, and Homeschool Winner was too late to stop them frum doin' so."  
  
"Oh Homestar, how are we going to get out of this world?"  
  
Before Homestar Runner could answer, the Imperial guards busted the door down. "You're a talented freak there," one of the Imperial Soldiers tells them, "And you, Broomstick freak, if you run away the next couple of times, you'll be known as a traitor! Take them away!"  
  
Both Homestar and Marzipan were thrown into a prison. They've been thrown into the same cell. "Oh man, this could be thee end of us," Homestar said.  
  
"Thanks for trying to get me out of here Homestar," Marzipan replied, "But there seems to be no escape from here. Especially since my own dad would do this to me!"  
  
Before they knew it, the cell door opened again, and some sort of person who keeps his mouth opened the whole time walks in.  
  
========================================  
  
Unfortunately, Homestar couldn't remember the whole thing. "Oh man, I forgot what happened afterwards," Homestar said.  
  
"Oh crap!" Strong Bad replied, "You really are dumb! Dumb enough to forget something like that!"  
  
"MEEEHHAHEEHEEEEAHEE! MEEEEHAAMEEEMEEEDEEE!" (Strong Bad! Stop giving Homestar a hard time when he doesn't remember stuff!) The Cheat yelled at Strong Bad.  
  
"Sorry." Strong Bad apologized.  
  
"You all seem tired," Bubs says, "You should rest up and stuff. Homestar, your room is at the right tower of this Castle. Strong Bad and the Cheat, yours are at the left tower."  
  
"Fine by me," Strong Bad replied, "At least I can get away from Homestar and not have to put up with him. This has been a really rough day. *yawn* come on The Cheat, time to hit the sack."  
  
One of the Concession Castle guards lead Homestar to his room. When they got to his room, Homestar really wasn't tired. "Uh, I ain't sleepy yet," Homestar said, "And I really want to check this place out."  
  
"Well okay then," The guard replied, "Just don't get into any trouble."  
  
Homestar then went back to the central area of the Castle. First place to check out for him is through the door to the left of the door leading to the concession stands. One of the doors has a room with four beds, but of course there wasn't any use for that room yet. Homestar left the area, realizing one of the staircases lead to the left tower, where Strong Bad and The Cheat are currently inside. He then decided to check out the door to the right of the door leading to Bubs' Concession Stand room. This room looked like a library to Homestar, but of course he decided to check it out anyways. Some of the most awkward books there are, and even stranger are the ones which chronicle every major event that ever happened in Homestar's world. Homestar noticed someone very familiar as he checked one of the sections. Coach Z was sitting on a chair, reading something.  
  
"Coach Z?" Homestar said.  
  
"Huh? Oh, It's you, Homestar!" Coach Z responded, "Man I thought you weeeeeere gone for good!"  
  
"Uh, me, Strong Bad and the Cheat got here from Cheatshe, and we're on a mission to put a stop to some sort of evil."  
  
"Ooh, great jaerb so far then. Bubs has been waiting for you and I supposed you met up with him?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I'm sure glad you're gonna be with these people called 'the Returners'. Stinkoman was here several hours ago before you, Strong Bad, or The 'Chort' got here."  
  
"Uh, Stinkoman wus here?"  
  
"Yeah, and he wasn't intending on joining. Too bad, he seemed really powerful."  
  
========================================  
  
Stinkoman was at the room inside the left tower, talking with Coach Z. "So uh, Stinkoman, you deciding to join the Retoorners?" Coach Z asked.  
  
"Uh, what? What is this Retoorners group?" Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Oh sorry. I meant Returniers, no I mean Returners! Yes, Returners! You want to join?"  
  
"No way. I fight solo. There's no way I'm joining!"  
  
"But Stinkoman, the Empire is about to wreak havoc on this world!"  
  
"Empire, wreaking havoc on the world?!? HAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA like I'd fall for that, HAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"Oh geesh. You don't even know the kind of plot they're up to?"  
  
"Nope, and unless they're really a problem, I'm gonna be heading elsewhere. Tell Bubs that there's no way I'm joining anytime soon!"  
  
And with that, Stinkoman ran out the tower, and jumped off.  
  
"Oh geesh, what am I going to tell Bubs?" Coach Z said to himself.  
  
=====================================  
  
Coach Z was depressed now. "And now we're doomed to fail," Coach Z concluded.  
  
Homestar Runner was confused. He did not know who Stinkoman is, and what his problem is with not joining. In fact, Homestar still was concerned with himself joining the Returners himself. "Uh, I'm entirely not shoore if I wunt to join either," Homestar said, "But I'll leave that decision when we get to the Returners' hideout."  
  
"Okay, but do note that it would be nice to join, Homestar," Coach Z replied, "After all, you're an excellent runner and athlete, and you do a great 'Joarb' out there!"  
  
"Oh man, you're back to having trouble saying 'job' again, aren't you? Oh well, at least it's better than being called Hamstray, Stairmaster, or whatever."  
  
"Well yeah, so anyways, where's Strong Bad and the Chorp?"  
  
"I don't know. Bubs sayed that they are staying at the left tower, and I'm not sure if Stwong Bah wants me there."  
  
========================================  
  
Strong Bad and The Cheat got to the room. It was enormous. "Oh man, The Cheat, we've struck it lucky!"  
  
Strong Bad notices that everything was transferred to this world: Trogdor Arcade Machine, TV Set and Video Game Systems, and other stuff, but most noticably his Compy 386. The Cheat's stuff is also there, including his iMac system.  
  
"Oh man," Strong Bad said, "I haven't checked my email in like three months."  
  
Strong Bad starts up his Compy 386, and then types in 'strongbad_email.exe' as usual. He receives the following email:  
  
---------------  
  
Dear Strong Bad,  
  
How would it feel if you were in a world directly from a video game? What world would it be?  
  
---------------  
  
Of course, Strong Bad was pretty shocked to see who sent it to him.  
  
---------------  
  
With uh, I dunno,  
  
Locke Cole  
  
---------------  
  
Strong Bad shouted, "Holy Crap! I can't believe I received an email from Locke! If me and the others are in the World of Balance, then the FF6 Characters must be in our turf!"  
  
"Meeeeeeeehmeeeheeeemeeehehe" (No Kidding Strong Bad) The Cheat replied, "Meeeeh maaeeeemh meeaheemh!" (They must be trapped there themselves!)  
  
"Well anyways, I'm crashing for the night. Good night, The Cheat."  
  
Strong Bad then fell asleep and was snoring. Of course, The Cheat didn't feel like sleeping yet, and decides to check things out. The Cheat goes to the library area of the castle, where Homestar Runner and Coach Z are reading all about the World of Balance.  
  
"Hey there, The Chort," Coach Z said to The Cheat.  
  
"Meeehaheh Meeghmeehahheeemeee" (Hello, Coach Z, you accent-plagued person you,) The Cheat replied.  
  
"So, Cheat, how are things going there?" Homestar asked.  
  
"Mehaaheeeheheea Maaaeeeeeheeekeeeh Meeeaaaaneeeheheeeeannnn!" (Well, for one thing, Strong Bad received an email from a character found in Final Fantasy 6!)  
  
"Oh man. That's the most incredible thing I have evar herd!" Homestar thought for a moment, then thought about who Stinkoman is. "Oh btw, The Cheat, do you know of Stinkoman by any chance?"  
  
"Meeeheeehmeeeammmeehmeeanhehene!" (I thought Strong Bad made him up in Email #56, Japanese Cartoon!)  
  
"Oooooooh, I get it, he's not real, but frum whut Coach Z told me, Stinkoman went off somewhere and saying that he didn't want to join something called The Returners or sumethin'. I don't remember where though."  
  
"Well, I guess we should get to sleep I guess. Well, goodnight Homestar. Goodnight The Chorp." Coach Z said, as he walked from the library. Soon, The Cheat returned back to the appropriate tower and Homestar went back to his tower. Homestar fell asleep, and drifted to dreamland...  
  
...or not? A few hours later, The Cheat ran to where Homestar slept and abruptly woke him up. "What is it Cheat?" Homestar asked.  
  
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEHAMEEEMMEEAHH!!" (THE EMPIRE IS HERE! FOLLOW ME!) The Cheat replied, as he lead Homestar up the stairs to the top of the tower.  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Outside, Imperial Troops accompany the Children/Arrowed guy.  
  
"Grrrr! Stupid freaking King of Town's orders! Bubs! Why did you have a Concession Castle in the middle of a desert of nowhere?!? Now I have sand all over my boots! clean them off you loonies!" He said.  
  
"Yes sir!" They said, as they wiped the sand off his shoes.  
  
"HAHAHA! That's better you idiots! Lets head towards that Concession Castle! I know that Homestar Runner is here!"  
  
Back at the Concession Castle, Bubs is alerted.  
  
"King Bubs! There's someone from the Empire who wants to meet you!" One of the Concession guards said.  
  
"It's probably that Children/Arrowed Guy!" Bubs replied, "What does he want?"  
  
Before Bubs knew it, Children/Arrowed guy stormed in with his cronies.  
  
"So, how can I help you Children/Arrowed Guy?" Bubs asked.  
  
"Well, some sort of weird creature thing with a hat with a propeller on it recently escaped from us," Children/Arrowed guy replied.  
  
"Uh, this wouldn't happen to involve around that armless wizard we've seen recently and that everyone is chatting on about is it?"  
  
"All lies! He merely has something of ours that is of maximum value, an uh, a Serious Bomb!"  
  
"Sorry. Haven't seen any of the person you see, and we're fresh out of Serious Bombs! Remind me to order more. By the way, you can try some of the other items we have here though."  
  
"No thanks. Hope that we don't find out that you're lying! You don't want anything bad to happen with your precious Concession Castle do you?"  
  
Strong Bad walked out when he saw the Children/Arrowed Guy leave with his cronies.  
  
"Oh man, I can't believe that guy from my comic 'Teen Girl Squad' is actually real! Too bad he's freaking after us!" Strong Bad said.  
  
"Strong Bad," Bubs replied, "We'd better rest up in the meantime. See you in the morning!"  
  
"Okay Bubs."  
  
Strong Bad returned back to his tower. The Cheat ensured that everything is now safe to Homestar Runner, and Homestar went back to sleep. The Cheat went back to the left tower and slept beside Strong Bad. Of course, Coach Z went to Homestar's room.  
  
"Oh there you are Homestar!" Coach Z said, "I need to talk to you."  
  
"Uh, what is it Coach?" Homestar Replied.  
  
"Well, you know that Children/Arrowed Guy is a big trouble maker! What a 'joerhb' we have to do in order to defeat that madman and the King of Town. Luckily they don't know we work for the Returners, and still think we're with the Empire. It's the perfect cover-up. Oh and lastly, there's been strange things going on in our own world. I don't know what it is, but I don't wanna know anyways."  
  
"Okay, but I seem to still be a soldier of that freaking Empire."  
  
"That's reediculous Homestar! They were just using you! Things will be much different now."  
  
"Uh, what am I going to do, Coach?"  
  
"Of course. You still have time to decide on your own. I cannot decide for you there. It's up to you to decide there whether or not you want to accept the 'Jorb'. I know you'll find your way, Homestar."  
  
"Uh, but I don't know whut to do..."  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Later that night though, at about approximately midnight, something happened. A panicking Concession Soldier ran to Bubs. "Bubs! something bad is going on!" He said.  
  
"What?" Bubs replied.  
  
Bubs ran outside to see parts of the castle in a blaze, and Children/Arrowed guy with some Imperial Soldiers with him. "Bring me Homestar Runner now, or risk getting Cerebellum'd!" Children/Arrowed guy tells Bubs.  
  
"I don't even know what the hell you're talking about there!" Bubs replied.  
  
"Well then, if you refuse to give Homestar Runner back to the Empire, then welcome to my barbecue Bubs!" Children/Arrowed guy laughed maniacly. "I'll Cerebellum you when the whole place is burnt up!"  
  
"Well, I guess I have no choice!" Bubs said, but he looked at the top of the right tower and saw Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Coach Z ready to jump. Bubs then said, "Well actually I do. You guards get ready!"  
  
Bubs ran down through the door and reappeared on the roof with the others.  
  
"Okay now," Coach Z said, "Everyone jump now!"  
  
Everyone jumped down, and landed onto some Chocobos, and fleed the scene.  
  
"That's mature," Children/Arrowed Guy snickered, "Abandon your own kingdom! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!"  
  
Just then, the Castle bundled itself up, and then it burrowed into the ground. Children/Arrowed Guy and his imperial troops, along with a couple of them in Magitek Armor, were all that's standing where Bubs' Concession Castle once stood. "That's it! I'm doing something about it! Arrowed!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted, as he spitted out tons of Arrows. These arrows missed, but one hit the butt of the Chocobo Strong Bad was riding.  
  
"Holy Crap! Whoa there stupid bird! Whoa!" Strong Bad yelled as he lost control of the Chocobo.  
  
"Oh geesh! Time for phase 2! Children!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted as he now drove a Children truck towards Bubs.  
  
"BUBS! LOOK OUT!" Coach Z warned him.  
  
Bubs got out of the way, as well as the others, and the Children/Arrowed guy crashed his Children truck against a large Antlion. "Oh poo. You infidels with the Magitek Armor, get those morons!!!" He shouted at them.  
  
The Imperial Troops now ran towards the group of five and attacked. "Oh you want to play rough don't you? I'll give you rough!" Strong Bad shouted.  
  
Strong Bad punched the Magitek Armor, but couldn't damage it. "Oh, Crap! Those things are freaking invincible!"  
  
Homestar Runner decided to send off a Fire spell on one of the Magitek Armors, lighting it on fire and causing the rider to burn in it.  
  
"Holy creepin' Chorps! Did Homestar use magic?" Coach Z shouted.  
  
"My goodness!" Bubs added, "There seems to be more to Homestar than meets the eye and personality now!"  
  
"I knew that already," Strong Bad replied, "He like used it in Cheatshe to get me and The Cheat out of a dire situation before."  
  
"Where'd you learn that Homestar?" Bubs asked.  
  
"Uh, I didn't mean to use it. I was just saving Stong Bad from getting brutally scratched by one of those impossible to control vehicle things!"  
  
"Hey don't get yourself down there, Homestar!" Coach Z replied, "You're the only one so far who can use magic and we can't even use magic worth crap for brains!"  
  
"Hey Coach Z! 'Crap for Brains' is one of my lines!" Strong Bad shouted.  
  
"Meeehmeeammeehhheemmeeeah!" (Stop chatting and lets face these freaks!) The Cheat reminded them.  
  
"Okay then, The Cheat," Strong Bad replied, "Lets get those freaking morons!"  
  
The Cheat used a new Cheat called the 'Meat Seeker', which happens to be identical to the one found in the game 'PO'ed'. The other Magitek Armor took heavy damage, and was critical. Of course, the rider manage to get off a Fire Beam on The Cheat, causing his head to implode (Like he did in 'The House that Gave Sucky Treats' and the Strong Bad email where he types in an exe involving Homestar's head being exploded). The Magitek Armor then swatted Strong Bad away and used Ice Beam on Coach Z, encasing him in ice. "That absolutely does it! Time to use one of these tools I have up my sleeve!" Bubs said, being mad as hell now.  
  
Bubs whipped out a Drill, and jumped towards the Magitek Armor and drilled into it like there's no tomorrow. The Imperial Soldier riding it could not get out, and couldn't do anything about it. It was damaged to the point now where it could not take anymore pressure, and it exploded in Bubs' face, sending him flying backwards. Homestar was shocked at the sight. "Oh man, that was the most noblest thing to do Bubs. Here, let me heal all of yous, because I just learned how to do it." Homestar said to Bubs.  
  
And with a couple of simple cure spells, everyone was back to normal. The Cheat's head is no longer charred and sticking up, and Coach Z is no longer a popsicle. Strong Bad got up. "Ow. Stupid, freaking Soldiers!" He said.  
  
"Well, lets get going to the Returners' hideout, and meet the leader of that team, The Blacksmith." Bubs reminds everyone.  
  
"No way! I thought the Blacksmith was gone for good since quitting from the King of Town after that lame incident with the King's sheep missing!" Strong Bad replied.  
  
"Yep. He's still around our world, but doing better things than being a Blacksmith for the King of Town. Now, let's ride to cave Concession and proceed to South Concession, then through the mountains to the Returners hideout!"  
  
And so, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Bubs got back on the backs of their Chocobos, and continued riding. Meanwhile, the Children/Arrowed guy managed to get out of the sand. "We'll meet again, Homestar Runner, and the next time we battle, you won't be so lucky!"  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
What's Children/Arrowed guy up to? Will Homestar be with the Returners? How will Strong Bad answer his emails now that the Concession Castle burrowed under the sand? Find out answers to those and other questions in the next chapter, where they're actually getting on their way to the Returners' hideout!  
  
------------------------------------- 


	3. Correct but 'Dangeresque' path

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Squaresoft, or rather Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
(Author Note: Yeah I know it's not possible to get Drill early in FF6, but I really needed to have it used early, but of course, in the next chapter, the current drill will kick the bucket.)  
  
Chapter 3: Correct but 'Dangeresque' path to the Hideout  
  
(Away from the Desert)  
  
Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, and Bubs continued riding their Chocobos towards the way to the Concession Cave. Homestar asked a question along the way.  
  
"Uh Bubs?" Homestar asked, "What wus that thing that you used on the freaking robot?"  
  
"Oh this?" Bubs replied, "It's a Drill, and unfortunately the last one in stock."  
  
Of course, the drill broke to pieces. "Oh man! And it was pass the warranty!"  
  
"Oh Crap!" Strong Bad said, "What was the warranty?"  
  
"6 months after firing it up. After the warranty expires, the moving parts break. Oh man, I'm gonna have to get a replacement Drill as soon as my Concession Castle rises back up, and when it orders a whole bunch more!"  
  
After the small discussion, the five arrived at the Cave of Concession. They got off the Chocobos and waved goodbye to them, as they ran off. Coach Z took a look inside first, then jumped out. "It's so dark in there!" Coach Z said, "How are we going to go through this 'plaerce', er I mean place?"  
  
"Uh, Coach Z, it's not really that dark in there," Strong Bad replied, "It's just the entrance that's dark. the rest of the place seems pretty bright."  
  
"Oh, I guess I deed not go further. Oh well. Lets get going, boys!"  
  
The five then entered the cave. It started dark, but surprisingly, it was pretty bright here. Torches were on the walls. Ahead, there was a spring, and a turtle inside. Across was an opening, but of course, it was too far a distance and would be too risky to get everyone to jump across, so they just ignored the spring for now and continued on through the passage to the right of the spring. They continued through the complex cavern, but of course it was full of monsters. Strong Bad noticed the hives on the ceilings. "Oh crap," Strong Bad said, "There's Hornet nests in this place! Since when do caves have freaking Hornet Nests?!?"  
  
Of course, this only woke the Hornets inside, and then Crawlys came out as well. "Oh man!" Strong Bad shouted, "We're so in freaking trouble!"  
  
The hornets went charging towards Strong Bad. He blocked their stingers with his boxing gloves and squashed the hornets with them. A Crawly managed to use some sort of goo which caused Strong Bad to have a heartburn. "Oooooh man, I need an Antacid," Strong Bad said in pain.  
  
Homestar bashed some of the Crawlies with his baseball bat, while The Cheat used the 'Meat Seeker' Cheat on the rest of the Crawlies, annihilating them. More hornets came out, which Bubs impaled with a couple of lucky Autocrossbow bolt shots. The bugs were annihilated, but more Hornets came flying out of their hives and chased the five. "Agh! Get theser Hornyets away from me!" Coach Z shouted as he ran away from the Hornets with the others.  
  
They were lead through the many twists in the cave, running into some small critter-like furry things called Blearies. With the Hornets still after them, the five ignore the critters altogether, and make a run for the exit. Unfortunately, it is blocked off by some more Crawlies. "Oh man, dis does not look good for any of us," Homestar said.  
  
"Well, I hate to use this, but there seems to be no other way out," Bubs said, as he pulled out the Bio blaster. Bubs shot out plenty of toxins into the air, causing the Hornets to choke in it, as well as some of the unlucky Blearies who got in. Homestar Runner casted Fire on the offending Crawlies blocking the exit for the cave. The Hornets still spawned. "Oh man! There's too many of them!" Coach Z shouted out, "They seem very determined to destroy us!"  
  
Everyone ran out through the exit. Surprisingly, the Hornets did not bother flying after them outside, because those hornets did not like the sunlight. "Oh man, that's the worst place I've been to," Homestar said.  
  
"That's because the freaking cave is full of dangerous critters, Homestar!" Strong Bad replied, "Now cut it with your remarks!"  
  
"Meeeehmmeeeeameeeeneeeehmeeeah" (I wonder if that Children/Arrowed Guy has quit...) The Cheat asked.  
  
"Well, I don't know The Cheat," Bubs replied, "But from what has happened, I doubt it. They're probably going to take over Concession much later."  
  
Meanwhile, at Vertex...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Children/Arrowed Guy was really nervous, failing to get Homestar Runner from the others. "What's the King of Town gonna say when he finds out that I failed to get that Homestar Runner?" He said to himself.  
  
Children/Arrowed Guy walked to the castle, and saw the King of Town, along with Marzipan and two Imperial Soldiers. "So, did you manage to get Homestar Runner back here?" The King of Town asked.  
  
"Couldn't even do it worth anything!" Children/Arrowed Guy replied, "And all thanks to the traitor King Bubs, and those idiots Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Coach Z!"  
  
"Well, I'd discipline you, but food is more important to me than punishing you, so you get a second chance at getting Homestar Runner. Otherwise, don't come back here! By the way, Concession will be invaded soon and Marzipan will be taken there for imprisonment, then annihilated!"  
  
"How could you do this to me?" Marzipan asked, "I'm your daughter, remember?"  
  
"Still, you're a traitor!" The King of Town replied, "And I'd go out of my way to annihilate you, but all I'm thinking about right now is a fifty-course meal!"  
  
And with that, the King of Town left the room, leaving the Children/Arrowed Guy and the others inside. "Lets square off at the lands around Castle Pomo. There's an Imperial Base nearby. You guards with Marzipan go to South Concession as soon as we're notified that the members of the Returners are not there, and make sure Marzipan is brought there too!" Children/Arrowed Guy ordered.  
  
Marzipan was then carried away, out of the throne room. Children/Arrowed guy snickered. "You're gonna fail in no time, Returners! Not even Homestar Runner will be of much help! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"  
  
Now, back at South Concession...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Homestar Runner and the others arrived at the town of South Concession. This place was pretty big. "We should arm ourselves for the next length of our trip towards the Returners Hideout. Mt. Koltz can be a dangerous place!" Bubs tells the others, "Lets head for the Weapons and Armor shops. We should be able to get ready."  
  
Homestar stuck to his own baseball bat, as it was already powerful enough. Strong Bad got his hand on a Mithril Blade, while Bubs got a RegalCutless and the Cheat went with the Mithril Blade like Strong Bad did, seeing as there are no spears or lances available, and that it was incredibly heavy for him. Coach Z got his hands on a Regalcutless like Bubs did, though he needed to use both hands to hold it. Next, they went to the Armory shop. Everyone except the Cheat got Plumed Hats and Heavy Shields, because the Cheat decided to go with a hair band and a buckler, because it's difficult enough trying to lug around a Mithril Blade and will take a while. Of course, Strong Bad had to get a Kung Fu Suit for himself, because they looked cool in his opinion. Now, they were all ready. "Hey, wait a minute!" Strong Bad said, "What about the freaking Relics? We can't just go without Relics! We could get sick or something if we don't have the appropriate relics!"  
  
So, everyone goes to the Relics shop next. Homestar picks the Star Pendant and Sprint Shoes, The Cheat takes Goggles and a Star Pendant as well, Strong Bad gets Star Pendant and True Knight, Coach Z takes Goggles and Sprint Shoes, and finally Bubs takes Jewel Ring and Goggles.  
  
"Well, that's done. Lets go to the Cafe and get some Cold ones and rest up before we get going," Bubs said.  
  
The five went to the cafeteria that was near the end of the town. They enter the cafe, and of course, they find Homeschool Winner and that creature that's a mix between a cow and a helicopter (See Strong Bad Email 74 'Crazy Cartoon' if you don't know what it looks like). "Hey Homeschewl Winnar!" Homestar called out.  
  
Homeschool turned around. "Hey there, guys," Homeschool replied, "Sorry, but I'm doing business, but it ain't anything that's related to death and destruction. Besides, I'm not ready for doing it yet. It's a shame we ended up here because of a cursed copy of...."  
  
"Yeah we know," Strong Bad interrupted, "Of the Final Fantasy Anthology. I did not even think what I was doing playing it. Oh crap! What months have passed by since being thrown into this world!"  
  
"Well, we'll meet any of yous later, because me and this funny creature that sounds like a helicopter are off to do business. See you later!"  
  
And so, Homeschool Winner went off to his way. "Well, I guess Homeschool's not joining us immediately," Bubs said, "If he has work to do, then I guess we better keep him working then."  
  
After the discussion, Homestar, Strong Bad, Coach Z, The Cheat, and Bubs went to the table. Who else was the person at the bar than Thomas. "No way! It can't be!" Strong Bad said.  
  
"Yes, it is me, Thomas. I appeared in Teen Girl Squad issue 2 and I used a bat on 'What's Her Face'. I enjoyed doing that." Thomas responded, "So, cold ones you want?"  
  
"Yep." Bubs replied.  
  
"Okay! Cold ones coming right up!"  
  
And with that, Thomas rushed. A distance away, a 'Bap! Bap! Bap! Bap! Bap!' could be heard outside. Apprantly someone tried making off with a package of cold ones. Thomas returned with the Cold ones and handed one to each of the five. "So, where are you five going?" Thomas asked.  
  
"Uh, we're heading off through Mt. Kolts." Strong Bad replied.  
  
"Oh, I see. You know, Duncan and his disciples have went off in the mountains, and I think I sighted Stinkoman making his way there too."  
  
"Okay, and anything else?" Strong Bad asked, as he drinks his cold one.  
  
"The place is rumored to be dangerous, with there being plants capable of poisoning travellers and stuff, and vicious mammoth beasts there as well. I'd be careful when you go through Mt. Kolts if I were you. You should head for the items shop and stock up on goods there."  
  
"Oh man," Homestar said, "Plants that actually poison people like us? Sounds like it's pwetty dangeresque!"  
  
"Indeed Homestar," Thomas responded.  
  
Soon the five were done with their cold ones. "Oh man. It's like 1:00 am in the morning and I haven't slept well since that Children/Arrowed Guy wrecked our sleep," Strong Bad said. I'm heading to the Inn and crashing in."  
  
And after the others waved their goodbyes to Thomas, the five went off to the inn. The price was pretty decent. The five got into bed, but of course The Cheat slept in the same bed with Strong Bad, and they all went to sleep. Homestar hasn't had another dream of what happened in the previous months being stuck in the World of Balance.  
  
Speaking of which...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Back at Vertex, one of the Imperial Soldiers went to see the Children/Arrowed Guy. "Sir, it appears our opposition has crashed for the night," He said.  
  
"No worry," Children/Arrowed Guy responded, "Those punks will leave when the sun rises and then the invasion on Concession will begin. If they still won't leave for the rest of the week, we'll destroy them ourselves! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"  
  
Marzipan, who is tied to the chair nearby, was angered. "You're not getting away with this," Marzipan said, "Homestar Runner and the others will simply beat you!"  
  
"Ha! What makes you think that, Marzipan?"  
  
"Because if Homestar could take down all those Magitek Armors in 30 seconds, he could mutilate you in 10 seconds!"  
  
"Oh, smart talk aren't we? Well you'll be doomed tomorrow when we invade! You shall die a painful death, you traitorous General!"  
  
Marzipan's eyes went baggy, and now she became frightened. She knew there wasn't enough time to live, unless she was rescued somehow.  
  
It's now morning at South Concession...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Homestar and the gang finished breakfast at the Cafe and were on their way. They stopped off at the item shop, and picked up Phoenix Downs, Antidotes, Tonics, Potions, and even Melonade for Homestar (Yeah I know FF6 does not have Melonade). "Uh, How about we ride dose cool birdies again?" Homestar said.  
  
"Okay Homestar," Bubs replied, "Besides, it's the faster, safer, and more convenient way to get where we need to go. But first, we should investigate a house that's far away from here. There seems to be some items of importance there."  
  
"Okay."  
  
The five go to the Chocobo stable and rent Chocobos, and the five ride off from the town. They ride towards the lone house and decide to check it out. It was bare alright, and it seemed like someone lived here. Homestar noticed there was a portrait of Stinkoman on the wall. "Uh, who is dat guy?" Homestar asked.  
  
Bubs looked at the portrait. "Why that's Stinkoman," Bubs replied, "The town's greatest fighter if there ever was one. It's a shame he doesn't want to join."  
  
Strong Bad looked outside and used some binoculars he had available since day 1 with the Returners. "Uh-oh." Strong Bad said, "It seems those Imperial losers are already invading South Concession, and there's some that are ready to come our way!"  
  
Coach Z looked outside, "You're correct, Strong Bad. They must be doing such a 'jorearb' doing so, and I think I saw Marzipan!" Coach Z said.  
  
Strong Bad then changed the view of the binoculars, and saw Marzipan entering the town. "Oh man, Marzipan must have fallen to the Empire!" He said.  
  
"Well, whoever it is," Bubs replied, "We should concentrate on getting to the Returners' hideout."  
  
And so, after finding some necessary items inside, the five leave the house. Unfortunately, they had to get off the Chocobos, which unfortunately ran back to the pen, and since the town is now invaded, it would be risky to go back there, so they decided to walk the rest of the way to Mt. Kolts. Of course, they had to deal with some sort of Were-Rhinocerous things and other enemies which the five did not want to know about. They did not know what these creatures were called, because they haven't went this far in their few months of doing nothing and stuff. They continued running running towards the entrance to Mt. Kolts. Finally, Homestar decided to stop and attack the Were-Rhino, which he found out it was called a Rhinotaur. Homestar attacked with his baseball bat, and hit the Rhinotaur's head. Strong Bad pulled out his Mithril Blade and whacked the Rhinotaur, destroying it. The other creatures, like the beakers, were easily defeated with the flamethrower Cheat which The Cheat used, lighting the beakers on fire and getting the stray cats caught within the fire as well. The enemies were finally destroyed completely. They were now at the mouth of the cave leading to Mt. Kolts. The cave they started in was really bright and stuff, and did not need torches. Of course, it isn't without it's share of monsters and stuff. Brawlers came jumping down and knocked Strong Bad and Coach Z down, and proceeded to attack Homestar Runner.  
  
"Oh crap," Strong Bad said as he got off the ground, "More freaking morons who want to destroy us!"  
  
Strong Bad ran towards one of the Brawlers and slashed at it from behind, causing severe damage to it. Bubs used the Auto-Crossbow to eliminate some of the Brawlers, and Homestar batted the Brawler which Strong Bad injured, destroying it. Of course, some more mammoth creatures like the ones Homestar found in Cheatshe charged after them, but their fur was much darker and more difficult to defeat. A wave of Meatseeker shots from The Cheat did very little damage, but decided to attempt to whack one with his Mithril Blade. It was hard to swing, but he managed to get that critter with an overhead slice, destroying it. Bubs defeated the other one with his RegalCutless. "Well, that's the last of those Tuskers or whatever they are," Bubs said.  
  
Coach Z got up, and of course is all dazed. "Holy freaking chorps! What happened?" Coach Z asked.  
  
"Meeeehmeeaheeemeehaaheem!" (Monsters and Humans of course,) The Cheat replied.  
  
"Oh geesh! Those must be thi most unfriendly humans, but great 'jaerb' all of yous for getting rid of them."  
  
"Oh man," Strong Bad said, "Coach Z's incredibly weird accent is so freaking annoying, but not as annoying as Homestar!"  
  
They then continued through and left through an opening. They were still on the mountain, but this time they were outside, and could see that the mountain went up into the clouds. They continued around the bend and entered another part of the caves. These caves still had the nasty monsters in it, and more brawlers. The brawlers ran towards the five, but they were 'arrowed' by Bubs' Auto-Crossbow and got annihilated. More brawlers and also tuskers were onto the five as well, and this time, Bubs got overwhelmed by the brawlers and was seeing stars. Strong Bad went after one of the Tusker and fought it, and managed to defeat it by attacking it from behind. Homestar bats the Brawlers and one got batted so far that it fell down to it's death. The Cheat uses a cave-in cheat and squishes the other Brawlers, but accidently getting Bubs caught in the boulders as well. Bubs climbed out of these Boulders. "Watch where you use your cheats there, The Cheat!" Bubs shouted.  
  
Bubs had a potion and then the five were then back on their way again. They maneuvered past the bridge, which looked old enough and was just about ready to collapse. The five manage to get across without problems, and continued on. They were now higher up. Homestar noticed the shadow of someone going around the mountain. They were about to follow the mysterious figure when they were ambushed by some weird plant things. Bubs did not know the name of them and was the first sighting of them. The plants attacked with an arm and hit Coach Z, and of course his skin changed to a very sickening purple colour. "Oh man, I don't feel so gooord!" Coach Z complained.  
  
"Ack! You've been poisoned!" Bubs replied, "These plants have the ability to poison!"  
  
"Oh man," Homestar said, "I'm so burnin those fweakin plants!"  
  
Homestar Runner casted fire on sets of plants, and The Cheat joined in by using the flamethrower cheat, and managed to engulf a set of the vicious plants in flames. The ones Homestar is still facing attempted to swipe at him with their poisonous barbs, but missed again. Homestar then finished them off with a final blast of fire, toasting them to death. They were finally defeated, but of course Coach Z had to be given an antidote before they could go on. Coach Z took the antidote and was no longer poisoned. The five continued around the twist, and were now in the clouds. There was a bridge that lead across to the other side, and that mysterious figure jumped from it. As the five crossed the bridge, they were ambushed by tuskers and more of the evil plants. Bubs Auto-Crossbowed the enemies, but managed to survive. Strong Bad beats the crap out of a Tusker and ends up knocking it off the cliff. The Cheat chops up the plants with the Mithril Knife, though pretty slowly, and he got attacked by them anyways. Coach Z uses the RegalCutless on the remaining plants and lone Tusker, and the enemies were now cleared. The five then continue along the bridge until they reach another cave. Inside there seemed to be a spot where they could rest up. "Uh, I think this tent will definately do nicely here." Homestar said.  
  
Strong Bad looked at the tent. "Hey, where'd you get that?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"Oh, well I decided to get da tent while we were back at the item shop," Homestar replied.  
  
The tent was set up. This tent was actually a decent size, and everyone had a snooze in it. Of course, one of them would have a dream of what happened in the past, and that one would be Bubs.  
  
=======================================  
  
Bubs got up. He had been laying in the sun unconsious for several minutes after being sucked into the vortex. "Oh, what's happened?" He said.  
  
Bubs looked around, but all he could see was miles and miles of desert. "Oh this is just great. I'm stuck in this desert and no clue of where I am."  
  
It seemed obvious that there wasn't an explanation for this. This desert was really empty. Of course, the next thing Bubs noticed is a certain someone that he doesn't want to have anything to do with. This being was a shorter than Homestar, and wore a hat, and obviously, the shirt read 'homsar'. "Oh geesh! You again?!?" Bubs said to Homsar.  
  
"DDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH, I just been krafted, and I can't find my Jenga Jam!" Homsar uttered.  
  
"Don't you talk to me," Bubs replied.  
  
"IIIIIIIIIIIII do wwwwwwhhaat I'mmmm toeld!"  
  
And with that, Homsar went off, with the sound that's made when Homsar moves around. Soon it got quieter and quieter, and soon it was all quiet again. Really quiet. That is until somebody was behind him and tapped on him.  
  
"Hey I thought I told you to go... Oh Hi Coach Z. Sorry about that. I thought you were Homsar!"  
  
"Oh, no biggie," Coach Z replied, "Thees desert is huuuge, but of course we aren't entirely lost! I just located a castle with plenty of riches! It's now abandoned but whoever used to be there forgot their riches of theirs!"  
  
"Wow! Show me this place Coach!" Bubs asked.  
  
"Oh, why just follow me and we'll be there. Besides, there doesn't seem to be much around this desert is there?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
The two keep moving, following the footsteps made by Coach Z in the sand, and soon they arrived at the castle. "You know, this will make a pretty dandy Concession Castle." Bubs said.  
  
So, Bubs and Coach Z remained there.  
  
=======================================  
  
Bubs was still dreaming the same thing. Of course, Strong Bad ended up having a dream of when he landed into the World of Balance...  
  
=======================================  
  
Strong Bad was thrown really hard against the ground. "Ow, my head," Strong Bad groaned, "Where have I landed?"  
  
Strong Bad looked around. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary, other than being in some sort of weird town. He took a look around, and apparantly he landed into a town. He looked to see what the town's name was: It was called Kool Sweet Cuppin' Cakes. "Oh man, now this is one sweet town." He said.  
  
Strong Bad continued to tour this town he landed in. There were mostly normal people, but soon he realized that some of the characters from his crazy cartoon, 'Sweet Cuppin Cakes', are roaming around. The creature crossed between a cow and a helicopter, a talking wheelchair, and a duplicate of Strong Bad with an old keyboard for a head instead of Strong Bad's. The talking wheelchair noticed Strong Bad and went wheeling towards him. He collided into Strong Bad. "Long time no see!" The Wheelchair said, "I thought I'd never see you again!"  
  
"Hello," Strong Bad replied, "So, where's Eh! Steve?"  
  
"That Eh! Steve has vanished, and I'm too bored to do anything! My purpose is to relentlessly hunt Eh! Steve down every day, but I can't seem to find him anywhere here."  
  
Strong Bad was confused. "So Eh! Steve isn't here? That's weird."  
  
"Yeah it is weird. The current members of the Sweet Cuppin Cakes gang are here, and some say that Eh! Steve ended up in some place called Thamasa, but it has yet to be confirmed."  
  
Strong Bad then noticed a woman walking beside someone with a big grey body. Strong Bad quickly recognized the lather. "Uh, who is that young woman walking with Strong Sad?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"Oh that's Rachel," The talking Wheelchair replied, "And of course Strong Sad is with her ever since he collapsed into her house. It's pretty ridiculous if you ask me."  
  
Of course, Strong Sad stopped and told Rachel that he will be right back. This gave the chance for Strong Bad to meet her. Rachel looked at Strong Bad. "Uh, who are you?" She asked.  
  
"Excuse me, but I'm Strong Bad," Strong Bad replied, "Why were you with Strong Sad anyways?"  
  
"How do you know Strong Sad?  
  
"Because he's my brother and I don't like him!"  
  
"Well, I guess I sort of feel the same way too. He tells depressing stuff all the time."  
  
"Yeah. He absolutely ruined one of the Halloween parties back in my world 3 years ago!"  
  
"You and Strong Sad came from another world?"  
  
"Yeah. I can't quite remember how we ended up here, but somehow it involved some glowing CD-ROMs, a Vortex coming out of a television, and stuff."  
  
Strong Sad came out and saw Strong Bad talking with Rachel. "Strong Bad?" Strong Sad said.  
  
"We weren't talking about you, really," Strong Bad replied, "Like what are you doing here anyways?"  
  
"Geez I don't know. I've been walking with Rachel, and for another thing, I have to repair the house she lives in as well."  
  
"Okay. The sooner you fix the house, the later you can get going!"  
  
Rachel was a little confused. "Um, can we settle it elsewhere? Lets all go back to my place and talk over this," She said to Strong Bad and Strong Sad.  
  
"Okay then," Strong Bad replied.  
  
Of course, he was interrupted by a certain someone. "Stwong Bah wake up!" Homestar yelled.  
  
"Shut up Homestar!" Strong Bad yelled back, "Can't you see I'm having a conversation with Rachel here?"  
  
"Stong Bad!" Homestar replied, "Wake up because we've got bigger pwoblems in real life over here."  
  
"I'm warning you Homestar! Interrupt me one more time and I'll..."  
  
=======================================  
  
Of course, Strong Bad's dream has been cut off by Tuskers which tore the tent apart. Strong Bad got up and immediately struck one of the offending Tuskers in the head with his Mithril Blade, destroying it instantly. Bubs force-feeds poisonous gas from his Bio Blaster into another Tusker's mouth, causing it to unable to gasp for air and then die instantly. Next up are some more brawlers which are going Coach Z a hard time, as he struck one with the RegalCutless but got knocked back by another. Homestar attacks with his baseball bat and wacks the other Brawlers. Bubs uses the Autocrossbow on the rest of the Brawlers, annihilating them. After the enemies were defeated, the five ran out of the cave through the other exit and then saw a path leading down to another cave, and the shadowy figure at the bottom. Of course, for some strange reason, there's another Compy 386 to the left of the mountain wall on the path to the bottom of the mountain.  
  
"Oh man," Strong Bad said, "How can Computers work on this mountain?"  
  
Strong Bad didn't get an answer, but the question was rhetorical anyways. He decided to check his email, by typing in 'strongbad_email.exe'  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
Dear Strong Bad,  
  
Why isn't Trogdor around? I know of a place he could Burninate! Perhaps the Empire! I'd do it myself, but I already whupped Kefka's butt and I don't wanna have a thing to do with it. Besides, I can't use magic anymore.  
  
From, uh,  
  
Terrfsjkflaekj;aj;ljf;lsajf;lj;slj  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
"What the?!? It's must be Fhqwhgads' evil sister!" Strong Bad shouted.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
Look here, uh, Fhqwhgads evil sister, I don't do things for others. Sibbie already gave me problems, and I blame The Cheat for letting it happen. Well, I guess I could send Trogdor to destroy the Empire, but I really don't know where he is now or something. Where could that Burninator be anyways?  
  
From Strong Bad  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
"MEEEEEEE! MEEEEAHEEEEEEEEMEEAHHMMEEEHAAAMEEH?" (Strong Bad! Why did you have to tell that to her?) The Cheat said.  
  
"Listen The Cheat," Strong Bad replied, "If you didn't like make that song about Sibbie which I didn't make, it wouldn't happen alright? Now lets get going!"  
  
As Strong Bad said it, he lost his balance and fell a long way, and crashing into the ground below. "Owwww," Strong Bad groaned in pain, "My whole body hurts!"  
  
The others rushed down to the bottom to Strong Bad's level. They were definately near the entrance now, but of course Strong Bad was pretty bruised up. The Cheat took a potion and administered it to Strong Bad, and he was fixed quickly. Then, when they get closer, they get backed up by a man. He then jumps onto a rock and lands on Homestar Runner, knocking him down.  
  
"Ow! Whut wuz da meaning of that?" Homestar asked.  
  
"Stinkoman sent you right?" The strange man said.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"Stinkoman? Is he around here?" Bubs asked.  
  
"You've freaking been shadowing us earlier, weren't you?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"Brilliant, but how unlucky you have met up with me, Vargas!" Vargas replied.  
  
"Well, you certainly did a great 'Jorb' accomplishing that, 'Vorgash'," Coach Z said.  
  
"I'll make you respect me!" Vargas replied to Coach Z, "I'll make all of you respect me! You'll all be annihilated be me!"  
  
Vargas then charged towards Coach Z and sent him flying. Homestar Runner was about to get Vargas from behind but got caught between some Ipoohs. "This does not look good for Homestar Runner," He said.  
  
The Cheat pulled off the flamethrower cheat to save Homestar from getting clawed to death, igniting both Ipoohs in flames. Meanwhile, Vargas was still beating the crap out of Coach Z and Strong Bad. Homestar proceeded to hit Vargas, but of course he wasn't stupid. He grabbed the bat and threw it back at Homestar, knocking him back. "Ow!" Homestar reacted, "That's it! This means war!"  
  
Homestar Runner jumped up and casted fire on Vargas, getting him good. The Cheat then joined in by using his 'meat cleaver cheat', then followed up with the meatseeker cheat. Homestar then proceeded to beat the crap out of Vargas for revenge, then kick him far away. Strong Bad then showed that he meant business and fought Vargas and blocked all of his attacks with his Boxing gloves, then pounded Vargas right in the chest. Strong Bad thought that Vargas was done for, but he got up.  
  
"ENOUGH!" Vargas shouted, "Off with ya now!"  
  
From a distance, he could hear the familiar voice. From the sky came Stinkoman. He landed in front of Homestar, Strong Bad, the Cheat, Bubs, and Coach Z. "Give it up Vargas!" Stinkoman said, "You haven't gotten the fighting skills that I have!"  
  
"Hey, is that you Stinkoman?" Vargas replied.  
  
"Vargas, why did you do such a thing? Why did you do in your own father like that?!?"  
  
"You fool! He made the mistake of choosing you as his own successor! He snubbed me, his only son!"  
  
"No way! You were the one he chose! I'm too busy fighting other things to have time being a successor!"  
  
"You're a liar!"  
  
"Like seriously! Our master wanted you to be the successor, not me! The reason being that I was too good for him to train! Like, he appreciated your fine spirit to begin with!"  
  
"Enough of your freaking lies!"  
  
"Whoa," Strong Bad commented, "Vargas is starting to talk like me now!"  
  
"Shut up, Von Doom!" Vargas shouted back at Strong Bad.  
  
"Like Seriously, Stwong Bah has a point there," Homestar added.  
  
"Enough all you! Have a taste of my superior technique!" Vargas shouted, "Blizzard Fist!"  
  
And with that, an extremely cold gust of wind came in and blew Homestar, Strong Bad, the Cheat, Bubs, and Coach Z away and into the cave. Stinkoman was able to stay in the field without problems.  
  
"So, I guess the master has teached you well," Vargas said, "But that was just beginner's luck!"  
  
"ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE?!?" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"Yeah, and that's because fate has made us train together," Vargas replied.  
  
Well, that did it. Stinkoman charged forward and gave Vargas a whallop, sending him flying high. Of course, Vargas had other plans for him. He unleashed an attack which caused Stinkoman to be condemned. Stinkoman knew he would have to work quickly to defeat Vargas before he bites the dust. Stinkoman gets pounded from behind, and knocked around. "Phew! I tire of this!" Vargas shouted. Stinkoman hits Vargas again but gets hit back.  
  
"Come on! What's the matter?" Vargas taunted again.  
  
Stinkoman then thought to himself. 'He's giving me the creeps. I must use one of master Duncan's techniques and also one of my own as well. Maybe I should pummel him, then use my Grand Flash attack on him! That's what I'll do!' Now Stinkoman decided to taunt Vargas! "Hey! Come and get me you so-called fighter!" Stinkoman said.  
  
Vargas charged towards and attempted a hit, but Stinkoman dodged, then used Pummel on him from behind. "W... What the? The master taught you that?!?" Vargas commented.  
  
"Yeah, and that was only if you weren't in such a rush for power," Stinkoman replied, "Now to finish you off! DDOOOOOOUUUUUBBBBBBLLLLLEEEE DDDEEEEEEEUUUUUUUCCCCCCEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
Stinkoman leaped into the air, and charged up immense amounts of energy and then striked Vargas with all the energy that came out. Everything was covered. When the lights vanished and the dust cleared, Vargas was laying there, dazed, defeated, and seeing stars. "Owww, I'm in so much pain..." Vargas groaned in pain, "I've been annihilated..."  
  
Vargas then let his head drop and he didn't respond anymore. He was now defeated, for good.  
  
"Oh man, Stinkoman," Strong Bad said, "That was freaking amazing!"  
  
"Hello again Stinkoman," Bubs said.  
  
"Uh, why does Stinkoman look much like a robot?" Homestar commented.  
  
"Robot?" Stinkoman replied, "Me look like a robot? I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
"I've been watching from far you know. I thought what Bubs said about the Empire being evil was just a fake. Now I know they're actually evil. South Concession is totally taken over, not to mention there will be bigger problems if we don't stop it immediately!"  
  
"The Empire is surely gonna pay for what they've done!" Bubs replied, "We'll crush them good!"  
  
"Hey, how about letting a powerful 'robot' like myself along with you?" Stinkoman said.  
  
"You're gonna join us now, Stinkoman?" Bubs replied.  
  
"Absolutely. For one thing, Duncan will sure to rest easy when he knew his disciple played a part in saving the world! Second, I'm the town's greatest fighter if there ever was one!"  
  
"Okay then, lets get going!" Strong Bad reminds them.  
  
As they walked through the last cave, then out by the entrance ahead, they all left Mt. Kolts. Of course, Stinkoman asks Homestar one question. "Hey, you remind me of someone I know of back in my own time? Do you think that you want to be the guy?" Stinkoman said.  
  
"Why wuld I think of that, Stinkoman? I never insisted on being teh guy to begin wit," Homestar replied.  
  
"Okay, but what is your name?"  
  
"My name is Homestar Runner."  
  
"That name sounds so dumb, but then again, it's better than being 'The Homestar Runner'. Of course, name doesn't make who you are. The Homestar Runner was really cool, because he had this wicked dance he uses when he accomplishes something!"  
  
"Oh, dat's pwetty exciting, Stinkoman. I'd like to know this 'The Homestar Runner' guy, if you know what I mean."  
  
"I still don't know what the heck those plant things were at Mt. Kolts," Bubs said.  
  
"You don't know what those plant things are? HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!! You don't know about them!" Stinkoman replied, "But seriously, they do have names. They are called Triliums! Also, I don't know where all the Cirpius went..."  
  
Back at Mt. Kolts...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
The Cirpius are in serious pain, because of Stinkoman. "Ow, that Stinkoman," One of the Cirpius said, "He's too tough for us to face. We're gonna have to forget about fighting. We'll be in peace from now on!"  
  
"Hey! I thought we couldn't speak at all!" Another Cirpius said.  
  
"Oh crap! I forgot! I'll shut up then!"  
  
Anyways, back outside Mt. Kolts and some kilometers or so from the Returners Hideout...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Our six brave heroes continued to march forward to the Returners Hideout, but that's another chapter...  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
As you can tell in the Strong Bad email, it was Terra Branford who sent it, but apparantly and somehow, it was typed in all weird letters. Perhaps the orphans did it, and of course, the emails Strong Bad receives could possibly foreshadow something, though I'm not gonna spoil it until I get there.  
  
Anyways, things will get quite hectic ahead for the cast of Homestar Runner, as they separate into teams and stuff. Next update will probably be later than usual, because it will be three chapters rather than just 1.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	4. Octotroubles and return to Cheatshe

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
Chapter 4: Octotroubles and return to Cheatshe  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
The Next three chapters will have the gang split into some groups, but all meet together with more of their friends. Well, you'll see what I mean in the next chapters...  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Coach Z, The Cheat, Bubs, and also Stinkoman have conquered the mountain that is Mt. Kolts, and are now heading to the entrance to the Returners' Hideout. They finally arrived there and got to the entrance. One of the members lead them to see the Blacksmith. "King Bubs! Right this way, please!" He said.  
  
They were then lead to the Blacksmith. Strong Bad was glad to see him. "Hey there, Blacksmith!" Strong Bad said, "Long time, no see!"  
  
"Nice to see you again Strong Bad," the Blacksmith replied, "Haven't seen you since 3 years ago!"  
  
"We've brought Homestar Runner with us," Bubs told the Blacksmith.  
  
"Is it the same Homestar Runner that can talk to Espers and the one who discovered that the King of Town was the one who got his own sheep missing?" The Blacksmith replied.  
  
"Uh, Espers?" Homestar asked, "What are Espers? And to that other point, yeah I found out that the King ate his own sheep, and thought that they were delicous."  
  
"Well, yeah. It seems like the Empire took advantage of him and got him to do their bidding and stuff, and perhaps bribing him to stuff." Bubs continued.  
  
"Carrier critters crossed between a cow and a helicopter have sent word that Homestar Runner has wiped out 50 of the Empire's best soldiers in under 30 seconds," The Blacksmith explained.  
  
"No way! That's all lies!" Homestar responded, "Like I have the ability to do all dat..."  
  
"Oops, I needed to add the fact that Homestar destroyed 50 of the Punting Dinos in 30 seconds as well," The Blacksmith added.  
  
"That's also fweakin' lies too!" Homestar shouted.  
  
"Hey, shut up Homestar!" Strong Bad told Homestar.  
  
"Blacksmith!" Bubs said, "Homestar Runner cannot remember a thing!"  
  
Homestar was about to leave, but the Blacksmith stopped him. "Stay where you are, Homestar!" He said.  
  
"Uh, whut do yew want to tell me?" Homestar replied.  
  
"Perhaps you heard of this story? Once, when there were people and beings that are pure and innocent, there was a box that they were told never to open. Unfortunately, someone went to open it anyway! He unleashed all the evils of the world: Envy, Greed, Violence, and Control. All that was left inside that box was a single ray of light: Hope."  
  
Homestar did not know what it meant at all. "Uh, I'm sorwy," Homestar said, "I don't really know what you are talking about."  
  
"We have to confront those evils," The Blacksmith continued, "and Homestar Runner, you are that last ray of light: Hope..."  
  
"Blacksmith!" Bubs shouted.  
  
The Blacksmith didn't know what to even say at all currently, and he was too tired to continue on. "I'm too tired right now," The Blacksmith said, "Let me rest for awhile okay?"  
  
And with that, the Blacksmith walked off. And of course, Homestar Runner was tired as well, and decided to go to one of the available rooms in the hideout. He found the room, then fell asleep...  
  
==============================================  
  
Homestar Runner and Marzipan were both locked up in the same cell. The door to their cell opened, and the Children/Arrowed Guy walked in. "What have we here?" Children/Arrowed Guy said, "Well, if it isn't Homestar Runner!"  
  
"Uh, whut does dat mean anyways, crapface?" Homestar replied.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy's face went red. "Nobody calls me a crapface and expects to get away with it!" He yelled as he grabbed Homestar by his shirt and tossed him back.  
  
"Stop abusing Homestar that way," Marzipan tells the Children/Arrowed Guy.  
  
"Your words mean nothing, General Marzipan," Children/Arrowed guy responded, "And your feeble attempts of escaping are no use! Face it! You cannot evade the Empire once you join it! You and Homestar Runner will be magic-users and will help us to take over the world!"  
  
Homestar Runner kicked the Children/Arrowed Guy and ran over him and then attempted to escape. Unfortunately, Imperial Soldiers with Magitek Armor are in his way, and many imperial soldiers are getting close. Homestar Runner ran elsewhere away from the Imperial Soldiers and into a room. He found an old Baseball bat lying around. It seems the others that got sucked into the Vortex had some of their precious equipment sucked in too. Homestar picked up the Baseball bat and darted out after the enemies. "You cwapfaces are dead now!" Homestar shouted as he hits the bat right into one of the Magitek Armors, knocking it back, and squishing many imperial troops. He continued batting the Magitek Armors and destroying more of the troops in the armors as well, and the great explosions from the Magitek Armors which fell on each other explode into a lot more. Homestar noticed an unused Magitek Armor and decided to try it out. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to work it one bit, and ended up blowing parts of Vertex up, but able to blast the rest of the Magitek Armors with lightning beams and they all exploded together. The Children/Arrowed Guy observed. "Unbelievable!" He said, "Homestar Runner has the gift of fighting! He'll be the key to winning the war, or better yet, rule the world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! But first, lets see if he's really worthy! Punting Dinos, get him!"  
  
Punting Dinos jumped from the top of Vertex and surrounded Homestar. Of course, Homestar Runner decides to bat away one Punting Dino, causing a chain reaction, annihilating more than half of the punting dinos within 5 seconds. Homestar then used Fire on more Punting Dinos and hitted some more Punting Dinos there. He was able to stop the rest of the viscious dinos. The Children/Arrowed guy grinned as he said, "Perfect! You're not some dimwitted loser after all! You'll be the key to the Empire's winning!"  
  
Homestar was pooped. Of course, this was the perfect time for some Imperial Soldiers to ambush him and send him up to the throne room. In the room, Homestar was tied to the seat. Then the Children/Arrowed Guy got inside. "HAHAHA! My own offensive and soon to be magic user," Children/Arrowed Guy said, "You only proved yourself your worth of working for the Empire! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
==============================================  
  
Homestar Runner woke up with a sweat. "Oh man, I don't like it dere," He said to himself.  
  
Homestar got out of bed and decided to walk out. Nearby he could see Strong Bad on his Compy 386 (Where'd all those Compy 386s come from?), checking the latest email. He typed out 'strongbad_email.exe' as usual. This email follows:  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Hey, Strong Bad,  
  
What's with being the World of Balance anyways? How did you get there?  
  
Crapfully Crap,  
  
Something with a load of Crap  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Strong Bad then responded like this:  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Look right here, that's the most useless email I've ever read! I'll have to get it DELETED!  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Strong Bad then hit the delete key and deleted the email. He then turned to Homestar. "Uh Homestar," Strong Bad said, "Could you please get lost?"  
  
"Why would I do dat Strong Bad?" Homestar replied.  
  
"Because you're annoying!"  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Well, aside from you being a freaking moron, there was this one person important to me that got jailed by the Empire and joined the Returners since. Those lousy Empire people were total crap to the freaking core! I wanted to make a difference!"  
  
"But uh, I don't seem to have a 'other' thing dat you were tawkin abowt..."  
  
"Homestar you're annoying, and besides, that's not even freaking true! There's other people out there that think you're important to them, even if I don't think you're important to me! Now get going before I decide to punch you in the gut!"  
  
Homestar decided to walk off. He met up with Bubs next. "You know Homestar," Bubs said, "It's gonna be hard for us to talk you into helping us. If we like push you too much, we're no different to the Empire. We want you to make up your own mind!"  
  
Homestar continued walking along and met with Stinkoman. "Come on Homestar," Stinkoman said, "You've got some spunk there that I admire. Holding off all those Imperial troops must be some task, right? Oh wait, I forgot! You still don't remember that do you?"  
  
"Uh, no," Homestar replied, "But I do remember along deh lines of getting a basebwall bat and knocking some of those robots down and stuff. Dat's all I cuould really remembewr..."  
  
Homestar then decided to go have some cold ones at the counter in part of the hideout. He met Coach Z and the Cheat there. "Hey there, Homestar!" Coach Z said, "You know, you're the only one who does a great 'joarb' using magic and stuff. None of us could even do that, you know!"  
  
"Meeeeeeeeeehamemeeeehemee! Mehmemfa, emdeemmeh, meeehamemmeheeeme,mahmmeeeahmememeemaammeehhnamee!" (I have to agree with the Coach! With your magic, my cheats, and the rest of the party's abilities, we'll squash that no good Children/Arrowed Guy good!) The Cheat added.  
  
"Thanks you guys," Homestar replied, "I'll decide to join. Oh and owner person or whoever, get me a couple of cold ones."  
  
"Okay," he replied, "Here's your cold ones!"  
  
Homestar then had those cold ones and was done with them. "Uh, where's da Blacksmith?" Homestar asked.  
  
"The Blacksmith? I think he's outside at the entrance of the hideout," The clerk who operates the 'bar' replied. "He just went out there a moment ago."  
  
So, Homestar then decides to head out through the entrance and finds the Blacksmith. The Blacksmith sees Homestar Runner. "So Homestar, you deciding to become our last ray of hope?" He asked.  
  
"Absolutely!" Homestar replied.  
  
"Really? You will?!?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm still scarewd!"  
  
"Come on! We've got powerful allies and if we all work together, we'll be successful! Never give up hope!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"And I have a plan. Lets get everyone together!"  
  
Everyone got together at the central table inside the hideout..  
  
"Right," The Blacksmith started, "We all know that the Empire is using Magitek power in battle. Now to ask, how did the King of Town create it?"  
  
"Me and Strong Bad looked into the rumour that the Empire is forcing the world's finest scholars to study Espers!" Bubs said.  
  
"And all the freaking trouble in Cheatshe is over an Esper too, which in opinion is total crap!" Strong Bad added.  
  
"Uh, let me guess," Homestar replied, "There's sum sort of connectun between Espers and Magitek?"  
  
"I can only recall one thing linking espers with Magitek power..." The Blacksmith said.  
  
"You don't mean..." Bubs replied.  
  
"Indeed! The ancient war of the Magi and 20X6 and 1936..."  
  
"Since when would 20X6 be in such a war?" Stinkoman commented, "How come I never even seen this war in action anyways?"  
  
"Uh, we dunno Stinkoman," Coach Z replied.  
  
"Hey, I remember being told about some stories of magical machines by a talking wheelchair... Could the myth be true?" Strong Bad said.  
  
"It could be that ancient tragedy playing out once again," Bubs responded.  
  
"Strong Bad, Bubs," The Blacksmith tells them, "It's just speculation, but of course historical studies have provided a number of conflicting and frightening theories, and according to one of those theories, humans and machines were imbued with powers that are drained from Espers..."  
  
"Well, it could explain how the fweakin robot things or Magitaps or whatever have powrs..." Homestar replied.  
  
"It's risky, but if we have Homestar Runner and speak with that Esper, it just might wake up!"  
  
"Uh, are you sure that's wise?" Bubs questioned.  
  
"Who can say, Bubs?" the Blacksmith responded, "Regardless, we need Homestar's help."  
  
"Meehmeeah?" (Homestar?) The Cheat asked.  
  
"I'm doin' it!" Homestar said.  
  
"Hey! That's nonsense!" Coach Z replied, "It's sounding like you really enjoy this!"  
  
"Coach Z!" Stinkoman tells Coach Z, "Just because it sounds nonsense does not mean Homestar can't help us! He's got determination!"  
  
Just then, one of the guards of the Returners Hideout came limping. The Blacksmith ran to him.  
  
"S...Sir Blacksmith. S...South Concession..." He said.  
  
"What happened?" The Blacksmith asked.  
  
"E... Empire... took Concession... and coming... this... way... auugh!" He replied, before collapsing on the ground.  
  
"Oh crap!" Strong Bad commented, "The Empire really is ruthless!"  
  
The Blacksmith looked back at the others. "Guys," He said, "They have found us and we haven't got a moment to lose!"  
  
Strong Bad really was angry. "Strong Bad!" Bubs said.  
  
"Oh yeah," Strong Bad replied, "Someone's got to sneak into South Concession and slow the freaking Empire down, right?"  
  
"That's right up your alley! Good luck Strong Bad!" Bubs tells Strong Bad.  
  
"Okay! Come on, The Cheat, lets slow down a moronic Empire together! To South Concession!"  
  
"Homestar! Don't try to come with me this time! Wait for me to... punch you in the gut!" Strong Bad said before leaving.  
  
"Strong Bad!" Bubs yelled at Strong Bad.  
  
"Strong Bad, when you gonna stop causing Homestar grief?!? You make me have a bad image!" Stinkoman added.  
  
Strong Bad and the Cheat left for South Concession. "What are we going to do?" The Blacksmith asked.  
  
"Hey, we'll escape via the Lete river!" Bubs answered, "There should be a motor raft there!"  
  
"Motor, what?" Homestar asked.  
  
"Motor raft!" Bubs replied back, "It's a raft with engines from some of them boats which you pull the handle and it moves! Anyways, we'll escape through the Lete river with it and make our way to Cheatshe. I want to see what this Esper is!"  
  
"Oh, so there is a motor raft now isn't there?" The Blacksmith said, "Well it's a gamble, seeing as we're fresh out of options, and regular rafts..."  
  
Homestar looked back. "You're in danger here if you stay!" Bubs tells Homestar, "Come with us to Cheatshe. You may even learn more about your own new-found abilities as well.  
  
"No time to dilly-dally or talk-talk-talk!" The Blacksmith reminded them.  
  
After the discussion, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Stinkoman, Coach Z, and The Blacksmith went through a tunnel found in the hideout and are now at the Lete river. Below is the motor raft which Bubs told about. "Here we go! This raft will take us to Cheatshe!" The Blacksmith reminded the others.  
  
The five jumped onto the motor raft and started it up. They went down the river but of course the raft went out of control. Bubs and Stinkoman operated the motors and managed to steer the raft properly. Of course, the river wasn't without it's dangers. the river had twisted paths, and of course they all ended up always taking the wrong way and end up back where they started. Also, there were also some vicious critters there as well, like octopus-snail combined critters called Nautiloids, and underwater critters called Exocites. Stinkoman and Homestar knock the critters back whence they came while Bubs and Coach Z continue controlling the engines. The Blacksmith used a technique called 'health' to bring everyone back to tip-top shape. Finally, after so many wrong turns, the five finally take the correct direction and are flowing to the cave. Of course, there doesn't seem to be anything of importance, but of course everyone takes a small break. After their small rest, they all board the raft again and Bubs and Stinkoman take the controls of the motors again, as they continue down the river.  
  
"This is one long reeeiver!" Coach Z commented, "When is it going to stop?"  
  
"When we get to Cheatshe, Coach!" The Blacksmith replied.  
  
They then continued down the river, coming up to one of those multipath areas, and of course they picked the right one this time, but of course along the way, they had to deal with more Nautiloids, Exocites, and also face Pterodons as well. The Pterodons were nasty little buggers, as Homestar's attacks keep missing and Stinkoman was too concentrated on one of the motors to help out. The Blacksmith however decided to use his sledge hammer on the Pterodons, knocking them into the water. Continuing on, the five ride the raft through another cave, but did not stop this time. The raft went over a waterfall, but the landing was perfect. They continued forward, until they stopped into some sort of... purple octopus!  
  
"My goodness! What is that?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"Looks like some awkward bubble gum!" Bubs replied.  
  
"That's no bubble gum Bubs," The Blacksmith told Bubs, "That's a vicious Octopus!"  
  
The Octopus splashed out of the water and brought the raft to a halt, knocking Bubs and Stinkoman into the water. They managed to get back onto the raft and see the vicious Octopus.  
  
"Uwee Hee hee!" The Octopus taunted, "Game over! Don't tease the Octopus, kids!"  
  
"Who you you think you are, Orctopuss?" Coach Z asked.  
  
"Glad you asked," The Octopus replied, "I'm Ultros, and I'm gonna annihilate you all! Hee hee hee! I'll eat what's left of you all after I do!"  
  
Ultros then swiped at everyone with his tentacles, hurting everyone. The Blacksmith brought everyone up to tip top shape again and clobbered Ultros with his sledge hammer. Homestar Runner decided to use Fire on Ultros. "Yeouch! Marshie-Seafood Soup!" Ultros shouted.  
  
Ultros then spitted some ink at Homestar's eyes and blinded him. Homestar didn't know which way to go. "Uh, you guys, it's so dark!" Homestar said, "I cannot luk everywhewre or anywhereth!"  
  
Bubs got angry at Ultros. "How dare you blind Homestar Runner like that?!?" Bubs shouted as he unloaded loads of Auto-Crossbow bolts into Ultros.  
  
"Ow!" Ultros shouted.  
  
Ultros then looked at whoever did that to him. "Oooh, delicious morsel," Ultros spoke to Bubs, "Let me get my bib!"  
  
Ultros then whacked Bubs with a tentacle and knocked Bubs down, and Bubs was seeing stars. "Oh man, that's one mean Octopus!" Bubs commented.  
  
Stinkoman looked. "You call that an attack?" Stinkoman taunted Ultros, "This is an attack! Pummel!"  
  
Stinkoman then pummeled the beejeezus out of Ultros, and used an Aurabolt on top of that. When Ultros got over the shock, "Muscle heads er, I mean metal heads? I hate em!" Ultros shouted as he attacked Stinkoman with a tentacle, but unfortunately missed hitting Stinkoman.  
  
The Blacksmith used his 'health' technique again, recovering everyone's health again. Homestar had some melonade to regain his strength, and used another fire spell on Ultros. "Yeouch! Seafood Soup! I need to get rid of this fire!" Ultros complained as he dived underwater, but not before hitting the Blacksmith with one of his tentacles!  
  
Ultros then rose again, but unfortunately got owned by one last pummel from Stinkoman. "Ha! This is the first time you fought me! Th.... th.. that's all, friends!" Ultros said, as he went into the water.  
  
"Well, I guess we thrashed that oversized squid," Stinkoman said.  
  
"I wouldn't count on it. He's probably hiding from us!" Bubs replied.  
  
Just then, a tentacle came out and grabbed one of Homestar Runner's legs. "Hey! Somebody get this freaking tentacle eway from me!" Homestar yelled.  
  
"Homestar, over here!" Bubs shouted as he pulled Homestar to safety.  
  
"Well, everything is all right now," The Blacksmith tells everyone.  
  
Of course, Stinkoman was still intent on destroying Ultros. "That Ultros is asking for a fight, so I'm gonna annihilate him with a Blitz!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"No! Steenkoman!" Coach Z told Stinkoman.  
  
"Don't distract me, Coach Z! Ultros is literally asking for a challenge!" Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Well, he's been a tad zealous, especially when others challenge him," Bubs said.  
  
Stinkoman jumped into the water after Ultros. "Stinkoman!" Homestar yelled.  
  
"Don't worry about him," The Blacksmith told Homestar.  
  
"Uh, are you sure Stinkoman will be okay, Blacksmith?" Bubs asked.  
  
"Well, you should know better! Any minute he will probably flop right back onto the raft."  
  
Of course, The Blacksmith was wrong. He saw Stinkoman fly right out of the water into mid air. "Oh man!" Stinkoman yelled, "What's with this creep?!?"  
  
In the distance, they saw Stinkoman land into the water from afar. The Blacksmith couldn't say anything. "Seems a little too perky himself," Bubs said, "Ha!"  
  
"Stinkoman!!!" Homestar shouted.  
  
"Stinkoman, take care of yourself!" Bubs added.  
  
Stinkoman was getting drifted through a different branch of the Lete river, while the others kept going through the river on the left side. Homestar had to take over for operating one of the Motors, since Stinkoman went overboard. They continued through the river as usual. Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, and the Blacksmith continue riding the rapids towards Cheatshe, but of course the going won't be easy. The raft finally stopped. Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, and the Blacksmith got off the raft and walked straight towards Cheatshe. They finally got to the entrance and walked ahead. Unfortunately, they got stopped by some of the guards there.   
  
"No entrance into here!" The guard shouted. Everyone ran away from them. They walked over to the side of the mountain.   
  
"Uh, when Stwong Bad and teh Cheat got me out of this place, he fiddled with some something that's right about ere..." Homestar explained to everyone.  
  
"Hmm," Bubs replied, "Well there should be some mechanism to get this entrance opened."  
  
Bubs found the mechanism and the door opened ahead. The four enter the mines, coming up against Were Rats, but unfortunately for the rats, they died incredibly fast by the four, and the same goes for the Vaporites and Repomen inside as well. They follow through and end up outside again, this time on the mountains. They make the turn around and then enter another set of caves. Of course, in this set of caves, there was some sort of maze where they had to follow through the same way the light went, otherwise they would get into a battle.  
  
"Huh?" Bubs went.  
  
"Uh, what's dat?" Homestar asked.  
  
"I think that's some sort of security checkpoint or cheesy movie effect," Bubs answered, "Any way, I think we must move along the path of it, otherwise we could get raided on by monsters! But of course if that happens, we just have to trigger the correct glittering light and we can continue on our way!"  
  
Homestar and the others run after the light after the way it's going, making sure not to take a wrong step. Unfortunately, Coach Z goes the wrong way and gets everyone surrounded in a barrier of stars, with one of the stars being gold. Homestar readies his bat, and gets dizzy. Then, Homestar decided to just hit a star, and unknowingly hit the right one, shattering the barrier and allowing everyone to continue moving through the maze. At last, they all made it to the other side and then continued navigating the passages. They eventually found their way through the same tunnels that Homestar navigated to get away from the guards of Cheatshe before. They went through Arvis' house in the back door and continued moving on through the mountains, until they at last, found the right house. Arvis was inside.  
  
"Blacksmith! King Bubs! Coach Z! ... and Homestar Runner!" Arvis greeted them.  
  
"Arvis! What's happening around Cheatshe?" The Blacksmith asked.  
  
"This town is neutral. I have tried to get the people to side with the Returners, but anyway, why have you come here?"  
  
"First, how are the people doing?" Bubs asked.  
  
"They all went slightly berserk when they discovered the Esper," Arvis replied.  
  
"I think we believe that Homestar Runner is our only hope of reaching out to that Esper," The Blacksmith tells to Arvis.  
  
"My people are dying to know what that Esper looks like. Maybe Homestar can help restore some order to our town... ?"  
  
"Either that 'Eispher' is either going to save us, or dig us an eearly grave..." Coach Z said.  
  
Now, what's happening at South Concession? Will Strong Bad and the Cheat slow them down? What happened to Stinkoman? Find out in the next two chapters!  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Yep. In the next two chapters, we'll see what happens with the other two groups! See ya then!  
  
------------------------------------------ 


	5. South Concession Troubles

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
Chapter 5: South Concession troubles (Strong Bad and the Cheat)  
  
Previously on Chapter 4: Strong Bad and the Cheat agreed to investigate back at South Concession after the word from a dying soldier was given out. While the others were going to the Lete River (Homestar Runner, Bubs, Coach Z, Stinkoman, and The Blacksmith), Strong Bad and the Cheat went back to South Concession. Unfortunately, danger awaited the two, and now...  
  
Strong Bad and the Cheat ran as fast as they could and hid behind somewhere so the imperial soldier on their tail could not find them. The imperial soldier gave up and walked away without a concern. "Oh man, The Cheat," Strong Bad said, "This town is really invaded, and we're stuck here!"  
  
"Meeeeeh meeeeh!" (A-greed!) The Cheat replied.  
  
"Yeah, and we've got to get to Cheatshe on the fly on top of that!" Strong Bad added.  
  
The two walk on ahead and notice an imperial troop in Magitek Armor is blocking a path. Strong Bad approaches him. "Scram you mexican-masked freak!" The imperial soldier yells at Strong Bad. Strong Bad avoided the fire beam and both himself and the Cheat ran up the stairs. They both enter the nearby house through the door. Of course, things were pretty ridiculous. Strong Bad finds an old man reading and of course, he wanted cider. "Give me some Cider, and maybe we'll talk," The old man said.  
  
The Cheat checks out downstairs, but a kid blocks it. "Only Merchants may pass through here," that kid said.  
  
When Strong Bad and the Cheat met again, they had a discussion. "Crappity crap!" Strong Bad said, "A man wants Cider otherwise he won't talk to me!"  
  
"Meeeeeeeeeehmeeh meeammeehammeeh!" (That's Nothing!) The Cheat replied, "Meeeeaneneeheeemameeenhe Madeeenennaneeedndadeemh!" (A Kid in the basement allows only Merchants through!)  
  
"Well, lets head for the item shop and get some stuff. Can't believe we let Homestar and the others take that stuff! We'll find a way to get past the freaking guard!"  
  
Strong Bad and the Cheat left the house and went to the item shop. Strong Bad noticed another Compy 386 in the wall to the left. "Whoa! Another Compy 386!" Strong Bad said.  
  
Of course, this caught the attention of one merchant. "Hey! You're that person who types with his boxing gloves on aren't you?!?" The merchant yelled.  
  
"Yeah, but don't ask that freaking question or I'll bust your head!" Strong Bad replied angrily.  
  
Of course, this got the merchant charging towards Strong Bad. He missed and of course the Cheat got hurt in the process, being knocked back against the door. The Cheat decided to attack and struck the merchant, and was about to attack again, until Strong Bad got an idea. "Hey! merchant who says how I type with boxing gloves on!" Strong Bad yelled, "Come and get me!"  
  
The merchant turned around and rushed towards Strong Bad. Of course, this gave the chance for Strong Bad to jump up and steal an item from the merchant. Of course... "And stole his clothes too! HAHAHAHAHAA!!" Strong Bad added.  
  
"Wh.. Whew!!" The merchant went, now only in his underwear, "Sorry!"  
  
The merchant collapsed. Strong Bad decided to put on the Merchant's clothes. "A little loose and baggy, but, these will do!" Strong Bad said, "Come on, the Cheat, get inside this disguise."  
  
"Meeeeheemeaah!" (Lets go!), The Cheat replied.  
  
Strong Bad heads back to the house that he and the Cheat went into before, and went downstairs to the basement. The kid down there noticed that he was a merchant. "A merchant eh? Well, go ahead." that kid said, getting out of Strong Bad and the Cheat's way.  
  
The two then leave out that back door, and were glad to be on the other side where that imperial trooper in Magitek armor was guarding. Of course, they attempt to go to the cafe, but an imperial soldier is blocking the way. He thought that Strong Bad was a merchant, and yelled, "I don't wanna buy anything!"  
  
Strong Bad then wondered how to get by there. He then looked up and saw a different imperial soldier, wearing mostly green. He got the funny idea. "The Cheat, we're going to that guy!" Strong Bad said.  
  
Strong Bad walked up the stairs to the border where the Imperial soldier is moving around on. He noticed them and shouted out, "Scram you blockhead!", and immediately attacked. Strong Bad took some hurt but managed to attack the Imperial soldier, knocking him out. Strong Bad grinned as he took the clothes of the Imperial soldier and then changed into it. "Oh man!" Strong Bad commented, "This fits all right, but man this helmet is hard on my head!"  
  
The Cheat was puzzled at that fact. 'Strong Bad in an Imperial soldier's uniform?' he thought, as Strong Bad made his way back to the Imperial soldier blocking the way. The imperial soldier blocking the way before took notice. "Oh, I guess I need a break!" The imperial soldier said, as he left his position and went to the cafe. Strong Bad and the Cheat followed.  
  
They arrived at the cafe, and to their surprise, Thomas was sweating at the amount of imperial soldiers that are there. Strong Bad and the Cheat went to Thomas. "Uh, anything goin' on, Thomas?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"I'm already nervous around you soldiers already and... Oh hey Strong Bad," Thomas replied.  
  
"Hey, that was uncalled for, man!"  
  
"Sorry about that. You just looked like an imperial soldier until I noticed that you were with the Cheat. I really can't say because we could be watched by them."  
  
"Okay, then I guess we should get going then. Come on, the Cheat, lets get going! No cider here."  
  
"Well, not precisely. There's a merchant downstairs with the Cider. Maybe you could get it from him or something, but he's pretty rough and doesn't like others going after it."  
  
"Okay, thanks Thomas."  
  
And so, the two go downstairs. There's a door to the right. Strong Bad opens the door and finds a merchant there. He noticed Strong Bad and said, "Hey you! You here to steal my cider? You stupid-freaking thief which I should ask how you type with boxing gloves on!"  
  
"Meeeehamememememeee" (That didn't make sense), the Cheat replied.  
  
Strong Bad did the same procedure he did to steal the previous merchant's clothes before, and jumped over the merchant. Then, with a tug, all the merchant's clothes came off, leaving the merchant only in his underwear. "Eeek!" the merchant yelled, "I'm naked!"  
  
The merchant fainted, and Strong Bad put on the merchant's clothes. "Well, these are even better than the other merchant clothes I've worn before," Strong Bad commented, "Okay, the Cheat, lets take the Cider and head on back to the old man. Maybe he'll talk then."  
  
The Cheat hides in the merchant clothing which Strong Bad has on, and of course Strong Bad took the Cider off the table. Strong Bad and the Cheat go back upstairs and leave the cafe. Of course, some imperial soldiers were curious. One said: "Uh, didn't an imperial soldier just go down there?"  
  
Another replied, "Yeah. There's something funny going on around here. I hope it doesn't have anything to do with this Strong Bad character and that spotted walking anvil-thingy."  
  
"Nah! It couldn't be!" Another imperial soldier said.  
  
Outside the cafe, Strong Bad and the Cheat made their way back to the house, and entered through the door. They get the clear to pass by the same kid which barred the way and continue on, walking up the stairs. They head for the room where the old man is still reading, and Strong Bad hands over the Cider. "Ah! Cider!" The old man said, and then started drinking it. "Oh, you want to know about a secret passage? What a coincidence! There's one in the basement, but unfortunately, you'll need a password, and the password is uh.... I dunno what it is!"  
  
"Oh crap!" Strong Bad replied, "Now we need a freaking password? This is just ridiculous!"  
  
Strong Bad and the Cheat go back downstairs and meet the kid again. "So, you know about the secret passage eh?" He said, "Tell me what the password is."  
  
Strong Bad thought and thought, but couldn't remember. "Argh!" Strong Bad yelled, "Who would have such the courage to guard a secret from imperial soldiers?!?"  
  
"You're almost there," the kid replied, "One of those words in the question is the password..."  
  
"Oh, you mean courage?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"That's right! Well, I'll open the secret passage for you. Allow me."  
  
The kid triggered a switch in the wall, and the wall moved, revealing a secret door. Both Strong Bad and the Cheat entered through the door and then walked through the passage and found their way into a storage area, and stairs leading elsewhere. Strong Bad and the Cheat go through the mess of stuff and go up the stairs. They exit the area and find themselves outside again. They go around the side of the house and through another entrance. They were finally inside the big house. Of course, the problem was that there's an imperial soldier blocking the other door. So, both Strong Bad and the Cheat go upstairs to the upper level. The hallway was long, and there were a couple of doors leading to other rooms. Strong Bad checks out the room closest to the end of the hall, and finds kids and an imperial soldier inside. "Argh!" The imperial soldier said, "Quit mimicing some Magitek armor will ya?"  
  
Strong Bad walks in. "Uh, what's goin' on here?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"None of your business there," The imperial soldier replied, "I'm putting up with these brats and they think they are in Magitek armor!"  
  
Strong Bad left the room. "The Cheat," Strong Bad tells the Cheat, "Lets try the next room."  
  
Strong Bad and the Cheat enter the next room. It felt cold in the room, as if there was a breeze somewhere. "Oh man!" Strong Bad comments, "Isn't there any freaking heating vents around?"  
  
The man inside responds, "What's a heating vent?"  
  
"Uh, a heating vent is some sort of invention that keeps houses and rooms warm."  
  
"Oh, I never heard of that. There's a breeze coming from some secret passage. It must be coming from that wall over there where the shelves of books are."  
  
Of course, the Cheat found it first. "Maaeeeeheammemeeh!" (Strong Bad!) The Cheat shouted, "Maeeeheamemememenaeeheemdmeee!" (There is a secret passage!)  
  
"Good work, the Cheat," Strong Bad replied, "Lets investigate!"  
  
The two went down the staircase, and of course it was really cold down there. Strong Bad did not take off the merchant suit. Strong Bad walked through and there were four rooms. Strong Bad heard some noise and checked what was behind the first door. Unfortunately, he just found a bathroom, and someone was in the shower! It was a girl inside! She screamed, alerting some imperial guards. Strong Bad and the Cheat went on a beam. Of course, the girl told the imperial soldiers that Strong Bad went up to the ceiling, but of course, they couldn't find Strong Bad up there! They just shrugged and went back to the room they came from. Strong Bad and the Cheat jumped back down. "This place is really crazy," Strong Bad said, "Lets see what's in the second door.  
  
Strong Bad went to the second door, but this time he looked through the keyhole. Strong Bad recognized who it was. "I think I've seen her before," Strong Bad said, "Holy crap, it's Marzipan!"  
  
Behind the door, an imperial soldier is senselessly pounding at Marzipan. "This what happens to traitors!" The imperial soldier told to Marzipan.  
  
The other soldier then said, "Man, how the mighty Marzipan has fallen!"  
  
Marzipan stepped in. "How can you even serve those cowards anyways?" She said.  
  
"Hold your tongue!" The imperial soldier which pounded at her replied.  
  
"Isn't it true that the Children/Arrowed guy is going to poison the people of Pomo, to the east?"  
  
"shuddup!" The imperial soldier shouted back as he gave a final punch to Marzipan.  
  
"I hate to be in your shoes tomorrow!" The imperial soldier said afterwards, "And you sir, throw her into that cell and make sure you keep a close eye on her. She should stay here until notified that it's time for her death."  
  
"Yes sir!" The other imperial soldier replied, "I can go days without sleeping!"  
  
As the imperial soldier left, Strong Bad and the Cheat were up on one of the beams overlooking, and they could see him going up the stairs. Strong Bad and the Cheat jumped down after the coast was clear. They entered the room, and found the imperial soldier on a stool, snoozing. Ahead, Strong Bad noticed that Marzipan was locked up in the cell by a dead bolt which Marzipan could not reach. "Cheat..." Strong Bad whispered, "Keep it down so the imperial soldier doesn't wake up."  
  
"meeeehmmeeeeh" (Okay), The Cheat replied.  
  
Strong Bad went up to the cell door and Strong Bad removed the dead bolt. He then opened the door. Strong Bad whispered, "Hey, Marzipan!"  
  
Strong Bad even shook her lightly. Marzipan slowly opened her eyes and looked up. "Uh, what do you hope to get down here?" Marzipan asked.  
  
"Oops," Strong Bad replied, "I meant to take these off these clothes."  
  
Strong Bad got out of the merchant's clothes and back to his own. "It's me, Strong Bad."  
  
"Strong Bad?" Marzipan said, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, for one thing, I'm finding a way for me and the Cheat to get out of here. There's so many freaking guards here. I am now with this gang or something called the Returners."  
  
"Returners!!! I used to be a General... General Marzipan that is... Now all I am is just a common traitor awaiting execution."  
  
"Come on, lets go Marzipan!"  
  
"Uh, you're taking me along aren't you?"  
  
"Meeeehamememememeaeeaaemmeeee" (Yes, Strong Bad wants to take you along), The Cheat replied.  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks," Marzipan tells them, "I can barely walk, and I'm grateful that you and Strong Bad managed to free me, but even if you got me out of here, you both couldn't protect me."  
  
"Oh, crap!" Strong Bad replied, "Come on! I'll protect you! You'll be fine! Trust me! Lets get going!"  
  
Strong Bad and the Cheat were about to go when Marzipan stopped them. "Wait," Marzipan told them, "That soldier has something important on him..."  
  
Strong Bad walked in front of the soldier, and of course it was still snoring. "There's a clock key in his pocket," Strong Bad said as he took it out of there. All of a sudden, the imperial soldier woke up.  
  
"...'n some bread too... ...mumble mumble..." The imperial soldier added, only to fall asleep again.  
  
The three then leave the room, and then go to the last door. This door contained many chests filled with gold and stuff, and two clocks in there. One clock was still ticking, while another wasn't. "Oh man," Strong Bad said, "That clock is total crap!"  
  
Strong Bad kicked the clock and of course, the clock ended up toppeling over the Cheat. "Meeeehehemaemeamememmemae!!!!!" (What was that for?!?!?) The Cheat shouted.  
  
"Oops, Sorry the Cheat," Strong Bad replied, as he lifted the clock back up.  
  
"That clock isn't moving," Marzipan said, "But the other is. How about winding that clock. It could be a clue! That's what the clock key is for!"  
  
Strong Bad winds the clock and of course, an entrance opens up. This door lead into a series of tunnels, and unfortunately, there were Vector pups down there, which Strong Bad punched at, making them see stars. Marzipan used Ice magic on some more Vector pups, which caught Strong Bad's attention. "Whoa! You can use magic too?" Strong Bad said, "And I thought Homestar was the only one to use it!"  
  
"Homestar can use magic?" Marzipan asked.  
  
"Yeah! Like if it weren't for him, we wouldn't be alive, though I should have had it! Why do you and Homestar have magic and I don't?"  
  
"You were not infused with it Strong Bad."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The three continue through the hallways. It really felt like a maze, because Strong Bad did not know the layout of the place, and himself, Marzipan and the Cheat ended up in a damp basement with goodies. Strong Bad found an Ether and an X-Potion down there. The Cheat looked further in and found a ribbon inside another chest. After taking everything in the area, the three go back up the stairs to the painful maze room, putting up with more Vector pups, but also having to deal with commanders as well. The Cheat plugs away at his cheats to thwart them, while Strong Bad and Marzipan finish off what's left of them. There doesn't seem to be any way out. "Crappity crap!" Strong Bad shouted, "Where's the freakin way out of here?"  
  
"Meeeaehemmemeameeemamemememeaae" (What about the Automap you have?) The Cheat asked.  
  
"It's not as simple as that, the Cheat," Strong Bad replied, "I accidently lost it back at the Returners hideout."  
  
The Cheat's head just steamed a bit, but continued on with Strong Bad and Marzipan. They finally go up a staircase and find a doorway. Marzipan asks a question to Strong Bad. "Why are you helping me anyways?" Marzipan asked.  
  
"For one thing I can't stand someone dying!" Strong Bad replied, "And you want to see that loser Homestar Runner don't you?"  
  
"Homestar Runner's with the Returners?!?"  
  
"Yeah, and man he's so annoying!"  
  
"Don't say stuff about Homestar like that!"  
  
"Fine."  
  
The three finally leave through there and finally are outside again, and a way out. The three flee from South Concession and make their way to Concession cave. "Where are we going Strong Bad?" Marzipan asked.  
  
"We're heading for Cheatshe!" Strong Bad replied, "I bet Homestar, Bubs, Coach Z, Stinkoman, and the Blacksmith are there right now."  
  
They finally arrive at Concession cave. Strong Bad got a little nervous. He was expecting the hornets to strike back, as their hives were still there. Marzipan didn't understand why Strong Bad was nervous around inside the cave. Marzipan was about to tell Strong Bad about his problem, but there was some loud noises and violent shaking. "What the crap?" Marzipan said.  
  
Strong Bad panicked. The violent shake sent every single hive down, releasing all the hornets from them. Of course, those hornets ignored Strong Bad, Marzipan, and the Cheat, and went in the direction the three were walking along. The three continue on through the tunnels, following the hornets that swarmed out, but the hornets went into the opening that was unreachable, the opening that is across the spring. "Oh well," Strong Bad said, "Guess those hornets aren't interested in us anymore.  
  
They continue towards the exit, until there was a severe rumble. Marzipan turned around. Strong Bad said, "Huh?"  
  
"Something is coming out of that wall!" Marzipan added.  
  
Part of the wall of the cave turned to rubble ahead. Rocks broke off and eventually the part of the wall crumbled down. Marzipan's eyes opened in horror as she saw what could be the most terrifying piece of machinery. "TunnelArmor!" Marzipan shouted.  
  
"What the? That oversized tank thing is TunnelArmor?!?" Strong Bad replied.  
  
"I wasn't counting on that. I'll draw it's magic attack from us. It will not hurt us."  
  
"Pardon, Marzipan?"  
  
"*sigh* I'm talking about using this runic blade to absorb it's magical attacks."  
  
"Oh, like that. You think you're gonna be okay though?"  
  
"Just you watch!!"  
  
The TunnelArmor launched a series of spells at the group. Of course, Marzipan leaped in front of Strong Bad and the Cheat and let the magic go inside the blade. Every single spell the TunnelArmor used got absorbed by Marzipan's runic blade. "Spells not working on targets, ram into target 'Marzipan'!" The TunnelArmor said.  
  
The TunnelArmor rammed into Marzipan, sending her flying. Strong Bad saw this and got behind Marzipan, and the both of them went flying into a wall. Marzipan was still okay, though hurt a little. Strong Bad on the other hand... "Oooooooh," Strong Bad groaned in pain, "I think I sprained myself...."  
  
The Cheat got mad and unleashed the Meatseeker cheat on the TunnelArmor, relentlessly firing at it, but of course, the TunnelArmor wasn't getting weak very fast, and was still relatively and nearly undamaged as the Cheat ran out of ammunition. "MAEJEMAEMEMAEEMMM!" (Holy Crap!) The Cheat said.  
  
The Cheat got hit by one of the TunnelArmor's offensive spells, sending the Cheat flying back to where Strong Bad and Marzipan are at. "Oh man ow," Strong Bad said, still in pain, "What kind of robot is that anyways?"  
  
"I thought you could protect me," Marzipan said, "But you got yourself hurt and in bad shape. I don't think you're capable of saving me from the Empire."  
  
"Meeananeneeamame! Meaamameeeeeheaenneneeameeaneamememe! Maenenneeeeeaammemeeeeammeee!" (Marzipan! You're so negative of yourself! That TunnelArmor is so disassembled!) The Cheat told Marzipan.  
  
The Cheat went towards the TunnelArmor. Strong Bad thought the Cheat was doomed. "Meahaheamememmememeaaheme!" (Time to use Automatic Wind attack Cheat!" The Cheat shouted.  
  
Just then, the scenery changed to outside and a delicate sparkle enveloped the three. They were fully recovered. Strong Bad got up. "Way to go the Cheat!" Strong Bad shouted with dignity, "Lets annihilate that piece of junk!"  
  
Strong Bad dashed towards and jumped onto the TunnelArmor. Unfortunately for the TunnelArmor, it could not hit Strong Bad, and it's internal systems were getting smashed into by Strong Bad's punches. The Cheat continued with his Automatic Wind attack cheat, healing everyone and attacking the TunnelArmor. Marzipan continued to absorb all the magic spells that the TunnelArmor used. Eventually, one final punch from Strong Bad caused the TunnelArmor to explode, sending Strong Bad flying back, his front self charred, and also causing the Cheat's head to implode. When Strong Bad got up, the TunnelArmor was now in pieces. "Finally," Strong Bad said, "That freaking piece of equipment is gone. Thanks you two. I couldn't have done it without either of yous. Looks like we're clear to leave now, and head towards Cheatshe!"  
  
After the scenery changed to normal, the three leave Concession cave and then make their way to Cheatshe. Never was there any trouble like that which they just encountered...  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Well, that's the end of Strong Bad and the Cheat's path. The Empire hasn't been slowed down much, but they have been slowed down at least. Now what happened to Stinkoman anyways? Check out next chapter to find out!  
  
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	6. Phantasm to the Wildness

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
Sam, Clover, Alex, Mandy and her lackeys are from Totally Spies and are owned by Marathon.  
  
The Simpsons is owned by Matt Groening and the people who worked on the Simpsons.  
  
Miku Hinasaki and the rest of Fatal Frame are owned by Tecmo.  
  
The Doctor, Sarah Jane Smith and the TV Show Doctor Who are owned by uh, Fox?  
  
Everybody Loves Raymond and all characters from it are owned by the guys who did the show!  
  
Chapter 6: Phantasm to the Wildness  
  
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This is Stinkoman's Journey. Previously on Chapter 4, he tried to annihilate Ultros altogether with a blitz, but failed, sending him flying away from the others. He ended up flowing down the river that's opposite that the others are flowing down. Where will Stinkoman end up? Read on in this chapter to find out! Oh, and expect cameos from cartoons like Totally Spies and the Simpsons and also TV Shows like Everybody Loves Raymond. Oh yeah, and another appearance by Homsar!  
  
And also note that this is currently the longest chapter ever in this fanfic! You've been warned!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Stinkoman was unconsious, and flowing down the river. He ends up flowing right into a shore, and being near a house. Stinkoman regain consious, and looked around. "What is this place?" Stinkoman said to himself.  
  
He decided to check out the house. By the well, he saw one person: Homeschool Winner. He was with that critter that is crossed between a cow and a helicopter. Of course, Stinkoman decided to check inside the house. Of course, one guy is demanding that everything gets done for him. "My clock needs fixing for crying out loud!" He said, "I need to be cared for!"  
  
"No way!" Stinkoman replied as he left the house. Stinkoman thought that the man was really cranky. He then decided to see Homeschool Winner. Homeschool noticed Stinkoman.  
  
"Who are you?" Homeschool asked.  
  
Stinkoman replied, "I'm Stinkoman, the town's greatest fighter if there ever was one. Now, who are you?"  
  
"I'm Homeschool Winner. You remind me of someone I met in South Concession. He has a blue gem on there, and shorter and fatter than you.."  
  
"Oh you're talking about Strong Bad. As far as I know, he's trying to slow down the Empire at South Concession right now with the Cheat as we speak."  
  
"Okay. Well anyways, I guess I should help you. Do note that I have some errands to run so don't panic if I leave indefinately okay?"  
  
"Okay. It's best to stick together anyways."  
  
"Now, the Empire have built a base somewhere. They seem to be after Castle Pomo next."  
  
"Well what are we waiting for? Lets get them!"  
  
With the discussion out of the way, Stinkoman and Homeschool Winner then leave from the location of the house and then find a way to get off the place. "There has to be a way to get off of here and back to the others," Stinkoman explained.  
  
They continue along, having to put up with some new enemies, and unfortunately, Stinkoman hasn't been around these places and thus didn't know what the enemies were. Of course, that cow-helicopter critter rushed in on enemies, mistaking them for little worms in the ground and annihilated them. Of course, they meet up with a Merchant riding on top of a Chocobo. Both Stinkoman and Homeschool get some stuff from the merchant: Some plumed hats for Stinkoman and Homeschool, and Shurikens and Inviz Edges for Homeschool. Stinkoman was curious. "What do you need those for?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"Because I happen to be a 2nd degree ninja," Homeschool replied, "I had to train anyways due to the amount of monsters and throwing stuff at them was part of my training anyways."  
  
"Oh, now I understand."  
  
After the discussion, the two continue walking, and they sight some sort of camp on a small patch of desert. As they entered, Homeschool notices that it's a place where the Empire is camping out at! "By the way, I forgot to tell you, the Empire is camping out here," Homeschool said.  
  
"Yeah, it appears so," Stinkoman replied.  
  
"It's an imperial base, there's too many soldiers," Homeschool tells Stinkoman.  
  
They both hide behind somewhere. Two soldiers were talking. "Hey, did you hear..." One soldier said.  
  
"Oh, you mean..." The other soldier interrupted.  
  
"Shhh! Quiet down! If that Children/Arrowed Guy catches us, we'll be MSG'd, or worse, Cerebellum'd! If he manages to drive General Quarterman out of our battalion, he'll probably become the next general!"  
  
"Don't make me laugh! If someone like Children/Arrowed Guy becomes a general, I'm heading straight home, no questions!"  
  
"Hey! Keep it down! If Children/Arrowed Guy hears you, it's jail time for you!"  
  
"Alright, Alright!" Then that soldier noticed the Children/Arrowed Guy coming, "Uh-oh! Here he comes! Back to our posts!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy came along. "Hey you two! Keeping a sharp lookout?" He said.  
  
"Yes sir," One of the Imperial Soldiers replied, "You're the Children/Arrowed Guy aren't you? How are you?"  
  
"Save your petty small talk for another time!" Children/Arrowed Guy told the soldier, "Just do your freaking job or I'll threaten to run you over with my Children truck!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed guy walked away, laving the Imperial Soldiers where they are. "Whew! Somebody has got to put that guy away," the other Imperial Soldier commented.  
  
"Shhhh!" The Imperial Soldier that talked to Children/Arrowed Guy replied, "Do I have to keep telling you to keep it down?!? You're hopeless, man!"  
  
Just then, a punting dino came by and punted the both of them! PUNT! "Ow. That Punting dino gives me the creeps, and not the only reason I hate that Children/Arrowed Guy either. Like, I don't even think he's human, unlike General Quarterman..."  
  
"Agreed."  
  
Just then, the two were then given their attention towards a Commander. "You two, we're about to storm Pomo Castle now! You two will join the Assault team!" He said.  
  
At Pomo Castle....  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Imperial Troops, and those in Magitek Armors, as well as Punting Dinos, are at the front gate of the Castle. The commander shouted, "Attack!"  
  
And the troops then began attacking. The sentries of Pomo castle holded them off, but of course they knew they couldn't do it forever. Inside the castle, one sentry was sweating. "It's hopeless," the sentry said, "We cannot keep them out!"  
  
The other sentry replied, "So, it's finally happening eh?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (A moment, sir!) A mysterious voice said, "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Allow me the honor!)  
  
The sentries looked and saw who it was. It was the castle's faithful retainer, Pom Pom. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (If we can defeat their commander, they will surely give up.) Pom Pom continued, "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Let us give it a try!)  
  
"Sir Pom Pom! Let them have it!" A Pomo sentry told him.  
  
Pom Pom then walked er, bounced his way through the castle until he got to the front entrance, where he saw the Imperial Soldiers still trying to get in. Pom Pom went towards the Commander. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I am Pom Pom, retainer to the King of Pomo. I am your worst nightmare!), Pom Pom told the Commander.  
  
The Commander attacked with his battle axe, but missed Pom Pom. Pom Pom strikes the Commander, but unfortunately the attack gets blocked by the Commander's shield. Pom Pom gets hit, but still not beaten. Pom Pom decides to use something he calls a 'Swordtech', and uses dispatch on the Commander, outright annihilating it. The Imperial Soldiers noticed that Pom Pom slayed their commander. "The general's been defeated! Run for it!" One of the soldiers said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Walled up in there, we can wait our enemy!), Pom Pom said, as he returned inside Pomo Castle.  
  
Back at the imperial base...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Imperial troops are running like maniacs. Of course, General Quarterman came out and noticed one of the soldiers running up to him. "What's the problem?" General Quarterman asked.  
  
"The Citizens of Pomo got us, and Pom Pom just slayed our commander!" The Imperial Soldier replied, "And on top of that, they all seem to be a waiting game!"  
  
"So? That's their strategy. Looks like you need some brains."  
  
"Excuse me, don't try that on me. It ain't funny. It's bad enough that the Children/Arrowed guy Cerebellum'd Cheerleader after you said that to her!"  
  
"Oops, sorry."  
  
"So anyways General, we are ready to take the castle. Just give the order..."  
  
"Patience! If we just go ahead and attack now, death toll will be very high, and too much sacrifice is in there."  
  
"But General! I'm ready to lay down my life for the Empire!"  
  
"Uh, you're from Marooneda right?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. Why do you ask?"  
  
"And your family lives there? If you fall in battle, I'll have to deliver the bad news... What should I say to them? Come on! You have a life to get back to someday. Don't throw it all away like that. The King of Town wouldn't want that."  
  
"Yes sir, and I don't even know why the King of Town would care about us anyways. He cares more about food than us."  
  
"That may be so, but that doesn't mean that..."  
  
Before General Quarterman could continue, an Imperial Soldier came to him. "General Quarterman!" the Imperial Soldier said, "A carrier pigeon from the King of Town!"  
  
"What..?" General Quarterman responded, "I guess I'm being summoned by that King of Town."  
  
"I understand sir," the Imperial Soldier said.  
  
"Right, I'll leave Pomo in your hands," General Quarterman replies.  
  
"Yes, Sir."  
  
"Okay. Just don't jump the gun. Don't want many casulties there now, do we?"  
  
"Got it, Sir! Leave it to us!"  
  
"Right. I'll be off I guess. Just got to go get ready in that tent."  
  
As the General went off into the tent, Stinkoman commented. "That guy got some spunk!" Stinkoman tells Homeschool, "I wish he were a friend of mine, if he weren't with the enemy that is..."  
  
Stinkoman was about to go further, until Homeschool stopped him and put him back. "Stinkoman!" Homeschool said, "I wouldn't jump out there right now..."  
  
Stinkoman looked and saw the Children/Arrowed Guy walk by. "Now that Quarterman's gone, I'll turn the water into a flowing cesspool of crap-filtered sewage!" He said.  
  
General Quarterman came back out. "Children/Arrowed Guy," General Quarterman tells the Children/Arrowed Guy, "The King of Town has ordered me to return home. I do not want any trouble here, especially anything having to do with the Poopsmith!"  
  
"Gah you loser!" Children/Arrowed Guy responded, "I'll be taking care of the situation in no time, and like I would do something like let the Poopsmith fill the river with crap!"  
  
"Don't be so Pompous, and I was referring to the word itself, and not the giant ship aliens invade in the game PO'ed either. Also DON'T forget that they are PEOPLE and FUNNY CREATURE THINGYS too, just like you and me! Don't lose your brains on this, like you did with Cheerleader."  
  
"We need not spare those that part with the Returners, and as for that Cheerleader, well you told her that she needed some brains, and I gave them to her!"  
  
"Yeah, but I did not expect you to do that."  
  
"Okay. Well see ya."  
  
Quarterman then left the area. The Children/Arrowed guy thought to himself: 'You just go pretend to be a good little boy...!'  
  
The Children/Arrowed guy went to see the Imperial Soldier behind the river. "Is the crap ready?" Children/Arrowed Guy asked.  
  
"But General Quarterman just..." The Imperial Soldier tried to say back.  
  
"He's no longer here! I'm in charge now, so get the Poopsmith to shovel crap into the river!"  
  
"But some of our people is inside that castle as prisoners! If we fill the river with crap..."  
  
"Do it! Take them all out! Get the Poopsmith to do it now or I'll have you Arrowed!"  
  
Stinkoman and Homeschool Winner jumped out. "Hey! I don't think so!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"That is so inhuman!" Homeschool added.  
  
"Oh, if it isn't Stinkoman and Homeschool Winner," Children/Arrowed Guy said, "But I'm afraid you're history you two!"  
  
"You'll be history yourself!!" Stinkoman replied loudly.  
  
Stinkoman struck the Children/Arrowed Guy right in the gut. "Ow! That hurt!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted in pain.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy ran away, and Stinkoman said, "Hey! Get back here wimp!"  
  
"Yeah right! You say 'wait!', and do I even look like a freaking waiter?!?" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted back.  
  
Stinkoman kept shouting 'wait' at the Children/Arrowed Guy as both Stinkoman and Homeschool continue to chase him. "Haha! What a toad!" Children/Arrowed Guy said evilly.  
  
Unfortunately, he got a swift pummel from Stinkoman, hurting him more. "Ouch! I have a headache now!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted.  
  
"John the Bald Guy, wait up you loonie!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"Do I even look like a waiter still? And I'm the Children/Arrowed Guy, and not John the Bald Guy!" Children/Arrowed Guy applied rudely.  
  
Stinkoman and Homeschool continue to chase the Children/Arrowed Guy down to the river. "Do you expect me to put up with a couple of nimrods like you two?" Children/Arrowed Guy said, "Next time, you will be a goner!"  
  
Despite what the Children/Arrowed Guy said, Stinkoman and Homeschool still continued to give chase, until they got caught up by a Commander. "Oh gripe!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted, "Hey, if you know what's good for you..."  
  
The Commander then springed in and attacked. Stinkoman dodged it's axe and pounded at it. Of course, the Commander countered with a hit in the head. "Ow! My head! It hurts so bad!" Stinkoman shouted in pain.  
  
Homeschool Winner's eyes went angry, and he then threw some shurikens at the offending Commander who hurted Stinkoman pretty bad. The Commander collapsed. Of course, it was too late, both Stinkoman and Homeschool watched in horror as the Children/Arrowed Guy was already at the river. "Okay Poopsmith," Children/Arrowed Guy said, "Just shovel that crap into the river and it will make everyone in Castle Pomo sick!"  
  
The Poopsmith holded up a sign reading 'Why would I want to do that?'  
  
"Uh, could you please talk?" Children/Arrowed Guy asked.  
  
The Poopsmith then held up a sign reading 'I'm taking a long vow of silence, in fact one that's longer than you think.'  
  
"Fine," Children/Arrowed Guy replied, "But please shovel the crap into the river will ya?"  
  
The Poopsmith listened and then shoveled out a whole bunch of crap and put it into the water. The water went to an ugly shade of brown in no time. The Children/Arrowed Guy grinned as he said, "Haa haa haa! Nothing can beat the music of a billion moans and growns from the sick people of Pomo! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"  
  
At Castle Pomo...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Pom Pom was looking from above, and he noticed that the river was getting browner and browner. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Something is really wrong there), Pom Pom said to himself.  
  
"Sir Pom Pom!" A Pomo sentry tells him, "The Empire's base is rustling with activity. Something is going on here?"  
  
Pom Pom knew it already. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Something is wrong. That water looks odd.) Pom Pom answered.  
  
"Sir Pom Pom!" The Pomo sentry tells him.  
  
"*bubble*" (This is CRAP!)  
  
One by one, the sentries of Pomo collapsed and with an illness. Most died from it, while some are still alive but really sick. One of the sentries even fell into the crap-infested water as well.  
  
"What lowdown and contemptible..." The Pomo sentry said.  
  
"*bubble*" (Guard our liege!) Pom Pom tells him.  
  
"To the king, on the double Pom Pom!"  
  
Pom Pom then bounced his way through the castle to the king's throne. He was getting near. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Right! The king's room should be near!) Pom Pom said.  
  
Pom Pom rushed into the throne room and noticed that the king already has collapsed. Pom Pom rushed to him. "*bubble* *bubble*" (Your highness! Fear not!) Pom Pom told the king.  
  
"Who's there?" The king asked.  
  
"*bubble*" (Pom Pom, excellency.)  
  
"Indeed! Pom Pom, my sight is going fast... I can't see a thing... And I'm too sick to live anymore..."  
  
"*bubble*" (Excellency, hang on!)  
  
"Pom Pom, you have defended my father's realms since the day you crash-landed into the castle... hack... cough... After we took care of you after that crash... *wheeze* Thank you... It's over... I'm afraid our kingdom is now through."  
  
A big sign reading 'It's Over!' appears. Pom Pom got angry and slashed it to tiny pieces. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Stupid ridiculous and pointless signs appearing out of nowhere!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
Pom Pom turned back to the king. "*bubble*" (Not yet, highness!) Pom Pom said.  
  
"I fear for your family from the island of Pom..... unn... getting weaker...." The king replied.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Save your strength! Don't talk!)  
  
"Go... Run to your family... hack... gasp....."  
  
"*BUBBLE*" (HIGHNESS!)  
  
It was no use. The king died. Pom Pom's face was sad. 'Why did that have to happen?' Pom Pom thought. Just then, a Pomo sentry came running in. "Sir Pom Pom!" He shouted.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (There still has to be survivors in this castle!) Pom Pom answered.  
  
"Okay then. Lets split up."  
  
Pom Pom then searched around the castle. All Pom Pom could find were the dead bodies of the Pomo sentries. Pom Pom decided to check his room, but of course what he found there wasn't very pleasant. Pom Pom found his mom dead. "*bubble* *bubble*" (Mom, wake up!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
Pom Pom's mom did not wake up. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Crappity crap! This can't be happening!)  
  
Pom Pom then went to the bed and saw that his younger brother did not budge either. "*bubble* *bubble" (Owain brother! Not you too!)  
  
Pom Pom's sad face went to an angry face. All he could think about was the hatred he had towards the Empire, and the deaths they caused to his family and nearly the whole castle. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (D... Dear Me! I... impossible! Idiotic!!! We cannot forgive this! The Empire must pay!)  
  
Pom Pom dashed out of the Castle Pomo and arrived at the imperial base. He saw some Imperial Soldiers come this way. Also, the Children/Arrowed Guy ran away. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I am Pom Pom, the retainer to the formerly living king of Pomo!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
"It's the enemy! Get him!" An Imperial Soldier told the others.  
  
Stinkoman and Homeschool Winner, expecting to find the Children/Arrowed Guy here. "It's Pom Pom!" Homeschool said.  
  
"Pom Pom, huh?" Stinkoman replied, "His name and build reminds me of someone back at 20X6, only that Pom Pom does not look like a panda in any way."  
  
"We need to help him Stinkoman! Set bets to battle!"  
  
Stinkoman leaped in and kicked an Imperial Soldier hard in the head, sending it flying into the crap-filled river. Homeschool bashed at the other Imperial Soldier and finished off with some shurikens. Pom Pom was shocked. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Homeschool Winner! Thank goodness you're here!) Pom Pom said, "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (And who is this Strong Bad lookalike?)  
  
"Uh this is Stinkoman," Homeschool replied, "Mind if we give you a hand here?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I really really need help alright!) Pom Pom said.  
  
More Imperial Soldiers came running towards. Stinkoman jumps up and does his grand flash attack. "DDDOOOOOUUUUBBBBLLLLLEEEE DEEEEEUUUUUCCCEEEE!!" Stinkoman shouted in a way that sounded like an attack. Both Imperial Soldiers died instantly. Of course, now there were Templars who joined in. Homeschool plugged away at throwing stuff at the soldiers, but the Templars simply blocked the stuff thrown and attacked Homeschool. Stinkoman couldn't pummel at the commanders. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I'll take of them easily!) Pom Pom shouted as he got into his Swordtech stance, "Quadra Slam!!!"  
  
Pom Pom then moved fast, leaving afterimages of himself, and he slammed into the Templars, with one hit after another, until four successful blows were delivered amongst both Templars. The Templars collapsed as Homeschool noticed that many more Templars and soldiers are coming their way. "We'll never take them all down!" Homeschool shouted, "We need to escape with Magitek armor!"  
  
The three run for the platform with the Magitek Armors on the ground in front. "*bubble* *bubble*" (What in the world are these?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"We'll explain later Pom Pom," Stinkoman replied, "Just climb in!"  
  
Stinkoman pushed Pom Pom into one of the Magitek Armors. Of course, Pom Pom's use of it was even worse than Homestar Runner's. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Sir Stinkoman! How can these abominations be manipulated?) Pom Pom asked, while still having extreme trouble using it.  
  
"What's with that accent?" Stinkoman replied, "Thou art such a pain in the... Oh dammit! Now I'm talking weirdly like you! Now listen. Use the levers located by your hands okay?"  
  
"*bubble*" (Okay, I got it now.)  
  
Pom Pom finally manages to pilot the Magitek Armor properly, but is still running into Imperial Soldiers. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Stinkoman, I'm in your debt, and sorry about that accent by the way.) Pom Pom said.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?" An imperial soldier asked.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Ahh! I can't stop now!) Pom Pom said.  
  
Stinkoman and Pom Pom pilot the Magitek Armors and meet up with Homeschool Winner, who is also piloting Magitek Armor as well. "Lets get out of here!" Homeschool told them both.  
  
The three pilot their Magitek Armors back the way they came, but they were surrounded. "End of the line!" An imperial soldier shouted.  
  
Another Imperial Soldier said, "There's nowhere to run!"  
  
The three make a run for where Stinkoman and Homeschool Winner entered the imperial base from. Of course, yet another Imperial Soldier, this time in Magitek Armor attacks them. It attacks with Tek-Laser first, striking a blow on Pom Pom. "*bubble* *bubble*" (I really don't like this guy.) Pom Pom commented.  
  
The Imperial Soldier then attacked again with thunder beam, and nearly got Homeschool annihilated. Homeschool fought back with an ice beam, but the Magitek armor the Imperial soldier inside was still standing. Stinkoman leaped at the Imperial soldier in his Magitek Armor and struck the finishing blow with an Ice beam, freezing the whole thing in place, and then shatter moments later. "Wow!" Stinkoman said, "I need one of these back at 20X6. There's this group of enemies that..."  
  
"Stinkoman!" Homeschool interrupted, "Now is not the time to talk about wanting Magitek Armor for your world!"  
  
"Okay then. We've made it this far so far... Now how do we get from Cheatshe from here?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Cheatshe eh? Only one route, through the forest to the south of this base.) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"Okay then, let's get going!"  
  
The three leap out of their Magitek Armors and make a run from the base, and cross the bridge. They continue moving, but they run into some enemies that just aren't happy to see them. "These are the first couple of dorks ever on this section of the world," Stinkoman commented.  
  
It's a couple of beakers. One attempted to attack Homeschool, which he managed to block, and of course that creature crossed between a cow and a helicopter rushed in after it, thinking the beaker was a worm, and destroyed it. Stinkoman pounds the other beaker like no tomorrow, and sending it flying into the sky. After the beakers were out of the way, the three continue across the other bridge and then make a right turn. There's a forest ahead and mountains that seem to surround it. They enter the forest. It was pretty spooky. "I don't think we should be here," Homeschool said.  
  
"Come on," Stinkoman replied, "This is clearly the only way to get to Cheatshe."  
  
They continue walking on through this forest. It was a really big forest. None of them knew what the name of the forest was. Of course they didn't know the name of it until Pom Pom found a sign saying what the name of the forest was. "*bubble* *bubble*" (This is the Phantom Forest!) Pom Pom told Stinkoman and Homeschool.  
  
"That's such a ridiculous name," Stinkoman replied, "Like this is the Phantom Forest!"  
  
Of course, a ghost was behind Stinkoman. "Stinkoman, watch out!" Homeschool yelled.  
  
The ghost attacked, knocking Stinkoman to the ground. He got up and looked up. "Wah! A ghost!" Stinkoman shouted, "Now I know why this forest is called the Phantom Forest!"  
  
Stinkoman attacks the ghost with an Aura Bolt, putting the ghost out of it's misery. More ghosts appeared. "*bubble* *bubble*" (Yikes! More ghosts!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
The three run to try and evade the ghosts. Of course, they easily got lost, and didn't know where to go. Homeschool stopped. "I'm not letting those ghosts get the best of us!" He said.  
  
Homeschool tossed shurikens at the ghosts, which somehow managed to destroy each one of them. After they were out of the way, the three continue to find their way around the Phantom Forest. Of course, they only found their way to a train station.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (A train's here? I thought Pomo's railway got destroyed!) Pom Pom said.  
  
"There could be survivors inside!" Stinkoman replied, "We can get in right through that door!"  
  
"*bubble*" (Stinkoman!) Pom Pom yelled.  
  
"We can't just wonder around this forest forever! We've already managed to get lost in the forest already!"  
  
"*bubble*" (But Stinkoman!)  
  
"There isn't a problem with this Pom Pom!"  
  
"*bubble*" (Stinkoman!)  
  
"Stop it, Pom Pom!"  
  
Stinkoman dashed into the entrance of the train. Homeschool sweat-dropped. "This is no place for us.." Homeschool commented.  
  
Homeschool and Pom Pom went after Stinkoman into the train. "What the..?" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Let me off! The train's haunted!)  
  
"Train haunted? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! You said the train was haunted, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Stinkoman joked.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (This is no laughing matter Stinkoman!)  
  
The train then moved. "The train's moving already!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (If we don't get out of here now...) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"Then something bad could happen to us!" Homeschool added.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (So, we need to get out of here now!) Pom Pom told Stinkoman.  
  
"Fine. We'll get out of this train for crying out loud!" Stinkoman replied.  
  
Stinkoman grabbed the handle for the door. Unfortunately, it wouldn't budge. "It's locked!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble*" (We're too late...) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"What's with this train anyways?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I hate to say this to you two, but this is the Phantom Train. It carries the departed to... the other side.)  
  
"Uh-Oh, that doesn't sound good!" Homeschool replied.  
  
"OH NO! THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (We have to go sometime Stinkoman...) Pom Pom replied.  
  
Stinkoman swinged his fist, then pounded into the door as hard as he could. The door didn't break, and Stinkoman's fist cracked. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! My fist!" Stinkoman shouted in pain.  
  
"Stinkoman, nearly the whole train cannot be busted whatsoever," Homeschool reminded Stinkoman.  
  
"Come on!" Stinkoman replied, "I have training and fighting stuff to do, and I'm not gonna squander it all away this way!"  
  
"Okay then. We'll find a way to get to the front of the Phantom Train and find a way to stop it. It gives me the creeps already."  
  
The three then walk through the first cart, where ghosts are roaming. Unfortunately, some don't take it lightly to the visit of the three of our heroes. Some of the ghosts actually attacked them, able to use fire. Pom Pom uses his Swordtech techniques to thwart the ghosts that are attacking, but mostly using dispatch. Stinkoman pummels some of the ghosts that attacked, and Homeschool and that creature crossed between a cow and a helicopter dispatched the last few hostile ghosts around the cart. They were about to leave, until a ghost came up to them. "Huh?" Stinkoman said, "It looks like this ghost wants to help us..."  
  
So, they decide to let the ghost help them. They leave the current train car and then walk into the next one. Of course, this one was a little different than the previous one. There's still more ghosts around, but of course some specific ones were actually more noticable. Stinkoman looked around. "Hey!" Stinkoman said, "Some of these ghosts belong to some really famous people. I can see the Tom Baker variation of the Doctor from 'Doctor Who' over there."  
  
"And I see Miku Hinasaki from Fatal Frame over there!" Homeschool said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (You two, concentrate on escaping than looking at the familiar faces!) Pom Pom reminded them both.  
  
The two then rejoined Pom Pom and the three continue through, going by the familiar faces. Of course, some of the same ghosts that the three fought before went after them. Homeschool Winner tossed a shuriken at one ghost, while Pom Pom used the Swordtech 'Quadra Slam' to hit multiple ghosts at once. The ghosts were put out of their misery, but then some different enemies popped up and attacked. Creatures called Bombs attacked, and shadowy entities called 'whispers' attacked too. Stinkoman noticed that the whispers are getting weaker by the minute, and gets the crazy idea of using a Phoenix Down. "Stinkoman!!!" Homeschool yelled at Stinkoman, "What are you doing with that Phoenix Down?!?"  
  
"These creeps are undead," Stinkoman explains, "And if you give them anything that's life, it will kill them off. Talk about slaying the undead right?"  
  
"I get it now."  
  
Homeschool then took another Phoenix Down and used it on the other Whisper that attacked them. Sure enough, the Whisper died because of being given a Phoenix Down. The Bombs were easy to handle for Pom Pom, because he used 'Quadra Slam' once again to defeat them. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I do not like this place not only because it leads to the other side, but also because it's filled with baddies that want to cause trouble!) Pom Pom commented.  
  
The three continue through and leave out of the current truck and are back outside. They enter the next train car. They find a ruckus there. A certain yellow-skinned person is there. "This place is nice," He said.  
  
"That's Homer Simpson," Stinkoman reminds the others, "He's one of the main characters of the Simpsons."  
  
There was some more talking. The other Simpsons family members Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are here as well. "Homer," Marge said to Homer, "Why are you taking this lightly? This train is evil!"  
  
Bart still found it excellent, albeit still a little nervous. "This train's the bomb!" Bart said, "Except for that part where we go to the other side."  
  
"Bart," Lisa replied, "This train is no place for us, but because we died to some loser nearly-white person..."  
  
"Oh, you mean that dreaded Children/Arrowed Guy who works with the King of Town at the Empire?" Stinkoman interrupted.  
  
"Uh, now that you put it that way..." Lisa replied.  
  
"So, who got the all of you annihilated anyways?"  
  
A train car door opened ahead. He had yellow skin too, and a red beard. "Uh, Groundskeeper Willy?" Homeschool guessed.  
  
"Yes, a scotsman like myself did it!" Willy replied, "I set it up so that most of us got sent here. Then Whelk gave us the boot!"  
  
"Yeah," Homer added, "And it's all your fault you did that!"  
  
"Call it revenge for trying to get away with my grease before!"  
  
Stinkoman jumped in. "You're both crazy!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Homer replied.  
  
"I'm Stinkoman, and if you two don't knock it off with this fighting, I'll really knock the both of you around.  
  
Homer panicked. Groundskeeper Willy wasn't phased. "You think you'd pick a fight against a Grease Scotsman?" Willy said, "Try me!"  
  
Stinkoman just swiftly kicked Groundskeeper Willy in the gut, sending him flying through the previous train cars, and ending up holding on the end of the most back train car. Willy climbed back in, and ran back. "Ow! I've never seen such strength? You some kind of robot human or what?" Willy asked.  
  
"I'm both, because I'm living and breathing," Stinkoman replied, "And I can also be considered a robot too because of how shiny I am, and the boots I'm wearing. They're robot boots!"  
  
"Yipes! I'm not gonna cause trouble again! You've set me straight!"  
  
Groundskeeper Willy ran to the far end of the train car and never came out. Homer and Marge were surprised. "Man, you're a savior to us!" Homer said.  
  
"And just for keeping that horrible-annoying Scotsman away from us," Marge added.  
  
"Thanks all of you," Stinkoman replied, "You're all welcome!"  
  
Stinkoman and the others then walk out of the train car and head for the next one. Of course, the entrance to the next train car was on the side, like the one the three entered when the first entered the Phantom Train. They got in there and saw there was a ruckus. Ghosts were gathered around inside at one spot. "What's going on?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
The ghost responded. "*sigh*, it's another one of those big arguments between someone with funny-looking blonde hair and blue eyes and another person with long black hair and purple eyes."  
  
"*bubble*" (Purple eyes?) Pom Pom replied, "*bubble* *bubble*" (Isn't that against the laws of physics?)  
  
"Not really Pom Pom. It's usually because of the people that created those characters. The two that are arguing over there are Clover and Mandy."  
  
"Clover and Mandy?!?" Stinkoman responded, "Aren't those two in that TV show Totally Spies?"  
  
"Precisely, Stinkoman." The ghost said to Stinkoman.  
  
"Now this is weird," Homeschool commented, "So far all we came up to are Final Fantasy 6 characters and our pals and stuff, now we seem to be meeting other characters from other games, cartoons and shows!"  
  
"It seems like that, which explains why we spotted the likes of the 4th Doctor, Sarah Jane Smith, Miku Hinasaki, and..."  
  
"Okay, enough chatting Stinkoman."  
  
Stinkoman then stopped. Of course, Stinkoman noticed there was a phone at the very end of the current car. "One of us should notify the others!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"I'll do it," Homeschool replied.  
  
Homeschool went to the phone, and checked the phone book. He found the number for the Arvis' house in Cheatshe. He dialed the number and then the phone rang. At Cheatshe...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
At Cheatshe, Bubs was bored and was reading. The phone nearby him rang. Bubs took the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" Bubs said.  
  
"Hi Bubs, this is Homeschool Winner," Homeschool replied on the other line.  
  
"Hey there Homeschool, what's up?"  
  
"Well, me, Stinkoman and Pom Pom got caught in the, uh..."  
  
"the what?"  
  
"the Phantom Train!"  
  
"My goodness! Doesn't that train send the deceased to the other side? How did you get here?"  
  
"Stinkoman got cocky and thought it was a good idea to enter the train. We could have avoided it, but Stinkoman thought it wasn't a good idea to search further in the forest."  
  
"Man, I'm sure gonna miss you all, especially Pom Pom."  
  
"Actually, the three of us will find a way to escape from the Phantom Train. We'll try to stop the train as best as we can."  
  
"Okay then. Hope you pull through! Bye."  
  
Bubs puts the phone back, and he saw Homestar Runner walk into the room. "Uh, who were you tawkin' to?" Homestar asked.  
  
"Oh it's Homeschool Winner," Bubs replied, "Still doing okay and fine, other than the part where he, Stinkoman and Pom Pom are stuck in the Phantom Train."  
  
"Pom Pom? Pom Pom's steiil aelive? Dat is sooo gweat news!"  
  
"Assuming they even escape the Phantom Train alive that is."  
  
"Uh, why would this Phanthom Train be dangerwous anyways?"  
  
"It sends the deceased to the other side."  
  
"Oh, uh, I don't get whut you mean by other side..."  
  
"Well, we'll find out when they get here safely."  
  
"Speaking of which, I wunder how Stwong Bad and teh Cheat is doin'..."  
  
Back at the Phantom Train...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Homeschool put the phone down and turned around, only to be shocked at what he sees. Stinkoman is amidst the arguement. "Clover is the maniac!" Mandy yelled.  
  
"No, Mandy is the maniac!" Clover yelled back, "She always bashes at what we do and always gets away with the hot guys."  
  
"ENOUGH!" Stinkoman shouted, "You both are acting like idiots!"  
  
Clover and Mandy stopped shouting at each other and looked at Stinkoman. Pom Pom couldn't bear it. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Oh man Stinkoman! You had to do that didn't you?) Pom Pom said, having awkward eyes.  
  
Back in the argument, things were under control, or so Stinkoman thought. Both Clover and Mandy are still arguing and about to boil up into a serious argument. Stinkoman then shouted, "KNOCK IT OFF OR I'LL GIVE YOU THE MOST LIFE-ALTERING EXPERIENCE OF PAIN EVER!!!"  
  
Clover went silent. "Whoa! Rude uh, robot," Clover responded. "What's with the threat, and who the hell are you?"  
  
"I'm the greatest fighter if there ever was one, Stinkoman!" Stinkoman told Clover.  
  
Mandy didn't take it seriously with the threat Stinkoman said before. "I'm not gonna let a freak robot like you mess with me. I happened to beat a single Super-villain before, and I'll show you!!"  
  
"YOU'RE ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE?!?!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"I DEFINATELY AM!"  
  
Stinkoman then ran to get in position. "You've been warned Mandy! Never mess with Stinkoman!"  
  
Mandy ran forward and kicked Stinkoman, knocking him against the wall of the car. Stinkoman got up and Aura-bolted Mandy away. Of course, Mandy decided to grab Pom Pom and threw him towards Stinkoman, nearly crushing Stinkoman to death. "Ow! That's a dirty trick!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (It wasn't me Stinkoman!) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"Not you Pom Pom! That dirty witch Mandy!"  
  
Pom Pom got off Stinkoman, now his eyes angry. "*bubble* *bubble*" (You're so dead, Mandy!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
Mandy did not understand what Pom Pom said, and said: "Excuse me, what did that loser pointy bouncing ball just say?!?"  
  
Stinkoman said, "Pom Pom said that you are so dead, Mandy!"  
  
Stinkoman dashed in and got Mandy with 'pummel', while Pom Pom used the Swordtech technique 'retort'. Mandy collapsed to the ground. "That's a lesson for messing with us," Stinkoman told Mandy.  
  
"I'm not done yet!" Mandy responded.  
  
Before Mandy could even get to hurting Stinkoman big time, the ghost that followed Stinkoman, Pom Pom, and Homeschool Winner jumped ahead. "I'll possess her, and of course I'll not be able to see you again, so this is goodbye," The ghost said to Stinkoman and Pom Pom.  
  
The ghost then leaped into Mandy, causing her to collapse. She was still alive, but in critical condition. Her lackeys found her. "You three will pay for hurting Mandy! Count on it!" One of them said.  
  
"Whatever!" Stinkoman replied, "Just remember not to mess with us!!"  
  
Mandy was then carried away by her lackeys. Clover was shocked. "Wow!" Clover said, "That's some pretty good stuff, but how come you both are equal in power to Sabin and Cyan?"  
  
"Uh, now is not the time to talk about this," Homeschool replied from afar, "We need to escape from this train."  
  
"Hello, this train is like totally unescapable."  
  
Of course, the other ghosts overheard. "N.o... e.s.c.a.p.e...!" They chanted.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Oh great! They're onto us!) Pom Pom said.  
  
"Hey Pom Pom and Stinkoman," Homeschool tells them, "Lets leave this car and head for the next one."  
  
Clover then jumped in. "Uh now that you mention it, mind if I join you? My friends Sam and Alex are in a different car of the Phantom Train." She said.  
  
"Okay then," Stinkoman replied, "Looks like we need an extra hand, because after all, we just lost a ghost already to that witch. And to explain the whole thing about me and Pom Pom using Sabin and Cyan's attacks, we probably are equal in power to them. Perhaps Homeschool is the 'Shadow' of this world."  
  
"Stinkoman!" Homeschool yelled, "Like I'm in the manner of that assassin? Please! Just because I'm part ninja doesn't make me act like Shadow!"  
  
"Okay then, I'll stop now."  
  
Both were interrupted by the familar chanting of ghosts. "N.o... e.s.c.a.p.e...!" The ghosts continued chanting.  
  
Stinkoman, Pom Pom, Homeschool, and Clover make a run for the door, but a ghost is in front, which Stinkoman Aura-bolted. They run outside and then climb up the ladder to the roof of the car. "Whoa! They're still coming!" Stinkoman shouted.  
  
The ghosts had them cornered. "You can't escape.... Nowhere to run... Nowhere to hide..." The ghosts chanted.  
  
"This is gonna be risky," Stinkoman tells the others, "We'll have to jump from train cart to train cart to get away from those people!"  
  
Everyone got together, and then Stinkoman backed up, and then ran towards and jumped, and jumped again. Unfortunately, on the third train cart they landed on, it had a hole in there, sending the four falling, but not off the train. "Ow, that hurt!" Homeschool commented.  
  
"At least we got away from those ghosts..." Stinkoman added.  
  
"Uh, I would not be sure about that," Clover told him.  
  
The four looked and saw that the ghosts are still pursuing, chanting "N.o... e.s.c.a.p.e...!"  
  
"Bloody persistant freaks there is!" Stinkoman shouted, "We've got to detach the rear train cars!"  
  
Stinkoman and Pom Pom ran in the next train car, and surprisingly, found the switch to detach the rear train cars. Stinkoman flips the switch, and Homeschool and Clover watch as the rear train car goes away. "I really hope Sam and Alex weren't in there," Clover said.  
  
Homeschool and Clover rejoin Stinkoman and Pom Pom inside the train car. Stinkoman couldn't figure out about the gate. "There's no switch for this gate!" Stinkoman said.  
  
Pom Pom decided to flip the switch again. The door opened. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Didn't you think of flipping the switch again Stinkoman?)  
  
Ahead, the four saw a really terrible argument there. It was the Barones! Raymond Barone, Debra Barone, Frank Barone, and Marie Barone. The kids were also there but they were sitting elsewhere because of the argument.  
  
"Stinkoman..." Homeschool tried to warn.  
  
Unfortunately, Stinkoman had to run towards them. "Hey! What's with all of you squabbling?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"Well, Ray touched a curse copy of the Final Fantasy Anthology, then Frank got us all killed!" Debra responded.  
  
Clover was shocked. "Oh my gosh! That's the same fate I had!" Clover said.  
  
Back at the argument, Ray tried to back up. "Oh come on," Raymond said, "My dad got that and I didn't get us to this situation!"  
  
"Raymond Barone," Debra replied, "You shouldn't have had that abomination to begin with!"  
  
"Holy Crap!" Frank commented.  
  
"Holy Crap?" Stinkoman replied, "That's Strong Bad's line!"  
  
Then the view split to two. Strong Bad and the Cheat were in the top half. "You heard Stinkoman!" Strong Bad shouted, "That's my line, and my line only!"  
  
Then the screen went back to normal.  
  
"So what if Strong Bad says that?" Frank responded, "I can say it whenever I want!"  
  
"Frank! Everyone! Stop it!" Marie shouted at everyone, "This argument is getting more ridiculous!"  
  
Clover commented. "Yeah, ridiculous as you Barones relentlessly shouting at each other and getting nowhere."  
  
"Okay Stinkoman, Clover and Pom Pom!" Homeschool said, "Lets walk away from these arguers!"  
  
The four leave the train car. "Wasn't Robert Barone supposed to be with them?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"That is strange," Homeschool replied, "Robert was always with Marie and Frank in the TV show. Why wasn't he with them?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (*ahem* the situation you two?) Pom Pom reminded them.  
  
The four then stop chatting and enter the next train car. The four are now inside a train car that's more like a restaurant. "What is this place?" Homeschool said.  
  
Stinkoman just dashed to the table and took a seat. "Hey! Food! Food!" Stinkoman shouted, "Bring me everything ya got!"  
  
"Uh, I thought you don't eat food," Homeschool told Stinkoman.  
  
"Hey, even someone like me needs to eat sometimes. I never said I wouldn't eat something. Don't let my experiences with The Homestar Runner fool you!"  
  
A ghost came by with the food. There was some awkward food there. "*bubble* *bubble*" (A... are you going to be okay if you eat THIS?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"Worried?" Stinkoman replied, "Can't wage war or challenge anyone on an empty stomach you know!"  
  
Clover got in. "Uh, you challenged Mandy while your stomach was empty," She said.  
  
Stinkoman sweat-dropped. "Well that one fight was an exception for your information!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Sir! I don't want to hear anymore of this kind of talk!) Pom Pom yelled.  
  
Stinkoman then digged in and sloppily ate everything that was on the plate. Everything was pick-cleaned.  
  
"Well, I've eaten everything here!" Stinkoman said, "Lets get going!"  
  
The ghost waiter returned to pick up the dishes. Stinkoman and the others then continued on. They left the cart through the entrance they came in, because some ghosts were barring some place. They move around and head to the next train car. This train car was different from the others, because there happened to be rows upon rows of rooms there. "Okay everyone," Homeschool said, "Sam and Alex should be in one of these rooms."  
  
The four check out the nearest room. Pom Pom finds a chest and opens it, only to get knocked back by someone. "I'm Ziegfried, professional swordsman!" He said.  
  
"Profession swordsman?" Stinkoman replied, "In what league?"  
  
"None of your business bolt-brain!"  
  
"Geesh! Don't everyone realize that I'm more human than robotic? Is it this shinyness on me that makes me look like a robot?"  
  
Ziegfried dashed towards Stinkoman and missed. Stinkoman kicked Ziegfried from behind, sending him to the ground. Homeschool tries to hit Ziegfried, but gets tripped and falls down, while Ziegfried goes after Clover. Clover managed to dodge, but the sword managed to get a shred of her hair off, making her PO'ed, and bash hard into Ziegfried.  
  
"NOBODY MESSES WITH MY HAIR!" Clover shouted.  
  
Unfortunately for the four, Ziegfried got up. "Ha!" Ziegfried said, "You all may have thwarted me, but you won't get the treasure in that chest! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"  
  
"Rude much," Clover commented, "Especially for someone who chopped part of my hair!"  
  
"Lets just keep checking the rest of the rooms okay?" Homeschool reminded her.  
  
The four then leave the room and try the next room. "This room is empty too, and there's a chest there as well," Stinkoman said.  
  
"Uh, I wouldn't open that if I were..." Homeschool tried to say, but it was too late.  
  
Stinkoman opened the chest, and out popped a Monster-in-a-box! It looked like a Whisper but of course is white instead of black. "Those Specters are too easy still," Stinkoman said as he tossed a Phoenix down at the Specter.  
  
The Specter died and left behind a sniper sight. None of them had use for it, so Stinkoman putted it away for now. The four check the next room. It was empty. "Well, this is the last of the rooms in this train car," Homeschool said, "Lets go to the next one."  
  
"Wait," Stinkoman stopped Homeschool, "We should really ask that one person over there to stop the engine."  
  
Of course, that person heard them and came up to them. "You want to stop the train? The engineer's room is after the next train car you four will go by," He said.  
  
"Thanks," Stinkoman replied.  
  
The four then leave the train car and are about to go check out the next train car, but of course a familiar figure walks in again, with that noise it makes when it moves. It was Homsar.  
  
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH," Homsar spoke, "IIIIII've jjjjuuuust wwwwwwooooooonnn teh Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! Rrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh!"  
  
Clover was confused. "Excuse me, could you please explain without that nonsense?" She asked Homsar.  
  
"Yyyyyyyyyoooooouuu have my Jenga Jam!"  
  
"Hello! I don't know what Jenga Jam is!"  
  
"Yyyyyyouuuu have my Jenga Jam and you shanked my Jenga ship, Four-Clover!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (This is getting really annoying), Pom Pom commented.  
  
"Yeah, what's with Clover's arguing?" Stinkoman added.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (I was referring to Homsar. He's so annoying that nobody except Strong Sad can stand him.)  
  
The door on the train car opened. At the door was a long-haired redhead and a blacked-hair girl. The red-head's eyes were green, and the blacked-haired girl's eyes were a cross between yellow and brown, and her skin was also darker. "Hey, would you two mind keeping it down... CLOVER!" The redhead said.  
  
Clover looks to her right and sees them. "Sam! Alex!" Clover shouted, "I thought I'd never see you two again!"  
  
"I'd thought we'd be without you Clover," Alex replied.  
  
"Yeah, but who got you here anyways?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well, these fellows," Clover replied, showing Stinkoman, Homeschool Winner, and Pom Pom, "And also got me past those bad spirits that tried to kill us, not to mention get Mandy away."  
  
Homsar was still being annoying. "Drrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!" Homsar uttered, "Yyyyyyyyyyyyyoooooouuu stilllll oweee me some Jenga Jam!"  
  
"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Stinkoman yelled, "You're incredibly lame!"  
  
Stinkoman grabbed Homsar and then booted him so hard that Homsar went flying. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII aaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm flyin' off againnnnnn," Homsar shouted, "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh!!!"  
  
"Well Clover," Stinkoman said, "Looks like the three of us will be finding a way to stop the train."  
  
"You're joking right?" Alex replied, "I tried stopping it myself but it only caused it to go rabid."  
  
"The Phantom Train going rabid? HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Stinkoman responded, "Like a train could come to life HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"  
  
"You'll be sorry if that train killed you all. The three of us died because of it!"  
  
Pom Pom sweatdropped. Of course, Homeschool reminds Stinkoman and Pom Pom that they should make their way to the engineer's room. Of course, there was one Barone there that they didn't find back behind. "What are you three doing here?" He said.  
  
"For your information Robert Barone," Stinkoman replied, "We're halting this train!"  
  
"Really? I don't think it's a good idea. You'll become the next departed if you do."  
  
"Enough of this! We're stopping the train now!"  
  
Stinkoman runs to the switches. "Um, which switches do you pull?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"I don't know," Robert replied.  
  
"Not you Robert, I'm talking to Homeschool Winner!"  
  
"Well," Homeschool replied, "According to this note, it says to shut off the first and third switches on the wall."  
  
"Got it," Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Now we need to go outside and flip another switch out there."  
  
The three then leave the room, and run to the Phantom Train's engine smokestack. There was another switch there. "This must be the final switch," Stinkoman commented.  
  
Before they could approach the switch, some more ghosts and an Overmind appeared. "Not again!" Stinkoman said, "I've had enough spooks for one day!"  
  
Stinkoman uses Aurabolt on the Overmind, while Homeschool attacks the ghosts. They were finally cleared and they reach the switch. Stinkoman flipped the switch. Sure enough, the Phantom Train was slowly stopping. "Hey it worked!" Stinkoman said to the others.  
  
Just then, a loud rumble came from the train itself. The three went scared, and of course the Phantom Train talked. "So, you three have been slowing my progress eh?" The Phantom Train said.  
  
"Yeah, and we're doing it so we can get off and escape!" Stinkoman shouted back.  
  
"Infidels! You'll all be permanent residences of this train, just like those nosey girl spies!"  
  
The Phantom Train then rumbled, sending the three flying off the Phantom Train, but also be in front of it. "Oh man," Stinkoman said, "We'll have to outrun it! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"  
  
The three run from the Phantom Train. "It's no use you three," The Phantom Train shouted, "It's the price you pay for slowing my progress down!"  
  
"I'm not about to give up!" Stinkoman shouted back at the Phantom Train.  
  
Stinkoman used the Aurabolt Blitz on the Phantom Train. Homeschool Winner tossed an Invis edge at the Phantom Train. The Phantom Train launched out several wheels at the three, which they dodged, but one managed to hit Pom Pom. "*bubble*" (Hey that hurts!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
Pom Pom got angry and decided to give the Phantom Train a piece of his mind, and uses the Swordtech 'Quadra Slam', hitting the train 4 times in a row. Unfortunately, the Phantom Train got back by using acid rain. It burned so bad for everyone, and worse yet, rusted Stinkoman slightly. "Ow! The acid hurts! What is this? Sulphuric Acid or something?" Stinkoman said.  
  
And Stinkoman was about to use his grand flash attack, but Homeschool stopped him. "Wait!" Homeschool said, "If you use that attack, you'll destroy the whole train, and everyone along with it!"  
  
"Oh great," Stinkoman replied, "And I suppose we can't easily win against this train, because I don't think it's undead."  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Hey, it worth a shot! Stinkoman, use the Phoenix Down!) Pom Pom told Stinkoman.  
  
"Okay then. Here goes nothing!" Stinkoman shouted as he leaped into the air and threw a Phoenix down at the Phantom Train. The train went out of control and was about to die, as it was wheezing and stuff. "Argh! How did they find out I was undead? Argh!" The Phantom Train shouted.  
  
The train got faster and faster and caught the three on it. They thought they would die, but then they got flipped up and landed on the engineering room roof of the train car. "Okay you three, I'll let you go... but first there is something I must do..." The Phantom Train said.  
  
Stinkoman, Homeschool, and Pom Pom waited in the same room that Sam, Clover and Alex were in. The train stopped. "*bubble*" (*gulp*, where are we?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"Well, we know you three will be leaving," Alex replied, "We're going to have to stay here and go to the other side."  
  
"That Children/Arrowed Guy will be as dead as a doornail! We promise!" Stinkoman said to Alex.  
  
Stinkoman, Homeschool Winner, and Pom Pom left, and to their surprise, they were out of the train for good this time. "Man, I need some serious fixups," Stinkoman said, "That acid just rended and rusted me! Of course I'm so glad we finally got off! We don't belong here so we must get going!"  
  
As Stinkoman waves goodbye to Sam, Clover and Alex, Pom Pom noticed something. He dashed his way towards. He saw that the ghosts of his mother, and his little brother are boarding the train. "*bubble*" (No! Mom! Bro!) Pom Pom shouted.  
  
"Uh, is that your family that the Children/Arrowed Guy infected with crap?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
Pom Pom found out that the train started to move again. (*bubble*) "Please wait!" Pom Pom shouted.  
  
Pom Pom's mother and brother came out from the view and saw that Pom Pom was after them. "You made us so happy... Don't forget us... and stop that Children/Arrowed Guy for us!" Pom Pom's mother said.  
  
"Big Bro! I'll make sure Mom's alright!" Pom Pom's brother added.  
  
And then the Phantom Train went off, and was never seen again. Pom Pom was crushed and looking down. Homeschool went to Stinkoman. "I think it's best that we leave Pom Pom to think for himself," Homeschool told Stinkoman.  
  
Stinkoman walked to Pom Pom. "Man, I feel sorry about what happened to your family," Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Forget it, there's no turning back. My family is completely gone.) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"Come on Pom Pom," Stinkoman told Pom Pom, "Lets get out of this forest now okay?"  
  
After the discussion, the three leave the Phantom Forest, and are now on the other side of the forest. The three move through the fields and go into a cave. They moved through the cave and eventually arrived on a cliff overlooking a waterfall. "Wow, this must be the Kingdom Baron Castle falls!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Uh, that's Baren falls. You're thinking of another game.) Pom Pom reminded Stinkoman, "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Anyways, to the south is the Veldt, and it's pretty oldies-looking.)  
  
"And the lame Empire is right on our tails!" Stinkoman added.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (If we slip through the Veldt, we can reach Homebliz to the east!) Pom Pom said.  
  
Of course, Homeschool took one good look and panicked. "No way I'm going down there! I promised not to get this parcel damaged! Perhaps I'll see the both of you later. Me and my pet are off now, so good luck!"  
  
Homeschool walked away. Stinkoman stopped him. "Homeschool!" Stinkoman said, "Thanks for your help! We'll see each other again!"  
  
After Homeschool and that creature crossed between a cow and a helicopter left, Stinkoman and Pom Pom jumped off the cliff and down Baren Falls. Of course, the drop down wasn't without it's dangers. Piranhas jumped out of the fall and ambushed Stinkoman and Pom Pom. Stinkoman punched the Piranhas, while Pom Pom attacked with his sword, and also made more use of his 'Quadra Slam' Swordtech. Of course, there were a LOT of Piranha in the waterfall, and more came up and bite at Pom Pom. Pom Pom removes a few of them from himself, but the others couldn't be removed. Stinkoman pounded the offending Piranhas and sending them down. Well, even MORE Piranha jumped out of the fall and attacked. "There's too many of them!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Try one of your attacks, like grand flash, or...) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"Fire dance! Oh wait, I don't know that yet. I still have yet to master it, but the first choice I'll use anyways."  
  
Stinkoman charged up immense power. "DOOOOUUUBBBBLLLEEEE DEEEEUUUUCCCEEEE!!!"  
  
Stinkoman then shot forth the grand flash, destroying the leftover Piranhas. Unfortunately, a purplish Piranha jumped out. "*bubble*" (What is that?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"It's the ever incredibly rare species of Piranha, the Rizopas!" Stinkoman explained.  
  
Before the two could go ahead and attack the Rizopas, it used an attack called 'El Nino', named after one of the most catastrophic disasters ever. Stinkoman and Pom Pom got overwhelmed by the attack and nearly died. "Oh geesh," Stinkoman said, "We're gonna be annihilated soon if we don't do something! I don't have enough power for another grand flash!"  
  
Pom Pom dug in and pulled up some potions. Both of them have one each, and are healed. They then attack the Rizopas. Stinkoman pummels it, while Pom Pom uses 'Retort'. The Rizopas still survived, and attacked again. Pom Pom got bit pretty bad, and Stinkoman tried his best to strike at the Rizopas, but still misses. Finally, Pom Pom gets the nerve to use 'Quadra Slam' and hits the Rizopas four times, finishing it off. Unfortunately, both Stinkoman and Pom Pom go unconsious, and of course Stinkoman gets a flashback...  
  
===============================================================  
  
Stinkoman was motionless. He had been thrown right into this mysterious area. To make things worse for him, someone he didn't really expect went along with him.  
  
"Hey Stinkoman!" He said, "Is there any chance I can still be the guy?"  
  
Stinkoman turned around, and saw who it was. It was Dhomestenic 'Japanimation' Runner, 20X6 variation of present day Homestar Runner. "Still no way!" Stinkoman replied, "You're still a kid, and will be stuck like that."  
  
"It doesn't matter anyways. We're no longer in 20X6!"  
  
"What?!? You've got to be joking!"  
  
"I'm afraid not. Somehow we've been sucked into this world and I will find out what's going on."  
  
"Yeah you go on and find out. I don't have time here to put up with you!"  
  
Stinkoman then ran away and familiarized himself with his surroundings. This world was really different than Stinkoman imagined. The world in the year of 20X6 was very different than what was around. It was far too quiet, and bare, that is until Stinkoman felt a heavy drift, as some sort of... flying ship thing flew by. Another one of those ships flew by as well. 'What was that?' Stinkoman thought. 'Those can't... be... Airships!' Stinkoman ran after the airships, and had to use different modes of travel that were safe but also really fast, but then again, Stinkoman fears no danger, well almost all danger. Unfortunately, Stinkoman lost the airships and found himself at a desert. As Stinkoman ran through the desert, he finds a castle in the distance. There was something familiar about the castle though...  
  
===============================================================  
  
Before Stinkoman could go on with the flashback, he got nudged by something. He woke up, got up on his feet and looked to his left to see some sort of... rat thing who could flop it's nose. "Uh, who are you?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"Wreeeeeeeek!" The rat-like creature replied, "Wreeeeeeeeek! Waooo..ooooo! You buffoons strangers! Sneak hates strangers! Animals get scared by you!!"  
  
And of course, that rat-like creature scampered away. Moments later, Pom Pom woke up. "*bubble* *bubble*" (What the? We're in the Veldt now!) Pom Pom said.  
  
"Yeah," Stinkoman replied, "And you would have seen the appearance of some funny rat-thing that just woke me up! Apparantly it said that it's name is 'Sneak'."  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Sneak? I don't know of anyone called Sneak, unless you mean... The Sneak!)  
  
"The Sneak? I think I heard that somewhere before. I wonder if relates in any way to the Cheat..."  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Well anyways, lets head for Homebliz...)  
  
The two then explore. Of course, the place was really dangerous, as there were familiar foes there, especially because they were enemies that everyone previously faced before. Were-rats, Vaporites, and Tuskers are some of the few enemies that popped up, and they attacked. Stinkoman pummels away at some of these beasts, while Pom Pom continues using 'Quadra Slam' on the enemies. The Sneak ran to the two. "Sneak hungry..." The Sneak said.  
  
"Uh, Pom Pom, what should we do?" Stinkoman asked Pom Pom.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Run like heck and don't look back!) Pom Pom replied.  
  
The two then ran and ran as fast as they could, and eventually ran their way to Homebliz. They finally arrived there. "Whoa! That Sneak is really sneaky!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble*" (Yeah,) Pom Pom replied, "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (But now we're at our destination. We still have to find a way back to Cheatshe! Oh well, lets check this place out anyways.)  
  
Stinkoman and Pom Pom check out Homebliz. Everything seems normal, and not invaded yet. They find out that there's a place full of Carrier Pigeons, and that the place was used for sending mail back and forth with them. Stinkoman and Pom Pom just ignore it and check out the house further past the house with Carrier Pigeons. They open the door and find someone in bed. Strong Sad was also here too. Strong Sad turned around. "Oh hi Strong Bad," Strong Sad said.  
  
"I'm not Strong Bad!" Stinkoman replied, "I'm Stinkoman! There's a difference you know!"  
  
"Oh, sorry Stinkoman. You just reminded a lot of Strong Bad."  
  
Strong Sad walked over to the bed. "This man has been severely hurt in battle, and the Empire," Strong Sad explained, "And he is unable to move anymore. They did a really nasty thing to him. I found that he had arrows on his legs. The Empire found out about the soldier here which came from the town of Marooneda after learning that they were the invading Imperial Army invaded"  
  
"Argh that Children/Arrowed Guy!" Stinkoman shouted, "He's gonna pay!"  
  
"*bubble*" (I concur, Stinkoman), Pom Pom replied.  
  
"So Strong Sad, why not come with us? We are looking for the whole gang, no matter how pathetic, except for that Homsar weirdo on the Phantom Train." Stinkoman said.  
  
"Homsar?" Strong Sad replied, "I thought Homsar disappeared. Where is he?"  
  
"He's not important right now Strong Sad, and besides, he thought that Clover took his 'Jenga Jam' and 'shanked' his 'Jenga Ship', whatever those mean. We're trying to find a way back to Cheatshe."  
  
"Cheatshe? I don't even know how to get there myself. That place is unaccessible, and no way to get there."  
  
"We'll see about that Strong Sad!"  
  
Stinkoman ran out of the house, leaving Strong Sad and Pom Pom behind. "*bubble* *bubble*" (That Stinkoman can be really zealous sometimes), Pom Pom said, "*bubble* *bubble*" (I'll find out what he's up to...)  
  
Pom Pom also left the house, and saw that Stinkoman was talking to some of the villagers. "Uh, is there a way to get out of this place?" Stinkoman asked.  
  
"Well, the only way out is at Crescent Island," The villager replied, "The Serpent Trench is there and it should get you out of there. Unfortunately, unless you have a breathing utility, don't count on making through the trench alive."  
  
"Okay, thanks."  
  
Stinkoman then went to another villager, and got some useful info. "Hey, I saw the Sneak around the danger-filled lands of the Veldt, and someone threw a piece of dried cheese in and the Sneak ate it!" The villager replied.  
  
"Where I can I find these dried cheeses?"  
  
"The Item shop has it available. You should find some there."  
  
"Thanks. We'll get some."  
  
Stinkoman went to the item shop, and bought some dried cheese, and also potions and other healing items as well. Also, he went to the weapons shop and picked up a Kotetsu for Pom Pom, and a couple of Magus Hats as well. Pom Pom didn't know what Stinkoman was doing, and bounced along to find out what was going on. Stinkoman left and met with Pom Pom. "Pom Pom, get Strong Sad because we're after the Sneak now!" Stinkoman reminded Pom Pom.  
  
"*bubble*" (Okay then,) Pom Pom replied, "*bubble*" (Strong Sad!)  
  
"Okay I'll come along too!" Strong Sad replied, "But I don't want to get beaten around by the ugly monsters okay?"  
  
"Sure, we'll make sure you won't get beat up," Stinkoman responded, "much..."  
  
Stinkoman, Pom Pom, and also Strong Sad leave Homebliz and begin their search for the Sneak. The three did run into some more enemies. Strong Sad couldn't attack them and couldn't dodge them, so Stinkoman and Pom Pom had to do the fighting for him. When enough enemies were defeated, the Sneak came back. Stinkoman tosses some dried cheese to the Sneak, and the Sneak eats it. "Wreeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" The Sneak went.  
  
"What the?" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble*" (Though art so... odd.) Pom Pom replied.  
  
"What's with that accent still Pom Pom?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Oops, sorry. Anyways, I'm Pom Pom and this is Stinkoman.)  
  
"You Stinkoman... you Pom Pom... I want more cheese!" The Sneak said.  
  
"No more cheese for you," Stinkoman replied.  
  
"You go... get more for me!"  
  
"You're a regular munchkin, the Sneak!"  
  
"And... You afraid of me?"  
  
"You want a challenge?!?"  
  
"Sneak don't want to hurt you..."  
  
The Sneak went closer to Stinkoman and just stared at him. "Stop looking at me like that!" Stinkoman complained.  
  
Stinkoman grabbed the Sneak and they both jumped around like mad, as if they were battling each other. Pom Pom and Strong Sad just watched this ridiculous scene, with confused looks on their faces. The jumping continued for a while and then stopped. Both Stinkoman and the Sneak were pooped. "*wheeze* *puff*!" Stinkoman went, "You're a pretty tough little fellow!"  
  
"Wah Ha! The Sneak found it fun!" The Sneak replied.  
  
The two then continue doing all that jumping business and stopped again. "The Sneak like dancing!" The Sneak said, "You a good leader!"  
  
Stinkoman bolted away from the Sneak. "Shut up!" Stinkoman told the Sneak.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Simmer down you two! And thou, o wild one... The Sneak you're called? Who might you be?"  
  
"Thou?" The Sneak replied, "Thou! Thou!"  
  
Pom Pom got annoyed. The Sneak continued saying, "Thou! Thou!" over and over again.  
  
Pom Pom got so annoyed that he turned his back towards the Sneak. "You angry?" The Sneak asked.  
  
"Pom Pom? You angry at me?" The Sneak repeated, at each side of Pom Pom.  
  
Stinkoman stopped the Sneak. "The Sneak, his family was just..." Stinkoman told the Sneak.  
  
"Dead? If so, then me understand... Me sorry. Sneak not a mean animal." The Sneak replied.  
  
Pom Pom turned around after realizing the feeling the Sneak had towards Pom Pom's family. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Come on you two! We can't have the two of yous prancing around all day!) Pom Pom told the two, "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (The Sneak, I think we will get along well together. Why don't you join us?)  
  
"Okay! Sneak join you," The Sneak replied, "I give you three present! Sneak give nice present in exchange for food!"  
  
"Uh, what's the Sneak going to pull on us?" Strong Sad asked.  
  
"I don't know the rubbish he's gonna pull on..." Stinkoman tried to reply.  
  
"The Sneak's treasure! Shiny, shiny! Shiny shiny shiny!!!" The Sneak yelled.  
  
"Can anything be equally shiny as myself?" Stinkoman said to the Sneak.  
  
"Does Mr. Thou like shiny thing?"  
  
"Uh, Mr. Thou is Pom Pom over there, not me! A shiny thing eh? Just think how jealous Strong Bad is gonna be when he hears about it!"  
  
"Who Strong Bad? He a bad man? Maybe he try to steal Sneak's treasure, or maybe he has boxing gloves on!"  
  
"The Sneak, well Strong Bad is..." Stinkoman tried to say. Unfortunately, the Sneak wasn't listening.  
  
"Hey!" Stinkoman shouted, "Listen when someone is talking to you!!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Stinkoman! The Sneak is trying to tell us something!) Pom Pom said to Stinkoman.  
  
"Okay then, Carry on Sneak..." Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Stinkoman! Place where you bought food! It called Homebliz! Named after the Homestar Runner!" The Sneak said, "Pom Pom, place where you stand. River brought you here right? We go to Crescent Mountain! Shiny thing is over there!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Look! Lets just go along to this Crescent Mountain anyways okay?) Pom Pom told Stinkoman and Strong Sad.  
  
Pom Pom and The Sneak walk away, leaving Stinkoman and Strong Sad behind. "Oh man, why did we invite it along anyways?" Stinkoman said.  
  
"I don't know," Strong Sad replied, "I'm only concerned about the situation you three are getting me into."  
  
The Sneak ran back to them. "Mr. Thou! Strong Sad! Hurry up! We're leaving!" The Sneak said.  
  
"Hey! I already told you once! I am NOT Mr. Thou!" Stinkoman shouted back.  
  
Stinkoman grabbed Strong Sad by the hand and dragged him along. The four continue through the Veldt to the north. More creatures attacked there. They were still enemies that were fought before by Stinkoman and the rest of the gang before. Stinkoman just pummeled the monsters, while Pom Pom used 'Quadra Slam'. The Sneak used a special technique and started to attack enemies in the same fashion as one of the enemies. The Sneak attacked like a Brawler, and tossed rocks at enemies, knocking them out cold or making them turn around. "Whoa! That was impressive!" Stinkoman commented.  
  
After the discussion and enough enemy fighting, the four reach the Crescent Cave. "That place is pretty dangerous," Strong Sad said, "Are you sure it's a good idea to go there?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Strong Sad! If you want to get to Cheatshe, this is probably the only way to get there!) Pom Pom replied.  
  
They enter the cave. The cave was really big, and full of really long falls. "The thing the Sneak spoke of should be here!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Uh Sir Sneak, where is it?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"The Sneak forget!" The Sneak replied, "And me find you talking strange!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Darnit, my weird accent again!)  
  
"Pom Pom, Strong Sad, The Sneak, we should look around!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"*bubble*" (Indeed!) Pom Pom replied.  
  
The four explore the cave. Of course, there hasn't been much found. There was a tonic somewhere, and of course the Sneak played a trick on Stinkoman, which caused him to drop some of his money. "That was a dirty trick!" Stinkoman shouted, "Not nice at all!"  
  
"Gee Stinkoman," Strong Sad asked, "You're really against the Sneak aren't you?"  
  
"Oops," The Sneak replied, "Sneak apologize for problem."  
  
After the discussion, the four continue on and find another entrance. The Sneak ran ahead and burrowed into the ground. Out came some sort of... Golden submerging device. "*bubble* *bubble*" (This is it? The Sneak's treasure?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"Yessss, it treasure!" The Sneak replied.  
  
"*bubble*" (Looks like glass...)  
  
"Hmm.... is it of any use?" Stinkoman asked, "It looks like it can fit... Is it of any use?"  
  
The Sneak jumped around and then did a breathing motion while wearing it for a while. "This thing can let us breathe underwater? Awesome!" Stinkoman said, "Lets go everyone!"  
  
The four run out. "The current's fast," Strong Sad said.  
  
"No kidding Strong Sad," Stinkoman replied, "But if we don't go there, we'll never see our friends again! Lets hop in!"  
  
Stinkoman pushed Strong Sad into the water, and jumped in after him. Pom Pom jumped after them. The Sneak wasn't sure if it was okay to jump. Taking a deep breath, the Sneak took a leap of faith and plunged in with them. The four used the device for oxygen as they tumbled around underwater, having to put up with underwater critters along the way. Anguiforms attacked with Aqua Rake, causing considerable damage to the four. Stinkoman pummeled at the critter and kicked away the other critters that got in their way as they continue moving through the current. It got faster and faster, and of course it launched the four into a cave. "This must be a checkpoint," Stinkoman said, "Lets fix ourselves up before we go any further! I can't believe the nerve the critters had when they used that ridiculous bubble attack!"  
  
After the four were finally back in shape. They continued through the entrance ahead and went back into the trench. Once again they had to put up with more of it's nasties. As usual, Stinkoman pummels away the real nasty critters, mainly the Anguiforms and Actaneons. The Aspiks were also a pain as well, but of course Pom Pom showed them and dispatched them immediately. Once again, the four find themselves right in another cave again. There wasn't much healing to do, and so they went on their way. The four had to find a way to drain the water. Pom Pom located the button and stepped on it, and the water drained from the pool, revealing the hole which the four had to jump in. Stinkoman, Pom Pom and The Sneak could get through fine, but they had to pull Strong Sad through by his legs because of the size of Strong Sad. After pulling Strong Sad through, the four jump through the trench again and then were flowing right towards somewhere away from the Veldt. They blacked out for now. The four got up and found out that they were at a town's boat docks. They ended up in Nikeah. The four decide to check out the town before going on. "Lets get prepared before we take the boat to South Concession," Stinkoman said to the others.  
  
There, they bought some protection, and Stinkoman got a white cape and smoke bombs from the relic and item shops. Some of the ladies were flirting with Pom Pom and of course this annoyed him. Strong Sad picked up all the protection he needed, and even arming himself with a Mithril Pike. Stinkoman ended up laughing! "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA You look ridiculous!" Stinkoman said.  
  
"That's not funny!" Strong Sad replied.  
  
After all the shopping and exploration was done, the four head for the ship at the dock. "This ship is heading to South Concession." The captain said, "You four going there?"  
  
"We are," Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Okay then."  
  
The ship started moving and it started heading for South Concession. "*bubble* *bubble*" (Cheatshe should be a stone throw away,) Pom Pom said.  
  
"I really hope the others arrived there safely!" Stinkoman replied.  
  
"*bubble*" (I'm sure they did.)  
  
"Me hope so too," The Sneak added.  
  
The ship finally arrived at South Concession, but of course there was a lot of problems there. "This is terrible!" Stinkoman said, "The Empire is already invading this place?!?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Lets beat up all those Imperial Soldiers that get in our way and make a run for Cheatshe!) Pom Pom replied.  
  
Stinkoman dashed right up and knocked the Imperial Soldier in Magitek Armor into the water. "Okay everyone, follow my lead!" Stinkoman said.  
  
The four fight their way through the Empire-infested town, and of course Strong Bad and the Cheat weren't around, as they have entered the secret rooms of the large house in the town. The four run through Cave Concession and put up with Hornets, Crawlies, and other new baddies as well as they fight their way to Cheatshe...  
  
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Well, this is the end of Stinkoman's adventure! The four will finally reach Cheatshe and something sinister will go on soon. Sorry for the delay of the chapters.  
  
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	7. Attack of the Empire, resistance of the ...

Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com  
  
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Square-Enix.  
  
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.  
  
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Author Note: Talk about late! I apologize for being so late on this. Real life has been in the way and I haven't got around to it much, and I'll probably not update with a new chapter until next month. Also, Stinkoman will now shout out "Double Deuce!" instead of that other blabber I thought I heard, and thanks to the guy who pointed it out to me. Well, here's the next chapter...  
  
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Chapter 7: Attack of the Empire, resistance of the Returners  
  
At the Elder's house, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, The Blacksmith, and Arvis gathered around. "I understand all of it..." The Elder said, "Except... How can WE be encouraging Bloodshed?"  
  
"I never said that!" Arvis replied.  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"Ha! He's right you know!" The Blacksmith said.  
  
"Blacksmith!" Arvis shouted at the Blacksmith.  
  
"Our Blood will spill because of you! The King of Town is racing to acquire Magitek power. He has his sights set at the Esper that was found here! The increased use of Magitek power will surely lead... to global destruction!"  
  
"The War of the Magi and 20X6 and 1936," The Elder replied, "The mythical battle that set all life back for thousands of years... Can it really be happening? People will never learn..."  
  
The discussion was broken as Stinkoman, Pom Pom, Strong Sad, and the Sneak arrived. Homestar Runner noticed. "Pom Pom!" Homestar said, "How is my main man doin?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Well, things were hectic back there Homestar,) Pom Pom replied, "*bubble* *bubble*" (With all the problems that went on...)  
  
Bubs went to Stinkoman. "Stinkoman! You're all right!" Bubs said, "Uh, who is with you besides Pom Pom and Strong Sad?"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (I'm the retainer to the King of Pomo), Pom Pom replied, "And this fellow here is the Sneak!"  
  
"The Sneak?" Bubs replied, "That name alone reminds me of the Cheat!"  
  
"The Sneak... The Sneak!" The Sneak said.  
  
"The people of Pomo got wiped out by the Empire!"  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Children/Arrowed guy got the Poopsmith to pollute the water with crap...) Pom Pom said.  
  
"Poopsmith?!?" Homestar replied, "Dat is sew worse than being given bum candy!"  
  
"That's barbaric!" The Elder said.  
  
"Elder!" The Blacksmith shouted.  
  
"That was only because Pomo was collaborating with the Returners! If we make that mistake..."  
  
Of course the Elder was interrupted again. "That's just nonsense!" Strong Bad said as he got in.  
  
"Stwong Bah!" Homestar replied.  
  
"Shut it Homestar!" Strong Bad told Homestar, "The Empire is poised to attack Cheatshe right now!"  
  
"WHAT?!?" Bubs shouted.  
  
"Strong Bad, where did you hear that?" The Blacksmith asked.  
  
"Oh, Marzipan here." Strong Bad replied, "She was one of the Generals..."  
  
"*bubble* *bubble*" (Grr! She seemed familiar! Out of my way Sneak!) Pom Pom said angrily. "*bubble* *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (Marzipan's a General! What a traitor! She torched Marooneda! She's an Imperial Spy! Now stand aside!)  
  
"Pom Pom!" Homestar said.  
  
Pom Pom was about to get back at Marzipan with a Swordtech, but Strong Bad went in front of Marzipan. "Hold it right there bud!" Strong Bad said, "Marzipan joined the Returners now! She will be fighting with us!"  
  
"*bubble*" (But Strong Bad...)  
  
"I promised to protect her the best I can. I'm not backing down from my word, like I nearly did against the Tunnel Armor..."  
  
"Meeeam! Mememamemeahmemameanmeaehmememem?!?" (Hey! What's the Sneak doing here?!?) The Cheat asked.  
  
"Cheat have a problem with Sneak?" The Sneak replied.  
  
"Ahemamemnanemnmaeanemanmena!" (You bet I do the Sneak!)  
  
"You two!" Bubs interrupted, "Stop it. And Strong Bad, are you still on with about... that?"  
  
"Hey, I wuz awlso an Imperial Soldier before," Homestar said.  
  
"*bubble*" (WHAT!!!) Pom Pom freaked out.  
  
"The Empire's evil, but the citizens aren't!" Bubs told Pom Pom.  
  
"Yeah, and I...." Stinkoman was about to say before being interrupted.  
  
"Emergency! The Empire Cometh!" A Cheatshe Soldier said.  
  
Everyone gasped. "Oh great," Strong Sad said, "We're all doomed..."  
  
At the deserts of Concession...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
The Children/Arrowed guy was ahead of the army of Imperial Soldiers. "I don't care what you all do here! JUST GET ME THAT ESPER!!!" He yelled.  
  
"Lord John!" An Imperial Soldier responded.  
  
"Exterminate everyone, and don't call me Lord John, or John the Bald guy! I'm the Children/Arrowed guy!"  
  
"But Cheatshe is neutral..."  
  
"Idiot! Read my lips! Dispose of any who oppose us, or I'll have you arrowed! March!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed guy continued walking, and the Imperial Soldiers and Imperial Soldiers in Magitek Armor, as well as Punting Dinos marched behind, towards Cheatshe...  
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
Back at Cheatshe, the Elder was worried. "We really have no choice, lets get ready for war!" The Elder said.  
  
"They're after the Esper," The Blacksmith reminded the Elder.  
  
"We have moved it into the hills."  
  
"Then we'll be going up after it," Bubs replied.  
  
Everyone got in a line. Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, the Cheat, Bubs, Coach Z, Stinkoman, Pom Pom, the Sneak, Strong Sad, and Marzipan, with the Blacksmith taking the lead the whole way. As they were walking up. They had some discussions.  
  
"Homestar, you had the gift of magic?" Marzipan asked.  
  
"Uh whut? You can use magiek too?" Homestar replied.  
  
"We both ended up with this somehow, and it didn't seem to have anything to do with the Empire in their part..."  
  
"Uh, have you loved anyone?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean Homestar? I'm still your girlfriend."  
  
"Oh, okay then Marzipan."  
  
As they went further up. Pom Pom was still furious at Marzipan. "*bubble* *bubble*" (Don't think that I can trust you Marzipan!) Pom Pom said.  
  
"Fine," Marzipan replied, "You find out for yourself and you'll be devastated at the results."  
  
Finally, the whole group gets to the mountain. Homestar wanted to wonder what happened on the Phantom Train. "Uh, Stinkoman?" Homestar said.  
  
"Yes Homestar?" Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Whut were you, Pom Pom and Homeschool doin on da Phontom Twain anyways?"  
  
"Phantom Train? Well to tell you, there's a lot of familiar faces, from TV Shows, Cartoons, and even Video games."  
  
"Oh man, dats the best stage I've evar heard of!"  
  
"It's not a stage Homestar. It's an actual location. We had to put up with some of the spirits, mainly that purple-eyed witch Mandy!"  
  
"Maendeiy?"  
  
Strong Bad overheard. "Cartoon characters in the Phantom Train?" Strong Bad said, "Why haven't I been notified?"  
  
"Because you and the Cheat were away slowing down the Empire!" Stinkoman replied.  
  
"Oh. Well still, you're real lucky to meet them!"  
  
"Yeah, and even some ghosts helped us, even the ghost of Clover!"  
  
"Oh crap! I really should have been there with you and Pom Pom! I missed the best opportunities the whole time!"  
  
"And then there was this appearance by this ridiculous Homestar lookalike named Homsar."  
  
"Homsar? Well what did you do with him?"  
  
"I kicked him off the train and...."  
  
Then all of a sudden, some being was going down real fast, and crashed into the snow near the group. He got up and wiped himself off. "Ttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaatttt waaaaaaaasss ffffffunnnnnn!" Homsar said.  
  
"Oh man!" Strong Bad said, "You kicked Homsar all the way here?"  
  
"That was unintentional!" Stinkoman replied, "I was hoping he would land in a less pleasant area, like that one Imperial base somewhere on this world..."  
  
Elsewhere, the Cheat and the Sneak were having a fight. "Meeeeeeeeeeahameanmenmamnenmeeem!" (Your Rages don't match my Cheats!) The Cheat shouted.  
  
"Does Cheat really think so? Me feel funny being told that," The Sneak replied, "Sneak didn't meet Cheat in own world."  
  
"Meaaaah?!? Maeemanmenmaneeameaeaejadddm?" (What?!? What do you mean by that?)  
  
"Sneak only was in 1936, while Cheat at later date. Hardly knew you says me."  
  
The discussions were cut off by the Blacksmith. "They're coming!" The Blacksmith said.  
  
The team looked down at the bottom of the mountain and saw the awful truth: The Children/Arrowed guy and many Imperial Soldiers are at the bottom of the mountain, ready to strike. "Ohnos! It's General Marzipan!" Children/Arrowed guy said, "That traitor! How delightful! This will be fun! Troops, go get those vile insects!"  
  
The Imperial Soldiers and Magitek Armor-riding Soldiers, and Punting Dinos charged up. "We have to 'sploit' up into groups, team!" Coach Z said. "Homestar, Marzipan, 'Steenkoman', Pom Pom, you all go after the Children/Arrowed guy. Strong Bad, 'the Chorp', the Sneak, and Strong Sad will prevent some of the troops from getting to the Blacksmith. And finally, myself and Bubs will dispatch the Soldiers from the top. Get in your groups, everyone! It's time to kick Empire butt!"  
  
Strong Bad was infuriated. 'With Strong Sad? Coach Z's out of his mind! Of course I get to be with the Cheat and the Sneak so it's no loss.' Strong Bad thought.  
  
Homestar's group run down the hill and start attacking. Homestar bats the Punting Dinos into groups of Soldiers, defeating them all. Unfortunately, a Punting Dino managed to boot Homestar away. Luckily, Marzipan struck the Punting Dino with an Ice spell, causing it to freeze to ice. Stinkoman learned a new Blitz, called 'Fire Dance', and decided to give it a try. Fire images of Stinkoman attacked groups of Soldiers, lighting them on fire and burning them. Pom Pom used 'Quadra Slam' on the Magitek Armor riders, and was pulled off the hits on them. Of course, a Magitek Armor launched a fire beam at Pom Pom, sending him to unconsiousness. "Dat's it!" Homestar yelled, "Nobody messes with Pom Pom and gets away with it!"  
  
Homestar jumped up and knocked the Imperial Soldier out of the Magitek Armor. Homestar grinned as he turned it around. The Children/Arrowed guy was shocked. "No! How did Homestar Runner get that Magitek Armor easily?!?" He said.  
  
Imperial Soldiers got near the top and of course, they did not expect Strong Bad. Strong Bad punched a Magitek Armor and caused it and the Imperial Soldier inside to roll down like a boulder or a snowball. The Cheat attacked with the flamethrower cheat, while the Sneak attacks like a Magitek Armor, shooting Tek-lasers at Imperial Soldiers. "Sneak overcome buffoons!" The Sneak said.  
  
"Meeaammeeeeeh!" (Agreed!) The Cheat replied.  
  
Strong Sad was still nervous and couldn't attack. An Imperial Soldier got near the top where the Blacksmith was at, until it got arrowed by Bubs, who used the Autocrossbow to down the enemies. Homestar's group got near the bottom, and of course also near the Children/Arrowed guy. There was one soldier who was moving back and forth as if he were a shield, and immediately attacked Homestar's group. This was known as the rider, with a man riding ontop of a furious creature. It was a dangerous foe, possessing dangerous spells and attacks. Of course, Homestar avoided the attacks and attacked the rider. Marzipan strikes the rider with an Ice spell, while Stinkoman pummeled at it from behind. Of course, the rider was one big brute. Homestar was about to attack with Tek Missile, but unfortunately, the Magitek Armor went out of control and broke down. "Stoopid peice of eqwipment," Homestar yelled, "Why deedn't it bweak down beefore?"  
  
Stinkoman takes a look at the armor, to find it had been sabotaged, and that an Imperial Soldier did it. "You thought you could use it to full potential eh?" The Imperial Soldier said, "Well too bad!"  
  
"This is what happens to losers that mess with the world!" Stinkoman shouted as he booted an Imperial Soldier into the air.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy became enraged. "What the?!?" He said, "Everyone's getting annihilated!"  
  
An Imperial Soldier ran with a sweat. "We're being attacked from all sides, and it's the 65 of us against the 10 or so of those guys!" He told the Children/Arrowed Guy.  
  
"Don't forget those punting Dinos! I should have went with the superior Templars and Heavy Armors instead of those!"  
  
"Well you didn't know how powerful they would be right?"  
  
"Yeah! Now get back there or risk getting arrowed!"  
  
"Yes, Sir..."  
  
The Imperial Soldier nervously ran back, only to collapse back down encased in ice. Marzipan had used another Ice spell, and Homestar Runner was bashing repeatingly at the rider's head, and eventually caused it to collapse. The Children/Arrowed Guy sweat-dropped, but not showing any indication of fear towards everyone. Every Imperial Soldier, Punting Dino, and Magitek and Heavy Armors have been defeated. "So, you descpicable fools beat all of those guys eh?" Children/Arrowed Guy said, "Well now feel my wrath!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy got ready for battle and opened with a sword swing at Homestar Runner. Homestar blocked it with his baseball bat and attacked with a fire spell. Bubs uses the Autocrossbow from above but none of the bolts got the Children/Arrowed Guy. "That's not arrows!" Children/Arrowed Guy said, "These are arrows! ARROWED!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy spit out lots of arrows towards the station Bubs and Coach Z were at, and got down along with the Blacksmith to avoid the arrows. "That's unreal!" The Blacksmith commented, "Magic is strange, but people spitting hundreds of arrows out of their mouths takes the cake!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy continued attacking, and actually catapulted swords everyone's way. "SWORDED!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted as he launches more swords at Homestar and Marzipan.  
  
Up from above, Strong Bad, The Cheat, The Sneak, and Strong Sad see the situation. "This is really terrible," Strong Sad said, "What should we do?"  
  
"Strike him down!" Strong Bad replied, "And you're going first!"  
  
Strong Bad shoved Strong Sad and he went down like a boulder. Strong Sad rolled down the mountain at a fast rate and already got dizzy and naucious, and eventually collided into the Children/Arrowed Guy and knocking him down. "Oh gee, sorry mister," Strong Sad said.  
  
"Oh, apologizing to the enemy eh?" Children/Arrowed Guy replied, "I'll show you apologies! MSG'D!"  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy tossed spring rolls at Strong Sad, hitting him right in the stomach. You'd think that with being fat like that, Strong Sad wouldn't get affected by it, but did. His stomach lining hurt, causing him to collapse on the ground. "Now to send the rest of yous going down to my level! CEREBELLUM'D!" Children/Arrowed Guy said.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy materialized in a brain with an eyepatch and a lip and used it to stun everyone and have them tumbling down. Strong Bad, The Cheat, The Sneak, Bubs, and Coach Z rolled down the hills dazed to the Children/Arrowed Guy's level. Homestar noticed this. "This dues not look good for Homestar Runnar, or anybudy else..." Homestar commented.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy noticed that the only ones that didn't get brought down were The Black Smith and Homsar. "Argh! That foul Blacksmith and that stupidity Homsar didn't go down! I'll get them!" He said.  
  
"Buffoon never let friends up there get hurt by meany like you!" The Sneak interrupted.  
  
"Meeahemmaememeaaahmemeamame" (Homsar isn't our friend, Sneak.) The Cheat added.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy materialized out of the brain and into the Children truck. "This will be a piece of cake! CHILDREN!" He yelled.  
  
"Sneak beat up truck with Templar abilities!" The Sneak said.  
  
Of course things were crazy. The roads were too small to drive a vehicle. "Oh damn! Me and my bright ideas!" Children/Arrowed Guy said to himself. "Spring wheel catapult activate!"  
  
Just then, the Children Truck got hit by a strong fire spell, knocking the truck forwards and crashing inbetween another path up the mountain. "I should have taken care of the others at the bottom before doing this!" Children/Arrowed Guy muttered.  
  
The Children Truck vanished and the Children/Arrowed Guy leaped up and then once again attempted to get everyone 'Arrowed' again. Once again the arrows were easy to dodge. Everyone was in a panic. "Why are we evading him for?" Stinkoman said, "Lets run in head first and show this crazed bald guy who's boss!"  
  
Everyone agreed and leaped from their hiding place. Marzipan uses an Ice spell on the Children/Arrowed Guy, who then got whalloped by Strong Bad, and received another dosage of Fire 2 from the Sneak, then got hit by 'meatballs' from the Cheat, got whacked by Homestar Runner. The Children/Arrowed Guy went flying and then fell down. He got up. "I'm still standing! MSG'D!" Children/Arrowed Guy said.  
  
Spring rolls went everywhere, and also knocking the Cheat and the Sneak unconsious in the process. The Children/Arrowed Guy then followed with some magic of his own, mainly bolt, frying everyone minorly. Of course, Homestar pulled out a Phoenix Down and used it on Pom Pom, and then gave him a Potion afterwards. "*bubble*" (Thanks Homestar!) Pom Pom said to Homestar.  
  
Pom Pom then lunged towards with a Quadra Slam, juggling the Children/Arrowed Guy. "Argh!" Children/Arrowed Guy went.  
  
The Children/Arrowed Guy then attempted to strike Pom Pom and Homestar Runner at the same time, and hit Pom Pom only, as Homestar was able to dodge fast enough. "Time to do the ultimate attack! EXTERMINATED!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted.  
  
Lasers went all over the place, scarring the field, and managing to knock others unconsious, mainly Marzipan and Bubs. It still continued on and on. Stinkoman was getting tired. "These lasers are non-stop! I'm gonna have to do this now..." Stinkoman said, "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLEEEE DEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEE!!!"  
  
Stinkoman executed the Grand Flash attack successfully. "No!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted, "This can't be! How could he still be able to do thhhhhiiiiisssss?!!!??!??!?!!??"  
  
After the dust, debris and snow settled, the Children/Arrowed Guy was in severe pain. "Ow," He said, "Well, you all haven't heard the last of me! I'll be back!"  
  
And then he ran away. The lasers have already stopped showering down. Everything seemed okay now. Of course, those that have went unconsious had to be revived and get fully recovered again. Everyone went up to the top where the Blacksmith is waiting. Bubs asked, "Okay, where's this Esper?"  
  
"Um, is it okay?" Strong Bad asked.  
  
"As far as I know it is, but I can't assure you," The Blacksmith replied.  
  
Everyone then walked up the mountain to the point, where the frozen Esper rested. "Hey I've seen dis before," Homestar said, "It was at the time when I was working for the fweakin' Empire. This popsicle has a mind of it's own..."  
  
"Argh! Homestar!" Strong Bad replied, "That's a freakin' frozen Esper for crying out loud!"  
  
"Please you two, stop," The Blacksmith told them.  
  
Just then, the familiar bright blue glow pulsated. It continued, and then a force sent everyone back, and almost sending them off the cliff. Homestar got up. "That was a close call there," Bubs said.  
  
"*bubble*" (Is it still alive?) Pom Pom asked.  
  
"Oh man! This is Impossible...!? Right?" Stinkoman questioned.  
  
Strong Bad noticed that Homestar was walking right up to the frozen Esper. "Homestar! Get away from that freakin' Esper! WHAT IS IT?!?" Strong Bad shouted.  
  
"NOOOO!" Homestar shouted.  
  
"Homestar and that esper..." Stinkoman said.  
  
"Must be some kinda reaction!" Bubs replied.  
  
"'Thees' doesn't look good there," Coach Z added.  
  
Homestar was now face to face with the frozen Esper. "Uh, whut am I feelin' hewre?" Homestar questioned. "Cume on, what is fweakin' goin on here wit you? Like come on! Who am I now? WHO?!??!?"  
  
"Argh! Homestar! That's not gonna work!" Strong Bad told him.  
  
"Strong Bad!" Marzipan said to Strong Bad, "It's an Esper... I can feel it's mind..."  
  
"Homestar! Get away from the Esper!" Bubs shouted.  
  
It was too late. The frozen Esper used the same bolts on him that were used before, but rather than black out, Homestar began seeing different scenes that are irrelevant to the situation. Many places were shown in Homestar's view before it stopped. Homestar was knocked back. "Uh, where'd all those places come from?" Homestar asked.  
  
Before he knew it, Homestar got hit again by these bolts, but of course now Homestar felt really strange, as if there is a power rising from within himself. Marzipan noticed that Homestar was getting a little shorter, and turned black and white, and his eyes turning to shiny black dots. Plus his head was chubbier, and the flap for his hat was gone and the hat now two colours on top. He then ended up getting propelled, landing into different spots...  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Homeschool Winner was broke and didn't get much out of deliveries, because of the hectic conditions, and of course noticed Homestar in the sky. "The Homestar Runner I see," Homeschool said to himself, "How did he..."  
  
Before he could finish, Homestar crashed into the town and then bounced back out. Homeschool heard the familiar voice of a certain wheelchair. "What was that?" The talking Wheelchair asked.  
  
Homeschool went into the town the voice occurred from, Kool Sweet Cuppin' Cakes. There was a big hole where the collision occurred. "This doesn't look good," Homeschool said, "And I don't want to find out."  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Homestar, who changed to Oldtyme Homestar Runner, then crashed into another town, and finally hurdled into what could be the most dangerous town in the whole world.  
  
Back at Cheatshe...  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
Strong Bad was asleep, at Arvis' house. Marzipan just walked into the bedroom, and got Strong Bad to wake up. Strong Bad got up, still in pain. "Oooooh," Strong Bad said, "My head hurts."  
  
"Oh Strong Bad! You're awake?" Marzipan asked.  
  
"Yeah I'm awake now," Strong Bad replied, "But where's Homestar Runner?"  
  
"He changed into something, odd, and all black and white and stuff..."  
  
"Whoa! He must have turned to the Homestar Runner! That doesn't matter, I still hate everything about that guy."  
  
Strong Bad and Marzipan walked out of the room to the living room to see the others. "Strong Bad, Homestar seemed to be an Esper himself in some way, but how could it be possible?" Marzipan said.  
  
"Probably has to do with that good-for-nothin Esper!" Coach Z replied, "But of course it probably didn't mean any harm. I mean, why didn't we get struck by it's bolts?"  
  
Bubs walked in. "Well I can't seem to find the necessary parts for the drill and... Strong Bad! You okay now?" Bubs asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay now." Strong Bad replied.  
  
"Well something happened to Homestar Runner. He turned to what looked like himself directly from the year of 1936! There seems to be some connection between the Espers and him... Anyways, we need to go find him. Witnesses saw him crashing into every town imaginable to his west."  
  
"Okay then, lets get going! Even though I despise..."  
  
"Strong Bad!" Marzipan interrupted.  
  
"Strong Bad! Stop that. Now think everyone! The Empire still wants that Esper." Bubs added.  
  
"Don't forget. The Blacksmith needs our help too!" Stinkoman told everyone.  
  
"*bubble* *bubble* *bubble*" (A formal Imperial soldier... But Homestar's still a friend! We've got no choice but to help him!) Pom Pom said.  
  
"Okay then," Bubs replied, "We'll split up then. Four of us will be going to Concession Castle and get it to shuttle us to the western province. Then we'll check out 'Kool Sweet Cuppin' Cakes' and 'Burninator's Land'. Those that aren't going after Homestar Runner will stay to guard Cheatshe."  
  
"Amemeaaaaennaa. Deammaemeeeemmmaaeaaeeemmamaaajeeemf" (Well I'll stay behind. Me and the other Cheats must search for someone...) The Cheat told everyone.  
  
After the discussion, it was arranged. Strong Bad, Bubs, Stinkoman, and Pom Pom decided to go, while the others stayed behind. The four leave Cheatshe and make their way back to Concession Castle. The trip was less deadly and they made it there in one piece. When they got to the interior of it, Stinkoman stopped. "You know, I never checked the rest of this place out!" Stinkoman said, "So I'm gonna go check the rest of this place!"  
  
This leaved Strong Bad, Bubs, and Pom Pom to find the person who operates the castle. They went back to the inside of the entrance, and found stairs leading downstairs, at the right and to the left. Bubs leads the others down through the steps to the left, and meet a man with controls behind him. "Hey there," Bubs said to him, "We need to burrow down to the Western Province."  
  
"Your purpose being?" The old man replied.  
  
"Well, Homestar is somewhere in there since a reaction between him and that frozen Esper."  
  
"Okay then. Get ready!"  
  
The man walked to the controls behind him and set it to burrow to the Western Province. The Castle tucked itself in and then burrowed into the ground, and it moved steadily underground. Of course, it was mostly dark, and luckily none of the sand got in, just as it's supposed to. Finally, the castle rised up, and then came to a stop. "Okay then everyone," The old man said, "We're now at the Western Province."  
  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
With Homestar morphed to Oldtyme Homestar and flying off without knowing it, now it's up to the rest of the gang to find him, or to be more specific, Strong Bad, Stinkoman, Bubs, and Pom Pom. The Empire is still wanting the frozen Esper, but they don't seem to be in a hurry to get it. Next chapter, the antics from the whole gang continues!  
  
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End file.
